What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

[Firthy]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

Me: "I'll have to get some parts for the machine. I will be back tomorrow"
Customer: "yeah but is it fixed?"
Me: "No, that is what the parts are for"

Its the simple ones that really get to me

[roho]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

A few days ago they tell me that the printer makes noise.


Upon arrival I find that it is the fault of the office heating system.

Once had a customer complaining that our machine was making him ill. It was only a month old and was placed in a "new" location. Turned out the old, yellowed fax machine that was still there and in use, was venting it's exhaust right onto the new devices delivery tray and up at his face. He never did figure out that the exhaust bothering him was happening as the old clunker's fan came on, could not miss that noise! He was a engineer as well, figures.

[Bix]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

A few days ago they tell me that the printer makes noise.


Upon arrival I find that it is the fault of the office heating system.

[larweedad]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

Can I insert this Bluetooth usb into my copier usb port and scan stuff to my computer into a folder? (On a copier that does not support bluetooth.)

[Bix]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

Today was a quiet day until I received this call.


The customer calls my manager:
- Customer: Since your technician has repaired the printer, my computer no longer works.
- Responsible: But did my technician get the computer?
- Client: No, but computers are connected to the network so something did.


Needless to try to understand what he meant. I go there and find out that the screen is off.


The customer justifies himself that he has never turned off the screen and does not understand how it could have happened.

[Bix]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

Here in Germany there are small cities that are not very developed and the fax is already science fiction.


A small family company purchases a computer from us, necessary considering the digital age. The owner assured me that she had taken a course on PCs, so I didn't have to worry about explaining how it worked.


A few days later he calls me, accusing me of selling him a faulty keyboard. A led burned out after a few days of use.


I then discovered that he used the uppercase key.

[ignacio.cortez]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

A mac reservation is the best practice right now for sure. However the time savings from IT is minimal. I still consider best practice and most secure is to use static ips for all fixed equipment (copiers and desktops) and only allow dhcp for visiting laptops. In-company laptops connect using mac reservations for dhcp. One company I know of is printing through hostname. They just let copier dhcp. Of course all workers bitch that printing is slow. But what do you expect?

AND REMEMBER .......WSD is our friend, we charge $20 each to fix WSD ports through our helpdesk. Thank you Microsoft.

The company I work at now, user PullPrint with Prox Cards (Secure printing (end user prints to a single pullprint queue then walks up to any mfp device and ligns in (taps the employee badge) selects the print job and releases it to the printer for immediate printing) back end needs a little work, but all and all its pretty straight forward

[FrohnB]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?


Had something similar with my "big screen" projector t.v. Except the spider in mine was not swinging back and forth on it's web. Instead, it was sprawled out on one of the lamps, and when I turned the T.V. on, there was this big Projection of A spider on the screen. Freaked me out! Lamps must've warmed up enough that he moved out of the way. I decided to disassemble and clean the lamps and such (it was time), and never did find that little bastard.

[KenB]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

Back in the early 90’s, a friend of mine was a television service tech. He worked on a lot of so-called “big screen” TVs, which were nothing more than a small TV built into a large box with a projector. Remember those?

He had a call for a black spot which would move fairly quickly from one side of the screen to the other, in a sweeping motion.

The problem? There was a spider inside the box, doing his best Tarzan imitation, happily swinging from branch to branch, casting a shadow while doing his thing.

We still chuckle about it when reminiscing today.

[gneebore]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

I found a mouse running around in a scanner assmy once.
Randomly would produce ' a rat ' on the copy..
Got there shoooo nuff little bugger was scurrying around inside still!

Sent from my SM-G960U using Tapatalk

Wasn't my call but one of the other techs went out on a call because of random black streaks. He got there and no problem. But he also heard something scratching under the base plate of thew scanner. He had to take the whole scanner apart to get to the problem. Seems there was a mouse under the base plate between the upper scanner lamps and the optics going to the drum. The mouse was injured and was able to move a little bit. More than likely it was moving or rolling into the path of the optics and causing the shadows/streaks in the image path under the base plate. It was an older analog copier with the base plate between the upper and lower optics sections.

[Phil B.]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

Had a real similar problem a long time ago with a Canon pc6RE. Customer called and complained there were random dark streaks on the copies. I went three times and everything worked fine. Even though she saved the samples could not find anything wrong in the machine. Then one day I was fortunately two blocks away when the office got me on my cell phone and asked me to stop by there right away as fast as I could. I did and immediately made a copy and there was the black band. Funny though it was two inches closer to the edge of the page than the sample she showed me. I opened the copier took the drum unit out to see if there were any bits of debris in the main charge area . But as I was pulling the drum until out I noticed a bit of movement in the transfer corona assembly. Yeap there was a roach in the bottom of the assembly and there were a few more that escaped when I lifted the machine off of the table top. I used my hemostats to remove the stil living roach and put everything back together. the customer immediately called the building managed and demanded they send out the pest control people again.

I found a mouse running around in a scanner assmy once.
Randomly would produce ' a rat ' on the copy..
Got there shoooo nuff little bugger was scurrying around inside still!

