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There are 10 types of people in this world, those who understand binary maths and those who don't -
Re: Joke of the Day
Alright, so now that I'm not spending a 12.5 hour day driving to every community South of me, I think it's time for another joke.
A little old lady went to the grocery store and put the most expensive cat food in her basket. She then went to the check out counter where she told the check out girl. "Nothing but the best for my little kitten. "
The girl at the cash register said, "I'm sorry, but we cannot sell you cat food without proof that you have a cat. A lot of old people buy cat food to eat, and the management wants proof that you are buying the cat food for your cat."
The little old lady went home, picked up her cat and brought it back to the store.
They sold her the cat food. The next day, the old lady went to the store and bought 12 of the most expensive dog cookies - one for each day of Christmas. The cashier this time demanded proof that she now had a dog, claiming that old people sometimes eat dog food. Frustrated she went home, came back and brought in her dog.
She was then given the dog cookies. The next day she brought in a box with a hole in the lid. The little old lady asked the cashier to stick her finger in the hole. The cashier said, "No, you might have a snake in there." The little old lady assured her that there was nothing in the box that would bite her. So the cashier put her finger into the box and pulled it out and told the little old lady, "That smells like crap."
The little old lady grinned from ear to ear, "Now, my dear, can I please buy three rolls of toilet paper?"
Never fool around with a Little old lady!
Cthulhu for president! Why settle for the lesser evil?Comment
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"The Serenity Prayer" . . .
God grant me the serenity to accept stupid people , the courage to not waste my time and energy on them , and the wisdom to know that I cannot fix STUPID .Comment
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Re: Joke of the Day
Because the circumsision ritual is a covenant with God. It is performed on the 8th day after birth. The mother isn't allowed in the room when it's done and when the 'mohel' does it, every guy in the room closes his eyes and winces. It's a joyous occasion for everyone except for the kid who gets a drop of wine on his tongue; I get the creeps thinking about it.
PaulComment
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Re: Joke of the Day
There are several medical reasons that may require the need for a circumcision as well. I know of a little boy who is now of the age of 3, originally left intact he was fine until near his 2nd birthday when he contracted a rather serious infection in that region... The only option that would have saved his genitals was a circumcision. Much more painful for him at the age of 2 where he is capable of communicating the pain he is feeling and will remember it a touch longer than a newborn infant. The fact there is a religious basis to some of them is merely an interesting quirk to why they are performed, and the people who have such an issue with it need to take a step back and analyze what it is exactly they're getting uppity about.
Is it their own? No. Will they be handling it? Not likely. Does it affect them in any way, shape, or form? Definitely not, unless it was done to them.
The only downside is that it's irreversible, otherwise there's nothing wrong with it and some people need to worry about what's in their own back yards rather than their neighbour's front...
Quoted for relevance.Cthulhu for president! Why settle for the lesser evil?Comment
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Re: Joke of the Day
Back to jokes!
The Air Canada plane leaves Pearson Airport under the control of a Jewish
captain; his co-pilot is Chinese.
It's the first time they've flown together and an awkward silence between
the two seems to indicate a mutual dislike.
Once they reach cruising altitude, the Jewish captain activates the
auto-pilot, leans back in his seat, and mutters,
'I don't like Chinese..'
'No rike Chinese?' asks the co-pilot, 'why not?'
'You people bombed Pearl Harbour, that's why!'
'No, no', the co-pilot protests, 'Chinese not bomb Peahl Hahbah!
That Japanese, not Chinese.'
'Japanese, Chinese, Vietnamese....doesn't matter, you're all alike!'
There's a few minutes of silence.
'I no rike Jews!' the co-pilot suddenly announces.
'Oh yeah, why not?' asks the captain.
'Jews sink Titanic!' says the co-pilot.
'What? You're insane! Jews didn't sink the Titanic!' exclaims the captain,
'It was an iceberg!'
Iceberg, Goldberg, Greenberg, Rosenberg,...no mattah...all the sameComment
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Re: Joke of the Day
A tourist couple are visiting Moscow with their russian guide Rudolph. They decide they want to visit Gorky Park, but Rudolph looks at the sky and tells them they can't as it will rain soon.
Sure enough a few hours later it starts to rain. Next day the couple want to go to Red Square, but again Rudolph looks at the sky and predicts rain. Sure enough an hour later it starts to pour down.
The next day the couple decide they want to go to the Moscow woods but again Rudolph looks at the sky and tells them it wil rain.
"It can't rain," complains the husband. "Look at the sky, there's not a cloud to be seen."
His wife remarks, "I think we'd better give the woods a miss today. By now we know that Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear."Comment
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Re: Joke of the Day
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$hit Happens - Deal with it and move on.....................................sigpic....................................Lock & LoadComment
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Re: Joke of the Day
Maybe old news, but surely this is a joke.
Westboro Baptist Church!!
Really??, I mean, really?I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work. ~Thomas EdisonComment
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