Joke of the Day

[NeoMatrix]

Re: Joke of the Day

:: Just Super Friends ::

The super friends where all having a big end of year celebration party.
There was Spiderman Batman,Robin, Wonderwomen Silversurfer, Invisibleman , Incredible Hulk ect, ect...

Well! the night moved on an every one had a bit to much to drink.
Superman was sitting in the corner becoming bored with himself so he started
to use his x-ray vision to look around inside the walls of the other rooms.
Well to his surprise he saw Wonderwoman completely naked and humping up and down by herself on a double bed.

Totally overwhelmed by this amazing spectical, Superman crashed through the wall and dove naked ontop of Wonderwomen in a final explosion of ecstacy. Well!! Superman finished the job and sat back on the bed looking at Wonderwoman with a content look on his face.

He finally leans over close to her and saids. "I better you got a wonderful surprise when you saw me come crashing into your party ?

Wonderwoman leans over and says --"Not half as surprised as the Invisible-man was..."

[Shadow]

Re: Joke of the Day

This pretty well sums it all up................ IT COULDN'T BE DESCRIBED BETTER. There's an annual contest at the Griffith University, Australia, calling for the most appropriate definition of a contemporary term. This year's term was 'political correctness '. The winning student wrote: "Political correctness is a doctrine, fostered by a delusional, illogical minority, and rapidly promoted by mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a piece of shit by the clean end."

[mrwho]

Re: Joke of the Day

This pretty well sums it all up................ IT COULDN'T BE DESCRIBED BETTER. There's an annual contest at the Griffith University, Australia, calling for the most appropriate definition of a contemporary term. This year's term was 'political correctness '. The winning student wrote: "Political correctness is a doctrine, fostered by a delusional, illogical minority, and rapidly promoted by mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a piece of shit by the clean end."

I'm so stealing this to my Facebook wall...

[HenryT2]

Re: Joke of the Day

Hillbilly Striptease

(Now don't make me come 'splain this to y'all now! Jest read the last line
agin, slowly...very slowly!!)

Typical Redneck Language .......
If anyone needs a translation , perhaps Shadow will help ...
Us RedNecks just laugh at the people who have not taken the time to learn southernism's .
I do know there are Northern ( a good friend of mine is an Electrical Engineer in New York, and is more Redneck than I am ) , Eastern, and Western Rednecks out there : But , We here in the South seem to be the ones singled out .

[Shadow1]

Re: Joke of the Day

"Political correctness is a doctrine, fostered by a delusional, illogical minority, and rapidly promoted by mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a piece of shit by the clean end."

Heard that about 2 years ago, except it was "...pick up a turd by the clean end."

But It's time to put it up on my facebook wall, too.

[mrwho]

Re: Joke of the Day

Heard that about 2 years ago, except it was "...pick up a turd by the clean end."

But It's time to put it up on my facebook wall, too.

It was the hardest sentence to translate to my language, but I think I managed to convey the idea.

[ZOOTECH]

Re: Joke of the Day

Typical Redneck Language .......
If anyone needs a translation , perhaps Shadow will help ...
Us RedNecks just laugh at the people who have not taken the time to learn southernism's .
I do know there are Northern ( a good friend of mine is an Electrical Engineer in New York, and is more Redneck than I am ) , Eastern, and Western Rednecks out there : But , We here in the South seem to be the ones singled out .

Time to bring back Redneck Medical Terms (from a CTN thread years ago):

Redneck Medical Terms

Benign - What you be, after you be eight.
Artery - The study of paintings
Bacteria - Back door to cafeteria
Barium - what doctors do when patients die
Cesarean section - a neighborhood in Rome
Cat scan - searching for kitty
Cauterize - made eye contact with her
Colic - a sheep dog
coma- a punctuation mark
D & C - Where Washington is
Dilate - to live long
Enema - Not a friend
Fester - quicker than someone else
Fibula - a small lie
Genital - a non-Jewish person
GI series - world series of military baseball
Hangnail - what you hang your coat on
Impotent - distinguished, well-known
Labor pain - getting hurt at work
medical staff - a doctor's cane
Morbid - a higher offer
Nitrates - cheaper than day rates
Node - I knew it
Outpatient - a person who has fainted
Pap Smear - A fatherhood test
Pelvis - second cousin to Elvis
Post Operative - a letter carrier
Recovery room - place to do upholstery
Rectum - darn near killed him
Secretion - hiding something
Seizure - a Roman emperor
Tablet - a small table
Terminal Illness - getting sick at the airport
Tumor - one plus one more
Urine - opposite of you're out
Varicose - nearby / close by

[JustManuals]

Re: Joke of the Day

For today's joke of the day........

http://fletchersite.com/

[NeoMatrix]

Re: Joke of the Day

For today's joke of the day........

http://fletchersite.com/

The above site certainly looks like the "Joke-of-the -day" at the moment. A few years from now might see it become useful.

[ZOOTECH]

Re: Joke of the Day

For today's joke of the day........

http://fletchersite.com/

"How Do Get To Use This Great Service?" above the click here to start. Has zaza branched out from repairs?

[jonezy999]

Re: Joke of the Day

A policeman is out riding his horse when he sees a young girl riding a new bike. He goes over to her and says "that's a very nice bike, did Santa get you that for Christmas?" The little girls nods her head and the policeman carries "well then, you should tell Santa that next year you need a reflector for the back of your bike" and hands the girl a $5 fine.
The girls asks "Did Santa give you your horse for Christmas?" Cop thought this was cute and replies "why yes he dd"
Little girls says "well you go and tell Santa that the dick is supposed to underneath the horse not on top of it."

[NeoMatrix]

Re: Joke of the Day

A policeman is out riding his horse when he sees a young girl riding a new bike. He goes over to her and says "that's a very nice bike, did Santa get you that for Christmas?" The little girls nods her head and the policeman carries "well then, you should tell Santa that next year you need a reflector for the back of your bike" and hands the girl a $5 fine.
The girls asks "Did Santa give you your horse for Christmas?" Cop thought this was cute and replies "why yes he dd"
Little girls says "well you go and tell Santa that the dick is supposed to underneath the horse not on top of it."

Yeah I read that one yesterday via social net...

[jonezy999]

Re: Joke of the Day

Yeah I read that one yesterday via social net...

Me too, was funnier yesterday too.

[ZOOTECH]

Re: Joke of the Day

A sportsman who lived in the city went to a hunting lodge and bagged a record number of birds, aided by a dog named Salesman. The next year, he returned and asked for Salesman.
"That hound ain't no good now", the handler said with disgust.
"What happened?", the sportsman asked. "Was he injured?"
"No," the handler replied. "Some idiot who had him for a week was so happy with him that he started calling him Sales Manager. Now all he does is sit on his tail and bark."

[Shadow1]

Re: Joke of the Day

Yep... It was a lot of work, but I finally got my shopping done, the gifts wrapped, and my Christmas tree put up...

Christmas tree.jpg

...It even smells like real pine!
Here's to a job well done... I'm exhausted - NAP TIME!