Sent from my SM-G960U using Tapatalk

[gneebore]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

Good Size Physical therapy Chain of Hospitals,

I was called in to a NEW site, End users complain that the Brand New printer is leaving White bands Leading edge to trailing edge, Device, got to site, shook the toner cartridge multiple times, printed about 150 pages, no white bands, closed call. Next day, end user calls again, getting dinged for callback, make it out to customer site and end user again is complaining of the same thing, inquired end user if they have a backup cartridge, they do, open brand new cartridge, still sealed, installed it and ran 200 pages, no white banding, towards the end of the day, I get the message that the issue is happening again. I ordered a replacement toner cartridge next day rush. Make it to customer site as soon as they open, walk in and begin troubleshooting, again, (still with the cartridge installed the day before, after 50+ pages, I start noticing that the white banding is moving, some times it shows on one spot next few pages its in a different spot, and so forth, I take the cartridge, flip it looking for a stuck piece of paper, no paper visible, optics are cleaned, issue remains, I execute a Cleaning cycle, then pulled toner cartridge out, flip it and open the drum flap, Lo-and-behold, half of a cockroach is sticking out between the drum and the plastic guide, juicy too, I show the end user (The branch's CEO) that there is nothing wrong with the printer, they just happen to have a cockroach infestation. Changed the call to T&M and charged them $300 for my time.

Had a real similar problem a long time ago with a Canon pc6RE. Customer called and complained there were random dark streaks on the copies. I went three times and everything worked fine. Even though she saved the samples could not find anything wrong in the machine. Then one day I was fortunately two blocks away when the office got me on my cell phone and asked me to stop by there right away as fast as I could. I did and immediately made a copy and there was the black band. Funny though it was two inches closer to the edge of the page than the sample she showed me. I opened the copier took the drum unit out to see if there were any bits of debris in the main charge area . But as I was pulling the drum until out I noticed a bit of movement in the transfer corona assembly. Yeap there was a roach in the bottom of the assembly and there were a few more that escaped when I lifted the machine off of the table top. I used my hemostats to remove the stil living roach and put everything back together. the customer immediately called the building managed and demanded they send out the pest control people again.

[tonerhead]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?


A mac reservation is the best practice right now for sure. However the time savings from IT is minimal. I still consider best practice and most secure is to use static ips for all fixed equipment (copiers and desktops) and only allow dhcp for visiting laptops. In-company laptops connect using mac reservations for dhcp. One company I know of is printing through hostname. They just let copier dhcp. Of course all workers bitch that printing is slow. But what do you expect?

AND REMEMBER .......WSD is our friend, we charge $20 each to fix WSD ports through our helpdesk. Thank you Microsoft.

[ignacio.cortez]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

Good Size Physical therapy Chain of Hospitals,

I was called in to a NEW site, End users complain that the Brand New printer is leaving White bands Leading edge to trailing edge, Device, got to site, shook the toner cartridge multiple times, printed about 150 pages, no white bands, closed call. Next day, end user calls again, getting dinged for callback, make it out to customer site and end user again is complaining of the same thing, inquired end user if they have a backup cartridge, they do, open brand new cartridge, still sealed, installed it and ran 200 pages, no white banding, towards the end of the day, I get the message that the issue is happening again. I ordered a replacement toner cartridge next day rush. Make it to customer site as soon as they open, walk in and begin troubleshooting, again, (still with the cartridge installed the day before, after 50+ pages, I start noticing that the white banding is moving, some times it shows on one spot next few pages its in a different spot, and so forth, I take the cartridge, flip it looking for a stuck piece of paper, no paper visible, optics are cleaned, issue remains, I execute a Cleaning cycle, then pulled toner cartridge out, flip it and open the drum flap, Lo-and-behold, half of a cockroach is sticking out between the drum and the plastic guide, juicy too, I show the end user (The branch's CEO) that there is nothing wrong with the printer, they just happen to have a cockroach infestation. Changed the call to T&M and charged them $300 for my time.

[ignacio.cortez]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

Customer called to complain what her computer was not working... (YES NYC Customers) after spending a good 15 min trying switches and checking plugs I was setting up to go to the customers location. As I was saying goodbye I notice a tone in the background (weak but solid). I thankfully asked what that sound was... was told that it was her battery backup. Huh? "Linda, How long has the battery backup been going off?" her responce "since about 9:00 this morning, they had to turn off the electric to fix the wireing" (STOP - IT'S TRUE! I have over 40 years computer/printer experance and over 20 of it in NYC). "Linda, the electric is off, the computer will not work". "But I have a battery backup - my computer should work" Just to let you know the backup was a APC-450 running a computer and crt monitor (15 min tops?). Was told I was a liar and wanted to talk to my manager.
To her credit (and I was shocked at the end) she asked to talk to me after talking to my manager. Linda _ apologize to me. I said no problem and told me to call me when the electric came back on. Manager gived me a weird look and I just smile and went back to work.
{let me know if you want more..after 40+ years... I have a lot of stories}

Just started a new job a couple of months ago, about a week or 2 ago, I got an email from one of the branches (I don't do hands on, on this particular job, but I have quite a few years experience, I actually manage the company's fleet) The tech on the branch told me that they were on a conference call with the Network team, the Electricians and Other Technical people for the best part of the week attempting to figure out why, when the printer started printing, it will kill the whole Stack (of switches), it was a Friday afternoon, I was about to go home, but she stated she was going to come in on Sunday and try to troubleshoot/Monitor to see if she could find a pattern (She told me the Copier/MFP was in the Switch Closet), told her, make sure you do not have the printer/mfp connected to the UPS (and explained to her why its not recommended to have the MFP/Printer connected to a UPS), Monday morning, she sends me a ecstatic message stating that I was a genius, because all her "experts" were not able to figure that out and in 30 seconds to a minute I had fixed her problem.