What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

[mrwho]

Oh, I'm not, believe me.

Looks like you got lucky (or better, that your customer got lucky) that the paper never made it to the drum - My customers who do that usually end up paying for a new drum or getting a personalized stamp on their copies until the drum reaches the end of life.

[jamesyboy]

while passing througth the office one day I was asked before I left to phone a customer with an i.t. issue
so I did! asked this lady a few qusetions and decided to talk her throutgh a few steps big mistake

first step;me;" are you sitting in front of youre pc madam can you see my computer?"
; customer : "are you trying o be funny how the hell do you exspect me to see youre computer down the phone line!!!!"
me:" ok well send someone around later today thanks for youre patience bye"

[D_L_P]

Had a good one today for a MFP at a bank that couldn't fax.
Me: Hello, this is Dave from _____ and I got a call on your ir2270.

Customer:Yes, the fax part is not working. This is the second time this month it has stopped working. We really need to get it fixed.

Me: Yes I remember now, I was the one out last time. It was actually a problem with the phone line not the copier (there is construction going on the street in front of the building). The security system and the credit card machine stopped working too. Can you check for a dial tone or see if the other equipment is working?

Customer:Well, no they stopped working too, but we need to get our fax going.

Me: Ah, that's your problem the phone line isn't working.

Customer:So can you fix it?

Me:No, you need to call the phone company.

Customer:But it's our fax that isn't working.

Me:Without a working phone line the fax can't do anything. I can check it out once they get the phone line going if you want.

Customer:So we will be without a fax today?

Me:That depends on how soon they can get the phone line going.

Customer:Well you had better speak to our manager about this.

Me:uh...OK.

Customer:Wait, she is out to lunch right now.

Me:Well I can call back in an hour.

Customer:OK....Oh, wait our main phone line isn't working, she will have to call you back.

Me:OK, or I could just call this number again.

At least the manager was nice when I talked to her. She remembered about the construction and the phone line and said it wouldn't be necessary for me to come out.

[Stirton.M]

D_L_P, your post is virtually identical to a call I actually had this morning, with the exception that the problem was related to the power.

And no, its not one of those "power out on the whole block or building" kind of thing. It was the outlet. Oddly enough, the outlet was shared between a C450, a small cheap shredder and a mail stamp machine and radio. I went to the call to find the machine was definitely down. The customer in a panic, really needing to get a quote out but the "fax" machine (C450 with fax option) was not working. She casually mentioned that her radio wasn't working either as I was toggling the power switch on the copier. I stopped, looked at the other devices, noted they were not powered as well....

She said she checked the breaker.

She likely had.

But not the right one.

[Andy6096]

Gotta love the smart ones

My manager and I trained a secretary how to use her new machine one day. She watched as we used two one sided originals to make a double sided copy. She looked at us after it was completed and said it hadn't worked. We both looked at each other and said together, yes it did. She then took both originals from the document feeder and said; "see it didn't duplex!" I calmly and without saying a word reached into the inner tray underneath and pulled out the two sided copy, showed it to her and left the room before I nearly died laughing. My manager simply explained to her again while I waited in the vehicle.

[Stirton.M]

Andy, that reminded me of a current radio commercial.

Two guys talking, one explains the great deal he got from the tire guys, he bought 3, got one free.
The second guy..."come again?".
First guy..."I bought three tires and they gave me one free."
Second guy "You lost me.."
First guy..."buy 3"
Second guy..."OK so far"
First guy..."get one free"
Second guy..."what if I needed 4 tires?"
First guy..."let's start again..."

the rest of the commercial kinda goes that way....

[KenB]

D_L_P, your post is virtually identical to a call I actually had this morning, with the exception that the problem was related to the power.

