What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

[mrwho]

The girl that works in one of our copy shops calls me to tell me that the CDROM drive on her pc jams. Since I double as IT guy, I find a new CDROM drive and I go to the copy shop. When I arrive I ask her to show me the problem. 'So the drive only opens half way, look!' She pushes the button, drive opens and smacks against the edge of the desk. I move the PC a little bit and I ask her to try again. 'Oh it works now!'

Priceless!

[aab1]

Not really copier related but I sell a computer program I made and had one user that got a strange problem. I asked her to take a screen shot of the error she was getting. She replied "I can't take a screen shot because my printer is out of ink"

One frequent stupid question I get is if my software keeps working when the computer is off.

[aab1]

Something else, the other day my uncle was over and looking at my Canon copier, he looks at the four cartridges (black, cyan, magenta, yellow) and says "It only has black, cyan, magenta and yellow, so how can it print in color?"

[mrwho]

Something else, the other day my uncle was over and looking at my Canon copier, he looks at the four cartridges (black, cyan, magenta, yellow) and says "It only has black, cyan, magenta and yellow, so how can it print in color?"

It just goes to prove that Darwin was right.

[aab1]

I've had a giggle reading through these, and some of them are sooooooo familiar.
My favourite was probably over 20 years ago in a local hospital. I got called in to this small desktop analogue Xerox machine (I think it was a 1012) for copy quality, there was no-one around and the copies were perfect. I gave it a service as I was there, but there was no difference in the CQ, I was just about to leave when the doctor who had placed the call came in and asked if I had seen the fault, I told him that I couldn't find a problem with it. He went to the machine and moved the copy darker/copy lighter sliding control all the way to the left, he told me that when it was in this position the copies were too light, then he moved it all the way to the right, and told me that when it was in this position they were too dark. I looked at him, moved the slider to the middle and asked him what it was like in this position, he looked up and said "Oh, they're all right when it's there"...our lives are in his hands!!!!!

That helps to understand why the treatments doctors give and prescribe their patients are the #1 cause of death, more than cancer or heart disease.

[Jett]

OK, so here are 2 stories I got.

First is from the regional KM tech guy we work with.
A copy shop was reported to the consumer protection because they "refused to print white" on color paper.
When the CP official went to the scene the owner tried to explain that the request was impossible to begin with and when the owner tried to question the officials knowledge about basic laser printing technology, he shrugged it off with "I don't need to know this".
So it got to the point where the owner told the official that for one part that he can take over the business if he's a know-all for the other part the CP office will be sued out out of the Universe )
Eventually the problem was settled without a fine, so happy end.

The other one is from a parter who we got a B/W copier.
My colleagues installed it at the office and the first question was how does it make color copies.
So they replied "You buy the three color toners, mix it together and insert it. It should give some color to the B/W copies."

[kronical]

During Limerick Day, I came up with the following, you might enjoy.

There once was a copier that broke,
The solution to which was a joke.
So with a big grin,
I plugged the thing in,
And then I went out for a smoke.

That day I had a customer in education call in with an issue. Knowing that she would appreciate the humor in it, told her the limerick. The next day, I get called out on the same machine "Won't turn on."
I went out and she happened to be away from her desk when I got there. I went back, plugged it in, and left. On my way out I ran into her on her way back to the office and she asked if I got it fixed and what the problem was. I promptly replied "Now I'm going for my smoke" - She turned beet red.

[huntergazz]

got a call from a customer to report that the fax was not recieving...... sent a test fax to them and she sent it back all ok... the next day she calls back with the same fault, but she explains that it is faxes that are sent outwith office hours she is not recieving.

Yes you guessed it, the machine was switched off overnight.

Her comment was "You mean that copier has to be turned on to recieve faxes??!!"

[mjarbar]

When asking where a copier was jamming I got the reply "Downstairs"!!!!!

[traxdc]

not a customer question as such but interesting all the same.

in my early years as a technician i was called to panasonic FP7313 copier at a training center for teenagers. on arrival i found a rather embarresed 16 year old with her bum in the air, face on the glass and her hair tightly wrapped around the hot roller. on closer inspection and trying to hide my amusement i discovered that i could not free her from the fuser without cutting her hair (which was quite long and BLONDE) so out came the large paper scissors and i started cutting. unfortunatley for her i am not a competant hair stylyst, but i may have started a new trend of hair down to below her sholder on one side and hair cut above the ear on the other side.

she wasn't laughing when she saw her new hairstyle or the bill.

[traxdc]

thats a good one, it makes a change from pop tarts

[traxdc]

those copiers are nasty, we still have a couple out there unfortunatley

[j morton]

Auto Doc Feeder

This is going back quite a long time; but it is very memorable. A customer called in to complain that the copier's auto doc feeder was "taking" their originals. I knew the account well, it was a Canon NP2020 with a flat top (no doc feeder). I phoned them up and they explained the following: "We put our originals in the right side of the machine and we get a copy out; but, we don't know what happens to the original." So, they fed their original into the stack bypass (this machine pulled from the bypass without having to press start) and they received their original on the receiving tray.

[blackcat4866]

**snicker**

=^..^=

[hypertech]

Cant remember the model but had a customer ask me a while back if i can send the machine back to japan to change the specifications to allow 350gsm paper..... I spent about 20mins in the car laughing to myself..