Joke of the Day

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  • izzynut
    Gov.

    5,000+ Posts
    • Aug 2013
    • 5347

    #5311
    Re: Joke of the Day

    image011.jpg

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    • izzynut
      Gov.

      5,000+ Posts
      • Aug 2013
      • 5347

      #5312
      Re: Joke of the Day

      1.Dad, are we pyromaniacs? Yes, we arson.

      2.What do you call a pig with laryngitis? Disgruntled.

      3.Writing my name in cursive is my signature move.

      4.Why do bees stay in their hives during winter? Swarm.

      5. If you're bad at haggling, you'll end up paying the price.

      6.Just so everyone's clear, I'm going to put my glasses on.

      7.A commander walks into a bar and orders everyone around.

      8.I lost my job as a stage designer. I left without making a scene.

      9.Never buy flowers from a monk. Only you can prevent florist friars.

      10.How much did the pirate pay to get his ears pierced? A buccaneer.

      11.I once worked at a cheap pizza shop to get by. I kneaded the dough.

      12. My friends and I have named our band 'Duvet'. It's a cover band.

      13.I lost my girlfriend's audiobook, and now I'll never hear the end of it.

      14.Why is 'dark' spelled with a k and not c? Because you can't see in the dark.

      15.Why is it unwise to share your secrets with a clock? Well, time will tell.

      16.When I told my contractor I didn't want carpeted steps, they gave me a blank stare.

      17.Bono and The Edge walk into a Dublin bar and the bartender says, "Oh no, not U2 again."

      18.Prison is just one word to you, but for some people, it's a whole sentence.

      19.Scientists got together to study the effects of alcohol on a person's walk, and the result was staggering.

      20.I'm trying to organize a hide and seek tournament, but good players are really hard to find.

      21.I got over my addiction to chocolate, marshmallows, and nuts. I won't lie, it was a rocky road.

      22.What do you say to comfort a friend who's struggling with grammar? There, their, they're.

      23.I went to the toy store and asked the assistant where the Schwarznegger dolls are and he replied, "Aisle B, back."

      24.What did the surgeon say to the patient who insisted on closing up their own incision? Suture self.


      25.I've started telling everyone about the benefits of eating dried grapes. It's all about raisin awareness.

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      • slimslob
        Retired

        Site Contributor
        25,000+ Posts
        • May 2013
        • 37405

        #5313
        Re: Joke of the Day

        Originally posted by izzynut
        [ATTACH=CONFIG]50567[/ATTACH]
        Groan.jpg

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        • slimslob
          Retired

          Site Contributor
          25,000+ Posts
          • May 2013
          • 37405

          #5314
          Re: Joke of the Day

          Originally posted by izzynut
          [ATTACH=CONFIG]50568[/ATTACH]

          Groan.jpg

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          • slimslob
            Retired

            Site Contributor
            25,000+ Posts
            • May 2013
            • 37405

            #5315
            Re: Joke of the Day

            Originally posted by izzynut
            [ATTACH=CONFIG]50564[/ATTACH]
            Clothes dryer version

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            • izzynut
              Gov.

              5,000+ Posts
              • Aug 2013
              • 5347

              #5316
              Re: Joke of the Day

              FB_IMG_1634848171330.jpg

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              • izzynut
                Gov.

                5,000+ Posts
                • Aug 2013
                • 5347

                #5317
                Re: Joke of the Day

                image002.jpg

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                • izzynut
                  Gov.

                  5,000+ Posts
                  • Aug 2013
                  • 5347

                  #5318
                  Re: Joke of the Day

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                  • izzynut
                    Gov.

                    5,000+ Posts
                    • Aug 2013
                    • 5347

                    #5319
                    Re: Joke of the Day

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                    • izzynut
                      Gov.

                      5,000+ Posts
                      • Aug 2013
                      • 5347

                      #5320
                      Re: Joke of the Day

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                      • izzynut
                        Gov.

                        5,000+ Posts
                        • Aug 2013
                        • 5347

                        #5321
                        Re: Joke of the Day

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                        • izzynut
                          Gov.

                          5,000+ Posts
                          • Aug 2013
                          • 5347

                          #5322
                          Re: Joke of the Day

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                          • izzynut
                            Gov.

                            5,000+ Posts
                            • Aug 2013
                            • 5347

                            #5323
                            Re: Joke of the Day

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                            • izzynut
                              Gov.

                              5,000+ Posts
                              • Aug 2013
                              • 5347

                              #5324
                              Re: Joke of the Day

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                              • izzynut
                                Gov.

                                5,000+ Posts
                                • Aug 2013
                                • 5347

                                #5325
                                Re: Joke of the Day

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