What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

[Phil B.]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

When I was doing Samsung warranty we discovered that Samsung buyers were notoriously cheap, and untruthful. Often the printer came in without any toner cartridge or paper tray or cord. I then created a checklist that required the customers signoff. Included toner?, Paper Tray?, Cord?, CD's?. A few customers had claimed that we'd stolen their paper tray or toner cartridge ... until they found it when they got home. Then we had to add a place for the Samsung Hotline ticket number. If the customer didn't make the call to confirm warranty, then I'd have to spend the 45minutes confirming warranty coverage. Then we had to throw on a $50 deposit to cover diagnosis for those customers who lied about calling, or lied about coverage, or lied about printing gloss inkjet paper even when it was still jammed in the machine.

In the end it just wasn't worth the hassle. =^..^=

I was sooooo glad when the boss decided to drop Samsucks.... they really were a POS and NOW besides Xerox , HP is using the engines... I HOPE they re-engineer the fusers at least!

[Phil B.]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

I can't say it's the dumbest but it was pretty funny. I went to a job that was supposed to be "waste toner full", customer (engineer by the way) took the waste toner bottle out of the machine (sharp 2610) and shook it to try and alleviate the problem. Waste toner went everywhere including all over the machine and now the lsu glass is causing issues and the fuser is probably going to need rebuilt amongst any more fun crap I find inside the machine.

as the old TV show phrase puts it " sock it to 'em! "

[Phil B.]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

Had quite a few that claimed the warranty covered the aftermarket toners because the box said it was for XYZ copiers. Actually had a copy of the warranty that said "warranty void for use of non-OEM toners" and had to show a whole bunch of people that nice phrase. One got so irate and loud the secretary actually threatened to call the police to get rid of them.

yup that's why my pistol is in my holster in my waist band!

[Ratchet2501]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

I can't say it's the dumbest but it was pretty funny. I went to a job that was supposed to be "waste toner full", customer (engineer by the way) took the waste toner bottle out of the machine (sharp 2610) and shook it to try and alleviate the problem. Waste toner went everywhere including all over the machine and now the lsu glass is causing issues and the fuser is probably going to need rebuilt amongst any more fun crap I find inside the machine.

[gneebore]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

When I was doing Samsung warranty we discovered that Samsung buyers were notoriously cheap, and untruthful. Often the printer came in without any toner cartridge or paper tray or cord. I then created a checklist that required the customers signoff. Included toner?, Paper Tray?, Cord?, CD's?. A few customers had claimed that we'd stolen their paper tray or toner cartridge ... until they found it when they got home. Then we had to add a place for the Samsung Hotline ticket number. If the customer didn't make the call to confirm warranty, then I'd have to spend the 45minutes confirming warranty coverage. Then we had to throw on a $50 deposit to cover diagnosis for those customers who lied about calling, or lied about coverage, or lied about printing gloss inkjet paper even when it was still jammed in the machine.

In the end it just wasn't worth the hassle. =^..^=

If I wasn't there the owner or the secretary had to sign the machines in. We did note on the paperwork if they did not bring the cord in or if the paper tray was not included. We all checked when the machine was put on the cart to roll it in if it had a toner. If it didn't the machine went right back into the car or truck with the explanation we do not provide free toner to work on their machine they had to bring it in before we looked at it. Get the phone call because of a supposed missing cord a few times and you start writing that stuff down.


We were also a dealer for three lines of portable typewriters and would provide warranty coverage only for the ones we sold. Of course our ad in the yellow pages listed us as a dealer for them. Lots of fun when the customer could go a few miles away from our shop and buy the same machine for 25 dollars less. The fun part was we got at least one customer a month asking why we charged the extra 25 dollars more than the big box store down the street. They never seemed to understand the other place did not have a trained service tech and did not provide or stock replacement parts. Then we would call the 800 number of the manufacturer of the machine and let them explain to the customer why we were not allowed to fix a machine under warranty that we did not sell. Got to the point we stopped selling two of the typewriters and concentrated on machines not available through big box stores or full fledged office typewriters.

