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There are 10 types of people in this world, those who understand binary maths and those who don't -
The greatest enemy of knowledge isn't ignorance, it is the illusion of knowledge. Stephen HawkingComment
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Re: Joke of the Day
I was beaten up on the job today.
I was in the elevator when a busty lady got in.
I was staring at her boobs, when she said, would you please press 1?
So I did.
I don't remember much afterwards....The greatest enemy of knowledge isn't ignorance, it is the illusion of knowledge. Stephen HawkingComment
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Re: Joke of the Day
Father Norton woke up Sunday morning and realizing it was an exceptionally beautiful and sunny early spring day, decided he just had to play golf. So... he told the Associate Pastor that he was feeling sick and persuaded him to say Mass for him that day.
As soon as the Associate Pastor left the room, Father Norton headed out of town to a golf course about forty miles away. This way he knew he wouldn't accidentally meet anyone he knew from his parish. Setting up on the first tee, he was alone. After all, it was Sunday morning and everyone else was in church!
At about this time, Saint Peter leaned over to the Lord while looking down from the heavens and exclaimed "You're not going to let him get away with this, are you?"
The Lord sighed, and said, "No, I guess not." Just then Father Norton hit the ball and it shot straight towards the pin, dropping just short of it, rolled up and fell into the hole.
IT WAS A 420 YARD HOLE IN ONE! St. Peter was astonished. He looked at the Lord and asked, "Why did you let him do that?" The Lord smiled and replied, "Who's he going to tell?"Cthulhu for president! Why settle for the lesser evil?Comment
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Re: Joke of the Day
If a tree falls in the forest and nobody is there to hear it, it's 'cause the National Parks are closed. Thanks Obama. 'Merica.
- Cloyd RiversDo for one what you wished you could do for everyone. - Andy StanleyComment
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Re: Joke of the Day
I saw this on a bumper sticker yesterday:
My wife gives me 100% sound advice... 99% sound, 1% advice.“I think you should treat good friends like a fine wine. That’s why I keep mine locked up in the basement.” - Tim HawkinsComment
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$hit Happens - Deal with it and move on.....................................sigpic....................................Lock & LoadComment
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If you don't see your question answered in the forum, please don't think it's OK to PM me for a personal reply...I do not give out firmware and/or manuals.Comment
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Re: Joke of the Day
This guy went to a bar...long story short, he met this broad and they went back to his place. Before they got undressed to do the horizontal mambo, he said, "Listen, I'm sorry but I don't think we should have sex right away". "Why's that?" she said.
"Well you see, I'm hung like a baby, and I wouldn't want you to laugh and decide you didn't want to have sex with me. Why don't we get to know each other first, and then when we feel we're ready, we'll do it."
So the girl agreed, but only because he was a good-looking dude and pretty nice.
Several dates later, they make it back to his place again, and after some conversation, they decide it's time. She undresses and slides into bed. He undresses, pulls out his dick, and slams it onto the bed with a thunderous noise.
She stares at his gigantic dick, in complete shock and awe.
"B-b-but I thought you said you were hung like a baby?"
"I am," he replied. "8 lbs, 14 and 1/2 inches."Cthulhu for president! Why settle for the lesser evil?Comment
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Re: Joke of the Day
Not a joke, but still one of the funniest things (and best comeback) I've heard in a long time.
1393644_10151687477440911_1616729985_n.jpg73 DE W5SSJComment
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"The Serenity Prayer" . . .
God grant me the serenity to accept stupid people , the courage to not waste my time and energy on them , and the wisdom to know that I cannot fix STUPID .Comment
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Re: Joke of the Day
How to deal with change:
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