What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

[blackcat4866]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

So my enduser says: "We've had some squeaks lately. You come out and fix it, then it squeaks somewhere else."
"Yes."
"Why is that?"

"Well, there are a lot of small mechanical parts in a copier, and sometimes one of them rubs up against another, and it squeaks."
"How can we prevent that?"
"Prevent what?"

"Prevent squeaks."
"I don't think that you can. You wait until it squeaks, and then you address that squeak."
"We don't want it to squeak."

"I don't either. But there is no way to anticipate where the next squeak will be. You have to wait until it squeaks to find it." =^..^=

[rrrohan]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

Customer the other day removed the fuser instead of changing the toner and when I showed them toner live behind the front door they were like "ohhhh! I would never of found that"

Meanwhile copier screen is literally playing a animation advising you how to change toner...

Sent from my Pixel 4 XL using Tapatalk

[Bob Voigt]

Re: Sure...why not!

toying with you.

You are doing a major PM and the copier is completely gutted.

Customer walks up..."Could I make just one copy???????"

[tonerhead]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

Doozy of the day.


Customer stopped sending/receiving faxes this morning and calls in for service.

Me calling: I hear you can't send/receive faxes

Her: That's right, we are a nurses station and we need to fax

Me: Touch the off hook icon, do you hear a dial tone?

Her: No dial tone

Me: You need to have someone check your phone line

Her: Why? All of the other phones are working, but your fax isn't

Me: Just because the phones are working, doesn't mean your fax line is.

Her: I don't know why the fax wouldn't work if the phones are working, I need you to check out the fax.

One hour later I arrive and I plug my testset in, dead phone line.

I unplug the line from their deskphone and plug it into the fax with dial tone

Me: See you have dial tone if I plug in the desk phone line. I proceeded to fax to our office in front of her.

Her: Does this mean I have to call the phone company?

Me: yes it does, I can not fix your phone line

Her: Just leave it plugged into the one that works, we don't use that desk phone anyway

Me: you can likely send all day from fax, but it won't receive on this line as it is an extension, not direct out connection

Her: so you mean I have to call the phone company?

Me: YESSSS

Her: I just don't get it, all of the other phones work just fine

AND THIS WAS THE FRITTEN CHARGE NURSE!!!!!
I feel sorry for her patients.

[slimslob]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

I have to confess there was a time I was stumped on why I couldn't get a machine to fully power on. Learned it was one of those with a sub power and then another switch that apparently turns the screen on.

Other than that there were a few machines out there that for whatever reason wouldn't seem to come out of sleep mode without a full reboot. I never figured out what the cause of that was but a full reboot always fixed it.

Frequently a firmware problem. I have also seen problems when User time out, function time out and sleep time out were all set to the same length of time. Apparently sleep mode could not decide which one it needed to recover from first.

[kingpd@businessprints.net]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

I have to confess there was a time I was stumped on why I couldn't get a machine to fully power on. Learned it was one of those with a sub power and then another switch that apparently turns the screen on.

Other than that there were a few machines out there that for whatever reason wouldn't seem to come out of sleep mode without a full reboot. I never figured out what the cause of that was but a full reboot always fixed it.

I've lost count of the number of customers who seem amazed that there is a power switch

[mojorolla]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

Not a customer but a good one none the less.

Worked for a company years ago and the owners daughter was our dispatcher. She was a nice enough girl but not the sharpest knife in the drawer. I had to move my office across the hall from her after the first month to "keep an eye on her" as the owner put it. So I move up front, an office literally under the stairs...im 6'3' btw.

On the second day the fax machine rings as it normally does 100 times a day. But this time, a customer called the fax line by mistake and you could her saying "hello, hello !?" through the speaker.
Out of no where, this girl gets up, runs to the fax machine, leans over and starts screaming into the fax machine "MA'AM YOU HAVE TO CALL BACK AT THIS NUMBER!!!, HELLO, HELLO ???".

I never laughed so hard in my life and they decided to put her in charge of chasing meter reads shortly there after.

[tonerhead]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

My reply to customers who ask if I have fixed it properly - I say "No - Its job creation, if I fix it correctly the first time I would quickly be out of a job"

Similarly I have said "no I want to come back again right away so we can visit more"

[tsbservice]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

I recently walked into a church office. The secretary said "I think this copier is possessed". I told her "that sounds like more of a job for the pastor instead of me then"

Both had a good laugh over it.

Sounds like clean joke :cool.

[tonerhead]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

This is a little older, but I once had a customer trying to reach the sales rep about a copier he recently purchased. After a couple tries he contacted me to vent some. Then he said the obvious "I guess to get a salesman's attention you need to reach for their wallet"

Not a dumb comment at all

[tonerhead]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

I recently walked into a church office. The secretary said "I think this copier is possessed". I told her "that sounds like more of a job for the pastor instead of me then"

Both had a good laugh over it.

[dave w]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

My reply to customers who ask if I have fixed it properly - I say "No - Its job creation, if I fix it correctly the first time I would quickly be out of a job"

[rrrohan]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

If y'all don't mind, I'd like to enter my most recent dumbass customer candidate. This happened yesterday.


I get a call from this young lady at a car lot who informs me that she can no longer scan to her PC. So, I arrive at the car lot and she walks over to the copier to show me that she can no longer scan. I sit down at her PC and there's no scan folder. I also notice that there's a generic print driver installed.

I asked if anyone had been jacking around on this PC and they said no. Then someone spoke up and said that this was a new (used)computer that was installed a few weeks ago.


I simply don't have the patience that I once had. It's getting harder and harder to bite my tongue.


Peace out.

probaly why Konica Minolta has started putting the power button on the side instead

[BillyCarpenter]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

If y'all don't mind, I'd like to enter my most recent dumbass customer candidate. This happened yesterday.


I get a call from this young lady at a car lot who informs me that she can no longer scan to her PC. So, I arrive at the car lot and she walks over to the copier to show me that she can no longer scan. I sit down at her PC and there's no scan folder. I also notice that there's a generic print driver installed.

I asked if anyone had been jacking around on this PC and they said no. Then someone spoke up and said that this was a new (used)computer that was installed a few weeks ago.


I simply don't have the patience that I once had. It's getting harder and harder to bite my tongue.


Peace out.

[Debs1964]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

Customer: We just had someone go back into our office and he wants to use the copier, but it won't turn on. He checked the circuit breaker for the outlet, and the cord is plugged in, but when he presses the button on the control panel it won't come on.
Me: Is the power switch behind the front panel in the on position?
Customer: There's a power switch?

I've lost count of the number of customers who seem amazed that there is a power switch