What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

[gneebore]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

Customer placed a service call saying no one could print. When I get there I find they all had new computers. Told her I would need to reinstall the print drivers. Computers were all locked down to the point where it was asking for an administrator password to add a printer. I told her she would have to contact her IT for the password. And she said I don't understand why you don't know the password to install the printer, it is your printer isn't it? I said you need the computer password, there is no way I would know the password to your BRAND NEW computers. She got frustrated and asked me to leave. Didn't even leave the parking lot when my boss called and said the customer just called him and told him I was very rude and not at all helpful.

Very long time ago when typewriters could be installed as printers we sold a new electronic typewriter to a company. I went and installed it. Took the manufacturers write protected disk out of the box with the typewriter. Got the (this is how long ago flashback) parallel cable hooked up and put the driver disk in to set up the drivers. Pc does not read disk. I pulled it out and 1/4 inch of dust is on the disk, 5 1/4 floppy btw. Cleaned it off and reinserted the disk and finally the pc read the disk and installed the drivers. However I did notice a weird noise from the hard drive when it was copying the drivers, and when the user pulled up a file to print on the typewriter. I put it on the delivery ticket that they needed their computer tech to check the pc for possible hard drive problems. I made them initial that line on the ticket. Three months later they called and demanded we pay for a new hard drive since I was the last person who installed anything on it and their computer tech (contractor) said it had to be my fault. We refused and they threatened to sue us. Had to point out they were warned to have their computer tech check the hard drive three months ago. Had to have someone from the manufacturer of the typewriter explain their software was certified virus free which is why the drivers were on a write protected disk and there was no known virus that would cause a hard drive to fail to be listed in the bios, like theirs was. It was an equipment failure. We lost a customer over that. And we quit installing printer drivers after that. It was hand the disks over and have the customer do the installation while I watched. Explained it as simply teaching them how to do it on other pc's if they needed to upgrade their computer or swap the typewriter/printer to a different office.

[fixthecopier]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

We have this customer that is a psyc office. At one point they hired an office manager who was a complete bitch. She wrote a bad online review of our company over some minor bullshit, I think it was over paying overage charges one month. The owner caved and ate the charges but she refused to remove the review. Months later I am delivering toner. The machine is waiting on the black so I installed it. The bitch calls the shop raising hell because when I installed the toner, I somehow caused all of their computers to drop off the network. When I went back a few months later, she had been fired, the girls in the office apologized and removed the bad review.

[kingarthur]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

Had a customer complain that her new bizhub was printing too dark & wanted it lightened, I went around to see her, and said I thought it was perfect, she replied, that her old m/c printed everything in a fuzzy grey and that's what they wanted with their new m/c....

[Setright]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

Having installed a new high-volume digital printer....to replace an older version from a competing brand:

Client, printing on 350gram/m2: "The paper is very warm when it leaves the machine."

Me: "Yes, that's how we fuse toner to the paper, and 350gram/m2 means surface temperature around 200, so that will feel warm."

Client: The old machine didn't heat the paper.

[nottoosharp]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

The stupidest things ever said by customers:
Me: Did someone take out the fuser? ( holding broken fuser)
Them: no, I don't think anyone here is smart enough to do that.


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[mrwho]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

Just yesterday after repairing the fuser of a MP301 and while testing the machine out while on the company of a customer's employee, another one comes I don't know from where and tells that because I was working on the machine all printers disappeared from his computer.

Fortunately the girl accompanying me was computer literate and told him that wasn't possible.

[TheBlueOrleans]

Re: What is the dumbest customer comment/question you've heard?

User sees me replacing the CCDB.
Question: "Oh. ... Can I print something?"

Answer: "You certainly may, and when I get the machine back up and running I'll hand it to you."
That happened this morning. CCDB didn't fix the problem anyway. I'm going to blame RightFax.

[cyph0r26]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

I would have stuck my meter leads into vents in the back of the machine and made my meter beep a little, then tell her the best I could do 3/4 impulse. Warp engines are offline and it will cost $250.00 to repair the warp coils.

Sometimes you have to ride a joke if there is someone else around to get a great laugh.
You will get a supporter forever.
Obviously I am a Trekker. There are many of us out there.

I'm givin' her all she's got, Captain!!

[sturmtrooper]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

Plastic surgery and weight loss can fix ugly, but nothing can fix stupid.

Some people are ugly on the outside, and some are ugly on the inside.

[fixthecopier]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

Customer placed a service call saying no one could print. When I get there I find they all had new computers. Told her I would need to reinstall the print drivers. Computers were all locked down to the point where it was asking for an administrator password to add a printer. I told her she would have to contact her IT for the password. And she said I don't understand why you don't know the password to install the printer, it is your printer isn't it? I said you need the computer password, there is no way I would know the password to your BRAND NEW computers. She got frustrated and asked me to leave. Didn't even leave the parking lot when my boss called and said the customer just called him and told him I was very rude and not at all helpful.

Plastic surgery and weight loss can fix ugly, but nothing can fix stupid.

[Heleric]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

Customer placed a service call saying no one could print. When I get there I find they all had new computers. Told her I would need to reinstall the print drivers. Computers were all locked down to the point where it was asking for an administrator password to add a printer. I told her she would have to contact her IT for the password. And she said I don't understand why you don't know the password to install the printer, it is your printer isn't it? I said you need the computer password, there is no way I would know the password to your BRAND NEW computers. She got frustrated and asked me to leave. Didn't even leave the parking lot when my boss called and said the customer just called him and told him I was very rude and not at all helpful.

[fixthecopier]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

When it comes to staplers, customers seem to assume that they take the regular staples they use in their desk top stapler. I once went to a call on a Bizhub 350 for stapler not working. They had removed and tossed the cartridge from the machine and laid a piece of the staple ream from a plain old stapler in the open cavity where the cartridge used to be. Just laid it in there like this was a Jetsons cartoon and a little pair of robot arms was going to come out and load them somewhere.

[sturmtrooper]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

Heh, was there a wastebasket within two or three steps of the machine? That's usually the case here.

There wasn't one nearby quite that close. When I was done I asked the secretary if they had reloaded the stapler recently and she said they had, and had dropped some but thought they got them all.

Now of course if she had told me this to start with I could have saved a good 30+ minutes of diagnosis.

[Iowatech]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

I was working on a copier machine, I have taken out the pcu, leaving all the doors open, then someone approach me asking if she can photocopy.

Heh, classic.
I've probably shared this before here (sorry), but one time I had just got a machine I was working on fully reassembled and was about to turn it on when a guy came up and asked if he could make copies. I told him "No, because the machine is off.". He got the weirdest look on his face and went away. I actually felt bad about that for a while.

[gear13z]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

I was working on a copier machine, I have taken out the pcu, leaving all the doors open, then someone approach me asking if she can photocopy.