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Re: Joke of the Day
Live for yourself and you will live in vain. Live for others, and you will live againComment
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A tree is known by its fruit, a man by his deeds. A good deed is never lost, he who sows courtesy, reaps friendship, and he who plants kindness gathers love.
Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused.Comment
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Re: Joke of the Day
The other day I saw a radio for sale for $1, it had a sign on it that read "volume stuck on full".
I thought to myself "now there's a deal I can't turn down!"OmertÃComment
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Re: Joke of the Day
Recently, a large corporation hired several cannibals
to increase their diversity...
... "You are all part of our team now," said the Human Resources rep during the welcoming briefing. "You get all the usual benefits and you can go to the cafeteria for something to eat, but please don't eat any employees."
The cannibals promised they would not.
Four weeks later their boss remarked, "You're all working very hard and I'm satisfied with your work. We have noticed a marked increase in the whole company's performance. However, one of our secretaries has disappeared. Do any of you know what happened to her?"
The cannibals all shook their heads, "No."
After the boss had left, the leader of the cannibals said to the others, "Which one of you idiots ate the secretary?" A hand rose hesitantly. "You fool!" the leader continued. "For four weeks we've been eating managers and no one noticed anything. But now, you had to go and eat someone who actually does something."A tree is known by its fruit, a man by his deeds. A good deed is never lost, he who sows courtesy, reaps friendship, and he who plants kindness gathers love.
Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused.Comment
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Re: Joke of the Day
A doctor, a philanthropist, and an engineer are playing a round of golf behind a group of blind golfers.
As they wait for the impaired golfers to painstakingly finish the next hole, the doctor says
"What a motivating sight. I'm inspired to start a clinic for visually impaired people in order that they might better pursue their dreams."
The philanthropist nods in agreement and says "That's a worthy cause. I will donate a large sum of money toward this clinic of yours."
The engineer says "Couldn't these guys play at night?"A tree is known by its fruit, a man by his deeds. A good deed is never lost, he who sows courtesy, reaps friendship, and he who plants kindness gathers love.
Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused.Comment
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Re: Joke of the Day
The Greeks vs. The ItaliansA tree is known by its fruit, a man by his deeds. A good deed is never lost, he who sows courtesy, reaps friendship, and he who plants kindness gathers love.
Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused.Comment
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Re: Joke of the Day
Brunette: I'll be the first brunette to walk on Mars!
Ginger: I'll be the first ginger to walk on Venus!
Blonde: I'll be the first blonde to walk on the sun!
Ginger: You'll burn up if you try.
Blonde: Don't worry, I'll go at night.A tree is known by its fruit, a man by his deeds. A good deed is never lost, he who sows courtesy, reaps friendship, and he who plants kindness gathers love.
Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused.Comment
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Re: Joke of the Day
Translated:
Two friends are talking:
- Whats new with you?
- I become vegan.
- Why?!?
- I wished something modern but becoming gay scared me...A tree is known by its fruit, a man by his deeds. A good deed is never lost, he who sows courtesy, reaps friendship, and he who plants kindness gathers love.
Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused.Comment
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Re: Joke of the Day
A young couple are sitting eating dinner watching the news about the USA Bombing Iranian leaders.
The Wife turns to the husband and says " Joe, I wonder if they have Walmart's in Iraq and Iran "?
" Of course not Judy... They only have Targets! " Joe states proudly!
USAUSAUSAUSAComment
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WhateverComment
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Re: Joke of the Day
Sooo predictable...yet I laughed at this one. Thanks allan.A tree is known by its fruit, a man by his deeds. A good deed is never lost, he who sows courtesy, reaps friendship, and he who plants kindness gathers love.
Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused.Comment
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Re: Joke of the Day
One Sunday morning George burst into the living room and said,
"Dad!,Mom! I have some great news for you! I am getting married to the most beautiful girl in town. She lives a block away and her name is Susan.
After dinner, George's dad took him aside,
"Son, I have to talk with you. Look at your mother, George. She and I have been married 30 years.
She's a wonderful wife and mother, but, she has never offered much excitement in the bedroom, so I used to fool around with women a lot.
Susan is actually your half sister, and I'm afraid you can't marry her."
George was brokenhearted. After eight months he eventually started dating girls again. A year later he came home and very proudly announced,
"Diane said yes! We're getting married in June!"
Again his father insisted on another private conversation and broke the sad news.
"Diane is your half sister too, George. I'm awfully sorry about this."
George was livid! He finally decided to go to his mother with the news his father had shared.
"Dad has done so much harm. I guess I'm never going to get married," he complained.
"Every time I fall in love, Dad tells me the girl is my half sister."
"Hee hee," his mother chuckled, shaking her head, "don't pay any attention to what he says. He's not really your father."A tree is known by its fruit, a man by his deeds. A good deed is never lost, he who sows courtesy, reaps friendship, and he who plants kindness gathers love.
Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused.Comment
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