What's the most whack customer description???

[hachetman]

I had one that they could receive but not send. They had a dial tone, but it always disconnected after dialing. I plugged a phone into the line and got the same thing. I told her the problem was on the phone line, but she didn't believe me. She called the phone company while I was standing there. You should have seen the look on her face when the phone company told her the line had been disconnected for not paying the bill.

HaHa what a hoot!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[JVergin]

Risograph RZ series. Problem was "Masters coming out where paper should" cracked me up but it was actually true. master wasn't releasing from clamp plate and thus would just shoot the new master out into the exit tray.

It's not really a whacked customer description though it seemed like it before I got there and saw that they were correct.

[mjarbar]

One that came in today for a Canon iR2022:

"When copying the glass is moving and it's not very automatic"

If anyone has an idea what this is about - answers on a postcard to...

[skinnypuppy]

Lady: The copies have big blotches on them
Me: That is because your glass is dirty, would you like me to show you how to clean it
Lady: Yes sure
Me: Squirt Squirt wipe wipe
Lady ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGG ahhhhhhhhhhhhh what are you doing
Me: Cleaning the glass with windex
Lady: I have a migrane now I have to leave.
Me silently: you are giving me a migrane and I would like it if you left.

Two weeks later same customer
Some guy on phone: We have evacuated the office cause toner has spilled all over!!
Me: Well don't step in it
Some guy on phone: But its all over the place we are all going to die (slight exaggeration).
Me: Ok I will be right over to have a look
opon arrival: Office empty except for guy on phone pointing me to copy room Where a shop vac is sitting in the middle of the floor toner sprayed on every wall.
Me: Did it occur to you to turn it off.
Guy on phone: Sorry I am busy I am on the phone

[skinnypuppy]

Customer: Why does this machine only break down when you go to use it?

Me: You purchased the E.S.P. option.
Me: No really, wouldn't it be odd if it broke down when it wasn't in use?

[mascan42]

"This machine is always broken. We want a new one."
*Checks service history*
"This is only the second service call you've placed in the past year."
"OK. I'll call every week from now on until you replace it."

Grrrrrrrrr...

[D_L_P]

LMAO I've had that happen.

[Shano74]

Excuse me but can you tell me how long you gona be??

the machine is in pieces after they hurt a loud bang...and you just walked in...

[FMC]

Excuse me but can you tell me how long you gona be??

the machine is in pieces after they hurt a loud bang...and you just walked in...

Ahh, a timeless classic.I just look at them, say nothing and keep on fixing the thing

[gwaddle]

Customer said she was getting blank copies when using the doc feeder. Machine didn't have a doc feeder. She was feeding original into the bypass. The bad thing was she had worked with the same machine for at least 3 years.

[vincent64]

Most wack description of a service issue, go this one the other day, "lines on bottom, pushing glue out".
That is a copy and past right from the computer screen, we use remote tech BTW.

[drysuitdiver]

Best yet University Science Dept Physics Phd. calls in ranting and raving need service asap this (use your own explitive) machine is worthless want it replaced. Paper loaded in tray thre of Ricoh MP500 4 reams still in wrappers.

[D_L_P]

Had a customer call in 11:30 yesterday. I called them about 1:00 and they were ranting and raving about the copier being inoperative, jamming constantly, etc.... Were extremely upset that I was not going to be able to get to them before 5. Didn't like my suggestion of having maintenance bringing up the "back up" copier which we keep in their site for just such an emergency, in fact I think it made them even madder if that were possible. Anticipating a call to my boss I called him(I beat them to it by about 2 minutes), and explained how I had 2 other down copiers that came in before them, a C900 and a MP6001 (high volume color & b/w vs their 35 CPM b/w).
Went to the account 1st thing this morning only to have to wait for them to finish the huge copy job before I could even work on the copier.

[I3FusionGuy]

I actually laughed out loud today...

...on remotetech on my blackberry the exact problem text was: "printer is farting."

Something so silly caught me by suprise.

[TJ001]

Whack customer

I was based in Thabazimbi and gor a call from my office about a fax machine at one of the border posts that was'nt working. I drove the 550km to get there only to hear that their telephone cables was stolen. When i asked how they reported it their reply was their phones don't work so they radioed the problem to their HQ whom reported it. A total of 1100 km driven for nothing. Oh i forgot to mention the temp was about 48 degr celcius.