[blackcat4866]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

We were a warranty repair center for desktops of a certain brand. Had quite a few that would bring their copiers in for warranty repair that had the cheapest mail order cartridges they could find. Can not count the number of times I took the cheap one out put a spare OEM toner in and it worked fine. Put their toner back in and lousy copies. And of course more than half the time got the "well why can't you fix it to work with my toner". Had quite a few that claimed the warranty covered the aftermarket toners because the box said it was for XYZ copiers. Actually had a copy of the warranty that said "warranty void for use of non-OEM toners" and had to show a whole bunch of people that nice phrase. One got so irate and loud the secretary actually threatened to call the police to get rid of them.

When I was doing Samsung warranty we discovered that Samsung buyers were notoriously cheap, and untruthful. Often the printer came in without any toner cartridge or paper tray or cord. I then created a checklist that required the customers signoff. Included toner?, Paper Tray?, Cord?, CD's?. A few customers had claimed that we'd stolen their paper tray or toner cartridge ... until they found it when they got home. Then we had to add a place for the Samsung Hotline ticket number. If the customer didn't make the call to confirm warranty, then I'd have to spend the 45minutes confirming warranty coverage. Then we had to throw on a $50 deposit to cover diagnosis for those customers who lied about calling, or lied about coverage, or lied about printing gloss inkjet paper even when it was still jammed in the machine.

In the end it just wasn't worth the hassle. =^..^=

[gneebore]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

dontcha just love when a customer drops of a printer for eval/service.... you go to test it ( It's not printing is the issue ) you fire the puppy up and first thing is says " out of black ink ... please replace black ink " you call the customer and they say " oh yeah we knew that! " damn how are you supposed to service it if you have no ink for it.
Told the customer ok we will buy some for me to test it... " Are we going to have to PAY for that ink!?"


I'm thinking " NO TWIT.. we love buying ink for you dumb asses!"

We were a warranty repair center for desktops of a certain brand. Had quite a few that would bring their copiers in for warranty repair that had the cheapest mail order cartridges they could find. Can not count the number of times I took the cheap one out put a spare OEM toner in and it worked fine. Put their toner back in and lousy copies. And of course more than half the time got the "well why can't you fix it to work with my toner". Had quite a few that claimed the warranty covered the aftermarket toners because the box said it was for XYZ copiers. Actually had a copy of the warranty that said "warranty void for use of non-OEM toners" and had to show a whole bunch of people that nice phrase. One got so irate and loud the secretary actually threatened to call the police to get rid of them.

[gneebore]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

This is why I hate AIO cartidges so much. And that stupid chip system. I'd rather a machine with a proper toner end sensor and toner bottles that only have toner in them. Just run the bottle till it's dry then put in a new one. Saves so much money. But so many people LOVE those little desktops that run on those damn AIOs. Because everyone wants their own printer.

It's kind of funny but towards the end of my career some companies were actually getting rid of desktop laser printers and switching to the networked copier/printer and larger high speed laser printers. The copiers can in some instances be set to not print out any print jobs until you enter your code from the control panel. One hospital office required that feature because of privacy laws. In one instance a large law firm also told me their electric bill went down when they switched to three high speed network printers instead of twenty lasers printers, one on each desk. They actually also put the printers in a common area next to the copier. One of the secretaries also mentioned it was o much quicker and easier to print out three or four copies all at once and go get the job without then needing to use the copier. They did keep the copier because of the scanning function and other needs. One other benefit mentioned. The high speed printers had a better per page price so their toner costs went down too.

