What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

[blackcat4866]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

I could not imagine putting a coin-op under contract. That's a losing deal.

You aren't kidding! I was carrying operation panel assemblies, at the time only $300, installing at least one a week on each machine. How much do you bill per click for a michine that gets less than 1000 copies between control panels? =^..^=

[slimslob]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

Not exactly compliant with the theme here, but close:

From the service history of 1 coin op machine in a public library, 3 different calls-

72 pennies in coin acceptor
15 pennies, bent quarter, Canadian quarter, dime, and nickel jammed in coin acceptor
business cards inserted into bill acceptor

Today I was at a machine for jamming out of tray 1, first thing I did was remove 5 sheets of severely dog-eared pages from the bottom of the tray, and ran almost a hundred pages with no jams. The woman INSISTED that the paper was not the issue. I am weary of trying to reason with people, so I made a show of cleaning rollers and paper path, told her the machine was all set. My heart just aint in it any more.

Five sheets of paper with corners bent over are enough to cause the machine to lift the paper ready sensor before the paper contacts the pickup roller.

[Iowatech]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

Today I was at a machine for jamming out of tray 1, first thing I did was remove 5 sheets of severely dog-eared pages from the bottom of the tray, and ran almost a hundred pages with no jams. The woman INSISTED that the paper was not the issue. I am weary of trying to reason with people, so I made a show of cleaning rollers and paper path, told her the machine was all set. My heart just aint in it any more.

I posted a funny in the "Funny Joke of the Day" thread recently that was similar to this.
Sometimes the customer won't let you avoid wasting their time, and yours also.
(The Secret)

[gneebore]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

After reading this thread while having lunch I decided to add my little bit of weird customer logic. We sold a few years ago a CS 4035. The machine was set up by the company's own It dept not me. After two weeks we got a service call, "not printing from several pc's" I get there and the supposed computer newtork guru tried to tell me there was something wrong with the copier. He could get it to print from 12 of the 15 computers in the office. But not from the three at the front desk. And all I got from the computer genius when I asked "If it works from these 12 what makes you think the copier is at fault with the other three computers?", was a dumb look. And a "I know computers and there is nothing wrong with the network so it has to be your copier" I immediately called the office manager over and explained there was nothing for me to do. Their contract did not cover network diagnostics. And as far as I was concerned if it did work with most of the computers there was obviously a problem with the network. As an added bonus while the manager was standing there watching I disconnected their network cable and ran a crossover cable from my laptop and printed in three minutes. Computer guru continued to insist it was the copier. I turned to the manager and asked if they would pay for me to trouble shoot the network and she said yes. Found the problem was the network guru had added a spare router instead of a switch box. So the three pc while able to access email etc were unable to access the printserver which was rejecting print jobs from out of range ip addresses.

[Lagonda]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

......... And all I got from the computer genius when I asked "If it works from these 12 what makes you think the copier is at fault with the other three computers?", was a dumb look. And a "I know computers and there is nothing wrong with the network so it has to be your copier".......Computer guru continued to insist it was the copier. I turned to the manager and asked if they would pay for me to trouble shoot the network and she said yes. Found the problem was the network guru had added a spare router instead of a switch box........

And if there was any justice in this world the cost of your labor should have been deducted from his next pay packet.

[slimslob]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

After reading this thread while having lunch I decided to add my little bit of weird customer logic. We sold a few years ago a CS 4035. The machine was set up by the company's own It dept not me. After two weeks we got a service call, "not printing from several pc's" I get there and the supposed computer newtork guru tried to tell me there was something wrong with the copier. He could get it to print from 12 of the 15 computers in the office. But not from the three at the front desk. And all I got from the computer genius when I asked "If it works from these 12 what makes you think the copier is at fault with the other three computers?", was a dumb look. And a "I know computers and there is nothing wrong with the network so it has to be your copier" I immediately called the office manager over and explained there was nothing for me to do. Their contract did not cover network diagnostics. And as far as I was concerned if it did work with most of the computers there was obviously a problem with the network. As an added bonus while the manager was standing there watching I disconnected their network cable and ran a crossover cable from my laptop and printed in three minutes. Computer guru continued to insist it was the copier. I turned to the manager and asked if they would pay for me to trouble shoot the network and she said yes. Found the problem was the network guru had added a spare router instead of a switch box. So the three pc while able to access email etc were unable to access the printserver which was rejecting print jobs from out of range ip addresses.

You can use a router in place of a switch. Do not connect anything to the WAN connector. Login to the router with your laptop and turn off DHCP. The LAN ports now become a usable switch. Obviously their IT person did not know how to do this.

