What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

[slimslob]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

After reading this thread while having lunch I decided to add my little bit of weird customer logic. We sold a few years ago a CS 4035. The machine was set up by the company's own It dept not me. After two weeks we got a service call, "not printing from several pc's" I get there and the supposed computer newtork guru tried to tell me there was something wrong with the copier. He could get it to print from 12 of the 15 computers in the office. But not from the three at the front desk. And all I got from the computer genius when I asked "If it works from these 12 what makes you think the copier is at fault with the other three computers?", was a dumb look. And a "I know computers and there is nothing wrong with the network so it has to be your copier" I immediately called the office manager over and explained there was nothing for me to do. Their contract did not cover network diagnostics. And as far as I was concerned if it did work with most of the computers there was obviously a problem with the network. As an added bonus while the manager was standing there watching I disconnected their network cable and ran a crossover cable from my laptop and printed in three minutes. Computer guru continued to insist it was the copier. I turned to the manager and asked if they would pay for me to trouble shoot the network and she said yes. Found the problem was the network guru had added a spare router instead of a switch box. So the three pc while able to access email etc were unable to access the printserver which was rejecting print jobs from out of range ip addresses.

You can use a router in place of a switch. Do not connect anything to the WAN connector. Login to the router with your laptop and turn off DHCP. The LAN ports now become a usable switch. Obviously their IT person did not know how to do this.

[Lagonda]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

......... And all I got from the computer genius when I asked "If it works from these 12 what makes you think the copier is at fault with the other three computers?", was a dumb look. And a "I know computers and there is nothing wrong with the network so it has to be your copier".......Computer guru continued to insist it was the copier. I turned to the manager and asked if they would pay for me to trouble shoot the network and she said yes. Found the problem was the network guru had added a spare router instead of a switch box........

And if there was any justice in this world the cost of your labor should have been deducted from his next pay packet.

[gneebore]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

After reading this thread while having lunch I decided to add my little bit of weird customer logic. We sold a few years ago a CS 4035. The machine was set up by the company's own It dept not me. After two weeks we got a service call, "not printing from several pc's" I get there and the supposed computer newtork guru tried to tell me there was something wrong with the copier. He could get it to print from 12 of the 15 computers in the office. But not from the three at the front desk. And all I got from the computer genius when I asked "If it works from these 12 what makes you think the copier is at fault with the other three computers?", was a dumb look. And a "I know computers and there is nothing wrong with the network so it has to be your copier" I immediately called the office manager over and explained there was nothing for me to do. Their contract did not cover network diagnostics. And as far as I was concerned if it did work with most of the computers there was obviously a problem with the network. As an added bonus while the manager was standing there watching I disconnected their network cable and ran a crossover cable from my laptop and printed in three minutes. Computer guru continued to insist it was the copier. I turned to the manager and asked if they would pay for me to trouble shoot the network and she said yes. Found the problem was the network guru had added a spare router instead of a switch box. So the three pc while able to access email etc were unable to access the printserver which was rejecting print jobs from out of range ip addresses.

[Iowatech]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

Today I was at a machine for jamming out of tray 1, first thing I did was remove 5 sheets of severely dog-eared pages from the bottom of the tray, and ran almost a hundred pages with no jams. The woman INSISTED that the paper was not the issue. I am weary of trying to reason with people, so I made a show of cleaning rollers and paper path, told her the machine was all set. My heart just aint in it any more.

I posted a funny in the "Funny Joke of the Day" thread recently that was similar to this.
Sometimes the customer won't let you avoid wasting their time, and yours also.
(The Secret)

[slimslob]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

Not exactly compliant with the theme here, but close:

From the service history of 1 coin op machine in a public library, 3 different calls-

72 pennies in coin acceptor
15 pennies, bent quarter, Canadian quarter, dime, and nickel jammed in coin acceptor
business cards inserted into bill acceptor

Today I was at a machine for jamming out of tray 1, first thing I did was remove 5 sheets of severely dog-eared pages from the bottom of the tray, and ran almost a hundred pages with no jams. The woman INSISTED that the paper was not the issue. I am weary of trying to reason with people, so I made a show of cleaning rollers and paper path, told her the machine was all set. My heart just aint in it any more.

