What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

[kingarthur]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

not so much a dumb question, but a dumb action, customer logs a call in the afternoon, "can't print to device, have tried more than 1 pc so it has to be the copier", pop in next morning as passing & it's printing..... another call logged just after lunch today, same thing, I had to go & look at another of theirs so looked at this at same time, went to "devices & printers" it's greyed out, check network port, no lights flashing, trace network cable to source, it's in a wireless router....no lights on the router, it's plugged in to an extension lead....no lights on the extension lead....check mains socket....it's turned off... apparently the person who sits there finishes at 1 and switches everything off....

[mrwho]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

When the customer rides your ass because "you don't calibrate the machine often enough" but keeps printing the jobs with the fiery option "colorwise off" because "the colors come out more natural"...

[KipCody]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

A customer once asked me why their paper was so sharp and why they kept getting paper cuts from it.....

[Ben Franklin]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

Customer puts a black and white photo on the glass of a color copier and asks why the resulting print hasn't been made color.

[blackcat4866]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

I think that my co-worker won't mind my sharing this story:

He was out on a bizhub 754e/FS-534 that has a long history of J72-17 and J72-19 jams, but they were never reproducible. I had been there on a few occasions, but this was his turn.

As luck would have it the enduser with the problem showed up at his elbow asking about that terrible jamming problem (that noone else has ever experienced). She explained that she gets this cardstock (the famous "cardstock"). By appearances it's about 300gsm. It might surprise you that the enduser is a teacher. The conversation goes something like this:

Enduser: "So I take this cardstock. It comes as 9" x 24", so I cut it exactly in half to get two pieces 8 1/2" x 11" letter.
Tech: "You do?"
Enduser: "Yes."
Tech: "See my ruler here ... this paper is 9" x 12".
Enduser: (confused) That can't be. I cut it in half."
Tech: "Yes, half of 24" is 12". And you don't cut the other dimension, so that's 9" x 12".
Enduser: (still confused)
Tech: So when you program the tray as 8 1/2" x 11" these little guides here in the finisher automatically adjust to 8 1/2" wide, 1/2" narrower than your 9" paper. So you can do one of two things: 1) you can cut the paper smaller to 8 1/2" x 11", or 2) you can program the tray to a custom paper size 9" x 12". Either one will work.

I hope she wasn't a math teacher. =^..^=

[Lagonda]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

and the Samsuck website was a PIA.... 6 different screens before you could even start placing a claim.. and yes we had repairs refused also

And it hasn't got any better now that HP are running their copier division. The shittiest website I've ever had to deal with, no service manuals, parts manuals only show a 3rd of the parts and torturous path to try to order any. Which they don't have in stock anyway.

[Phil B.]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

We also used to be a Samsung dealer until they sent us several warranty claims and then refused to pay. The worst was probably the printer we had repaired and because of the poor design the part failed again [paper exit sensor right above the fuser] after providing on-site service at their request and resolving the issue they informed us they would not pay the warranty claim because we had replaced the same part within the last six months and that it should have been a shop repair and not an on site repair! The worst company we have ever dealt with! No wonder they had to sell the printer business!

and the Samsuck website was a PIA.... 6 different screens before you could even start placing a claim.. and yes we had repairs refused also

[Santander]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

When I was doing Samsung warranty we discovered that Samsung buyers were notoriously cheap, and untruthful. Often the printer came in without any toner cartridge or paper tray or cord. I then created a checklist that required the customers signoff. Included toner?, Paper Tray?, Cord?, CD's?. A few customers had claimed that we'd stolen their paper tray or toner cartridge ... until they found it when they got home. Then we had to add a place for the Samsung Hotline ticket number. If the customer didn't make the call to confirm warranty, then I'd have to spend the 45minutes confirming warranty coverage. Then we had to throw on a $50 deposit to cover diagnosis for those customers who lied about calling, or lied about coverage, or lied about printing gloss inkjet paper even when it was still jammed in the machine.

In the end it just wasn't worth the hassle. =^..^=

We also used to be a Samsung dealer until they sent us several warranty claims and then refused to pay. The worst was probably the printer we had repaired and because of the poor design the part failed again [paper exit sensor right above the fuser] after providing on-site service at their request and resolving the issue they informed us they would not pay the warranty claim because we had replaced the same part within the last six months and that it should have been a shop repair and not an on site repair! The worst company we have ever dealt with! No wonder they had to sell the printer business!

[roho]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

Once had a group of engineers decide to make a 11x17 transparency from unknown material. Took out a fuser at their cost.

[roho]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

[QUOTE=Phil B.;583243]dontcha just love when a customer drops of a printer for eval/service.... you go to test it ( It's not printing is the issue ) you fire the puppy up and first thing is says " out of black ink ... please replace black ink " you call the customer and they say " oh yeah we knew that! " damn how are you supposed to service it if you have no ink for it.
Told the customer ok we will buy some for me to test it... " Are we going to have to PAY for that ink!?"


I'm thinking " NO TWIT.. we love buying ink for you dumb asses!"[/QUOTE
Whenever I get faced with this situation I ask the customer how they would expect their car to be fixed if it had no gas. Usually shuts them up.

[woko]

[Phil B.]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

And I thought it was because you were pleased to see me!

always

[Lagonda]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

yup that's why my pistol is in my holster in my waist band!

And I thought it was because you were pleased to see me!

[Phil B.]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

well it's not a customer but, My company recycles toner carts for just about every model. During the pickup of empties some of our customers ( even tho they have been told not to ) put toner bottles and waste tanks from copiers into the recycle bins for us to pick up.
So when they come back to the shop, we dispose of them in the dumpsters. Well some hoodlums from a trailer park behind us thru the woods, have decided it would be fun to retrieve them and empty them all over our parking lot and into the nearby woods.
After a few time of having to clean up after them the boss got a camera and pointed it towards the dumpster. The boys were caught on video and the LEOs were called. They found the boys and went to their parents about it... one of the mothers had denied that her son was involved, but when the officer pointed out that " there is magenta toner set into the fabric of the shirt your son is wearing", she tried to blame my company for it.. until he showed the video of her son climbing outta the dumpster and flinging all around.
They were then handed a bill for the cleanup of said toner!

Ya can't fix stupid!

[gneebore]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

I can't say it's the dumbest but it was pretty funny. I went to a job that was supposed to be "waste toner full", customer (engineer by the way) took the waste toner bottle out of the machine (sharp 2610) and shook it to try and alleviate the problem. Waste toner went everywhere including all over the machine and now the lsu glass is causing issues and the fuser is probably going to need rebuilt amongst any more fun crap I find inside the machine.

Never really had any that got that bad with spilling the waste toner. But there were a few environmentalist types that insisted they could pout all that perfectly good toner back into an empty supply bottle and reuse it. That stuff could really mess with the developer/toner mix. I don't remember but on one of the analog Mita machines there may have also been a bad developer toner mixture code it would throw.