[sturmtrooper]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

This reminded me of a requirement the federal paper saving technique. Went on a service call a couple years ago. I was looking at a copier next to three HP printer, Networked and shared to reduce energy use, three printers running is better than forty. Plus they had every computer print driver set to automatically duplex all print jobs. While I was there I watched as at least ten single paged documents had the first side printed and then watched as the duplex mechanism printed a blank second side. I explained to the guy that they were wasting a heck of a lot of toner and putting an extra service load on the machines. He replied that the orders came down that printing on one side was wasting too much paper going into the shredders and then a landfill. So someone figured out that all the pc print drivers could be set to default to always duplex. He did not know that the toner cartridges had chips that counted the number of pages printed and then would call for a replacement after a certain number were printed. So they were getting at the rate I saw single sided letters being printed about a third less use out of their toners than they should. And the type of toner they used in printer cartridges was not recyclable. Plus toner cost a heck of a lot more than paper. Went back to deliver supplies for the copier a few weeks later and the person I explained it to told me he called a supervisor. Who then told him the policy was set by Washington and could not be changed. They were doing it to "Save the forestry resources" Funny thing was i had to look at what they were printing because once it was printed someone inevitably came to the printers. Picked up their printed pages and then ran them through the copier to make copies to distribute as proof that they sent the information along and have a hard copy on file in case the hard drive failed and the letters were lost.

This is why I hate AIO cartidges so much. And that stupid chip system. I'd rather a machine with a proper toner end sensor and toner bottles that only have toner in them. Just run the bottle till it's dry then put in a new one. Saves so much money. But so many people LOVE those little desktops that run on those damn AIOs. Because everyone wants their own printer.

[jmaister]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

I heard from a colleague...

somebody asked him if the cassettes can have names in the print driver...




too many things wrong with that question and apparently came from an IT.

[George J]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

Waaay back, in the 90's i worked at a Ministry here in Holland, desktopside PC support. Then they decided to give everyone Emai... Now that would be progression, ppl could mail their reports, others could comment and mail it back ! We had to stop them or they would have taken the copiers away the same day ! The first to have a paperless office !

Reality : they printed a lot more....

"Oh, important info in his mail, I should not forget this !" [PRINT]
"Let's read this report during my coffeebreak..." [PRINT]
"Oh, funny. my colleage should see this ! [PRINT]


I don't think they where quite ready for it...

I've seen government departments were for years to standard operating procedure for mail was:

1) Print mail and dump print into large 'in' tray
2) Somebody tried to figure out who would be most likely to respond to the printed mail
3) Send print via internal mail system to recipient.
4) Recipient would type out an answer and print it and send it back via the internal mail.
5) Somebody would read the print and type it word by word into a reply mail

Needless to say, the average response time for a simple mail was between 3 - 6 weeks.

[gneebore]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

I think at one point most of us have had that question, also the question of converting a bw printer into a color one, as if it is a Lego set or something. I still like the one post at the start of this thread, asking if there was a model that used less paper. I also remember 2K, and the terror everyone had of tech failure, and having to show a government IT fellow how these stand alone analog machines wouldn't zilch upon the date change.

Another customer called complaining the device was turning the originals black. Upon arrival I found the platen cover missing and the user was feeding the original through the bypass and feeding it through the machine. That one was chargeable as well!

Want to hear a really stupid Y2k story. Well here goes. Back then I worked in a three person shop. Me, the owner, and a secretary. We actually had service calls called in to certify IBM selectric typewrites as Y2K compliant. Most of them would accept a phone assurance that nothing was going to mess with their typewriters on Jan 01 ,2000. However there were actually some government offices that required in writing a bill documenting a physical inspection of the equipment as proof that they were complying with the standards to comply with ALL aspects and models of office equipment being certified as being able to operate in the year 2000. I actually had to add a manual typewriter to one bill because the office manager wanted to show the regional manager how silly he was insisting on all equipment in use being Y2k compliant.

Oh yeah the manual typewriter was used in a secure environment and occasionally outside a secure environment in the US. Because the Soviets managed to figure out how to "bug" IBM selectrics.