And no, its not one of those "power out on the whole block or building" kind of thing. It was the outlet. Oddly enough, the outlet was shared between a C450, a small cheap shredder and a mail stamp machine and radio. I went to the call to find the machine was definitely down. The customer in a panic, really needing to get a quote out but the "fax" machine (C450 with fax option) was not working. She casually mentioned that her radio wasn't working either as I was toggling the power switch on the copier. I stopped, looked at the other devices, noted they were not powered as well....

She said she checked the breaker.

She likely had.

But not the right one.

Years ago I was a fax tech, and I had two calls within about a six week span at the same account for their Canon fax being dead.

Both times, the power plug had been VERY noticeably bumped almost completely out of the wall outlet.

Ironically enough, it was at a local power substation office.

Even worse, it's just under a mile from my house.

[jamesyboy]

Allways love" youre not the normal engineer!"

I may be a bit alternative but am I jibbering and dribbling spit down my face NO!

always makes me feel like offering reply but bite ones lip !!!

[All Rounder]

Client calls,"the machine is dead"
me:"m'am, is the power switched on"
Client:"DO YOU THINK I'M AN IDIOT?"

Drive there only to find out the customer is an idiot!THE ENTIRE BUILDING HAD AN POWER FAILURE!!!!!!!

[Stirton.M]

Client calls,"the machine is dead"
me:"m'am, is the power switched on"
Client:"DO YOU THINK I'M AN IDIOT?"

Drive there only to find out the customer is an idiot!THE ENTIRE BUILDING HAD AN POWER FAILURE!!!!!!!

It seems that many people out there have lost the ability to be observant to detail.

It's really disturbing.

[jamesyboy]

while picking up some boards from the office an irrate worshop manager was somewhat struggling to fix a small machine he turned around and said to a young girl working with us at the time go get me a phillips screw driver she went into the sales florr and asked a sales guy named phillip can roger borrow youre screwdriver phill said aint got one she returned to the workshop and announced phillip hasnt got a screw driver

Classic blonde !!!!

[hammer]

The Ricoh FT4015 had a small front door that you would normally close with one hand - generally your right hand. However, the door interlock switch was on the left side, and a lot of times this wouldn't engage resulting in the customer ringing to say her machine was dead. Normally a phone call would sort it out. We rang this girl and asked her to open and close the door as if she was changing toner. This didn't solve the problem so an engineer went out. When he got there, he opened and closed the door and it worked! "Oh" says the girl, " I opened that door over there". She had opened and closed the door to the room where she kept her toner!!!

[kingarthur]

This wasn't a customer it was my wife !!!! I got a phone call saying she had just bought a new kettle & could i fit a bigger socket as the plug was too big for the old socket!!!, i explained that all sockets are the same size & that the plug must fit, after a couple of minutes i asked what colour the prongs were on the plug & what they are made of, she replied a sort of white plastic. I explained to her she had to remove the plastic protector from the prongs before she could plug it in !!!!!!

[prntrfxr]

This wasn't a customer it was my wife !!!! I got a phone call saying she had just bought a new kettle & could i fit a bigger socket as the plug was too big for the old socket!!!, i explained that all sockets are the same size & that the plug must fit, after a couple of minutes i asked what colour the prongs were on the plug & what they are made of, she replied a sort of white plastic. I explained to her she had to remove the plastic protector from the prongs before she could plug it in !!!!!!

I'm probably going to get in trouble for saying this, but I don't understand why techs marry girls who can't manage simple things like this. I know I'm more technically inclined then most women, but some things are obvious. At the first company I worked at, my service manager's girlfriend called the office in hysterics (he was on a call). The toilet was overflowing and she didn't know what to do. I told her to look behind the toilet for the cut-off. She was in tears and kept asking me if it was going to be ok. I told her to flush it and she was relieved when the water didn't come up. I told her I'd tell him so he could fix it when he got home. It just seemed to me that when water is running you should turn it off. What's so difficult about that?

[mrwho]

Well, you're not the regular girl then, are you? And the reason why most techs don't marry more knowledgeable girls is because the more knowledgeable girls know enough to find a better man!