Five sheets of paper with corners bent over are enough to cause the machine to lift the paper ready sensor before the paper contacts the pickup roller.

[blackcat4866]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

I could not imagine putting a coin-op under contract. That's a losing deal.

You aren't kidding! I was carrying operation panel assemblies, at the time only $300, installing at least one a week on each machine. How much do you bill per click for a michine that gets less than 1000 copies between control panels? =^..^=

[theengel]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

I could not imagine putting a coin-op under contract. That's a losing deal.

[blackcat4866]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

Not exactly compliant with the theme here, but close:

From the service history of 1 coin op machine in a public library, 3 different calls-

72 pennies in coin acceptor
15 pennies, bent quarter, Canadian quarter, dime, and nickel jammed in coin acceptor
business cards inserted into bill acceptor

Today I was at a machine for jamming out of tray 1, first thing I did was remove 5 sheets of severely dog-eared pages from the bottom of the tray, and ran almost a hundred pages with no jams. The woman INSISTED that the paper was not the issue. I am weary of trying to reason with people, so I made a show of cleaning rollers and paper path, told her the machine was all set. My heart just aint in it any more.

There for a while we had Canon coinop machines at this grocery store chain. I never knew what I was going to find.

1) coins shoved in every seam of the operation panel, and in the bypass tray
2) the machine is sitting in an entryway with 4" of snow, and the doors opening and closing 20 times per minute. The temperature varied from 30F to 50F, depending on which door was open. Also damage to the covers from getting slammed with grocery carts.
3) calls for folded paper, too much paper, odd sized paper, no paper, snow covered paper ... did I miss anything?
4) damaged operation panels, nearly every call. At one location, there was a person who would punch holes through the operation panel sticker with a pen.

They insisted that it was not misuse. =^..^=

[racefreak]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

On a KM C7000, the customer called because she was having trouble printing flesh tones. I arrived to find red construction paper in the machine. When I told her she needed to use white paper, she asked why can't we put in white toner. I opened the toner door asked her where to put it. She said " do we just take one out and replace it with white?" I then opened the paper tray and said "There". She looked at me rather dumb and said "Do we just sprinkle it in?" I wanted so bad to take away her machine. She was clearly too dumb to own it.

[KapeKopyTek]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

Not exactly compliant with the theme here, but close:

From the service history of 1 coin op machine in a public library, 3 different calls-

72 pennies in coin acceptor
15 pennies, bent quarter, Canadian quarter, dime, and nickel jammed in coin acceptor
business cards inserted into bill acceptor

Today I was at a machine for jamming out of tray 1, first thing I did was remove 5 sheets of severely dog-eared pages from the bottom of the tray, and ran almost a hundred pages with no jams. The woman INSISTED that the paper was not the issue. I am weary of trying to reason with people, so I made a show of cleaning rollers and paper path, told her the machine was all set. My heart just aint in it any more.

[justanotherhack]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

One of my associates was called out to a DUPLEX jamming problem, and when he asked the customer to demonstrate the issue, the guy pulled out some transparencies...

[Kurtillton]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

When i work on PC repairs a woman caled me over asking for a baby screen, i asked what she ment

Her: well my screen keeps getting taller, so can i have a baby screen

I laugh and walk off, turns out her friend was adjusting the screen every other day and told her it hit puberty and was having growth spurters.

[iliketui]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

You mean "Sort By Date"...

Name/date/size.... Whatever he chooses

[chrisban35]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

I went to a customer one day for problems scanning (scan to folder).

I sent a test to each of the users in the address book (about 6) then checked the scan history and saw nothing but completed.

Went over to the user having the problem and asked them to show me the destination folder that the scans end up in. He said it goes to the top when he receives them and opened the document at the top of the list and said " see its not there".

I asked him to open the document at the bottom of the list and sure enough there it was. I hope he now remembers how to sort by name.

You mean "Sort By Date"...

[iliketui]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

I went to a customer one day for problems scanning (scan to folder).

I sent a test to each of the users in the address book (about 6) then checked the scan history and saw nothing but completed.

Went over to the user having the problem and asked them to show me the destination folder that the scans end up in. He said it goes to the top when he receives them and opened the document at the top of the list and said " see its not there".

I asked him to open the document at the bottom of the list and sure enough there it was. I hope he now remembers how to sort by name.