Here's a link to how it was actually done. Selectric bug

[gneebore]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

In most parts of the world they print most things in duplex. They also use single space printing and keep the margins as narrow as they can. Some countries even require it. But even where it is required, the MFP and printers are allowed to be set to ignore a blank back page, i.e. if a print job is an odd number of pages it will not duplex the paper to print a blank page. If the HP printers cannot be set to ignore blank pages, it might save them money and reduce the landfill stream if they replace them with units that can. Toner cartridges that have to be replaced due to page count but still have toner remaining to me are a greater environmental hazard going to landfills than shredded paper. Also shredded paper can be recycled into new paper.

Kind of what I tried to make clear was the problem with the toners. But someone at head quarters decided the problem was wasting paper and thinning old growth forests to make paper. Never mind the fact that the wood used to make paper is harvested from tree farms for the most part. Yes I know there are places where natural forests are being decimated to make way for farms and agriculture and cities. They also seemed to miss the concept of page counts were how the machine service cycle was checked. So if one out of eight pages is a blank sides duplex they are losing nearly 15 percent of the service life of the printer and toner usage. Which I pointed out was actually happened while we were standing there talking.

This place was where the drivers were not local, but were installed on a remote server. And the people in charge of the servers and printers wanted a plain simple easy to use interface that was one size fits all. None of the click here if printing only a one sided document, Problem with ignoring blank pages is usually software driven. I have seen some programs that have the "ignore blank pages when printing." But you have to select that option when printing and that is almost always a local printer driver and not a driver on a print server. Can't really say if I have set up a printer to ignore the blank page print jobs. But then I worked mainly on copiers and occasionally on printers.

[roho]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

I had a customer ask if I could speed up the copier as it was too slow for him.

I think at one point most of us have had that question, also the question of converting a bw printer into a color one, as if it is a Lego set or something. I still like the one post at the start of this thread, asking if there was a model that used less paper. I also remember 2K, and the terror everyone had of tech failure, and having to show a government IT fellow how these stand alone analog machines wouldn't zilch upon the date change.

Another customer called complaining the device was turning the originals black. Upon arrival I found the platen cover missing and the user was feeding the original through the bypass and feeding it through the machine. That one was chargeable as well!

[slimslob]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

This reminded me of a requirement the federal paper saving technique. Went on a service call a couple years ago. I was looking at a copier next to three HP printer, Networked and shared to reduce energy use, three printers running is better than forty. Plus they had every computer print driver set to automatically duplex all print jobs. While I was there I watched as at least ten single paged documents had the first side printed and then watched as the duplex mechanism printed a blank second side. I explained to the guy that they were wasting a heck of a lot of toner and putting an extra service load on the machines. He replied that the orders came down that printing on one side was wasting too much paper going into the shredders and then a landfill. So someone figured out that all the pc print drivers could be set to default to always duplex. He did not know that the toner cartridges had chips that counted the number of pages printed and then would call for a replacement after a certain number were printed. So they were getting at the rate I saw single sided letters being printed about a third less use out of their toners than they should. And the type of toner they used in printer cartridges was not recyclable. Plus toner cost a heck of a lot more than paper. Went back to deliver supplies for the copier a few weeks later and the person I explained it to told me he called a supervisor. Who then told him the policy was set by Washington and could not be changed. They were doing it to "Save the forestry resources" Funny thing was i had to look at what they were printing because once it was printed someone inevitably came to the printers. Picked up their printed pages and then ran them through the copier to make copies to distribute as proof that they sent the information along and have a hard copy on file in case the hard drive failed and the letters were lost.

In most parts of the world they print most things in duplex. They also use single space printing and keep the margins as narrow as they can. Some countries even require it. But even where it is required, the MFP and printers are allowed to be set to ignore a blank back page, i.e. if a print job is an odd number of pages it will not duplex the paper to print a blank page. If the HP printers cannot be set to ignore blank pages, it might save them money and reduce the landfill stream if they replace them with units that can. Toner cartridges that have to be replaced due to page count but still have toner remaining to me are a greater environmental hazard going to landfills than shredded paper. Also shredded paper can be recycled into new paper.