[Exok]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

Not copier related but... In my teens I worked in a fried chicken fast food restaurant. We sold the usual: buckets of fried chicken, hot wings, BBQ ribs, fish & chips.

One day this guy walks up to the counter and says, "Excuse me, excuse me, them wings, is they beef or pork?"

Now I'm sure he meant to ask about the ribs and not the wings but everyone behind the counter started rolling on the floor laughing so hard that the guy turned red and just walked out the door.

[blsquires]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

i went to a school as they had a jam and couldnt find it so they had turned the machine off and on and got a 0000 code .i checked the machine over and it had a jam in the sorter which wasnt visible so i started to strip the sorter down .at last i saw what looked like a piece of paper using my long nose pliers i managed to remove two a4 sheets stapled together .i got the administrater and showed her what i had found and she got the teacher who had caused the jam.
this is where it gets good.i asked her why she had put two sheets of paper stapled together in the machine .she wanted to add some thing onto the originals so she used the bypass.wait for it .she then said she had told the machine it had a staple so i asked her where .she showed me on the touch screen where she had told the machine it had a staple at the top left corner .

[fixthecopier]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

i went to a school as they had a jam and couldnt find it so they had turned the machine off and on and got a 0000 code .i checked the machine over and it had a jam in the sorter which wasnt visible so i started to strip the sorter down .at last i saw what looked like a piece of paper using my long nose pliers i managed to remove two a4 sheets stapled together .i got the administrater and showed her what i had found and she got the teacher who had caused the jam.
this is where it gets good.i asked her why she had put two sheets of paper stapled together in the machine .she wanted to add some thing onto the originals so she used the bypass.wait for it .she then said she had told the machine it had a staple so i asked her where .she showed me on the touch screen where she had told the machine it had a staple at the top left corner .

With educators like that, we should all be able to ride this copy thing out til we get too old. That whole paperless society thing, not very likely in the near future.

[Lagonda]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

.........One day this guy walks up to the counter and says, "Excuse me, excuse me, them wings, is they beef or pork?"...........

Pork of course! we get a lot of flying pigs around this place.

[theengel]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

With educators like that, we should all be able to ride this copy thing out til we get too old. That whole paperless society thing, not very likely in the near future.

So I'm wondering... how do you staple the paperless documents?

[emujo]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

HI went to a KFC a few years back, stepped up to the counter and asked for a bucket of chicken...The young lady looked at me like I had 3 eyes, and said "we don't have buckets, and I've never heard of a bucket of chicken"...So I sang the (what I could remember) "have a bucket of chicken"....song. No help, she's still arguing that they don't sell buckets of chicken...so I asked her to please step outside, and when she did I pointed to the "HUGE REVOLVING BUCKET OF CHICKEN on the sign out front, and said, "you don't sell those"????. At this point the manager came out and said the employee was new and KFC had stopped selling buckets since before she was hired so she could be forgiven for her ignorance. I did get a good size "Box" of chicken on the house for my trouble though. Emujo

[DavePo]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

HI went to a KFC a few years back, stepped up to the counter and asked for a bucket of chicken...The young lady looked at me like I had 3 eyes, and said "we don't have buckets, and I've never heard of a bucket of chicken"...So I sang the (what I could remember) "have a bucket of chicken"....song. No help, she's still arguing that they don't sell buckets of chicken...so I asked her to please step outside, and when she did I pointed to the "HUGE REVOLVING BUCKET OF CHICKEN on the sign out front, and said, "you don't sell those"????. At this point the manager came out and said the employee was new and KFC had stopped selling buckets since before she was hired so she could be forgiven for her ignorance. I did get a good size "Box" of chicken on the house for my trouble though. Emujo

Just saw a commercial for KFC this weekend. It had a Colonel Sanders character and they where referring to themselves as Kentucky Fried Chicken. Haven't seen them called that in years. Maybe they will bring back buckets also.

[fixthecopier]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

Yesterday, one of our guys was at a new customer to set up their scan on a new MP301. He looks at the machine and sees only a fax line. He then informs them that they need a network line to pull this off. The guy thinks for a minute, then ask "Does it need to be permanent"

[gwaddle]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

HI went to a KFC a few years back, stepped up to the counter and asked for a bucket of chicken...The young lady looked at me like I had 3 eyes, and said "we don't have buckets, and I've never heard of a bucket of chicken"...So I sang the (what I could remember) "have a bucket of chicken"....song. No help, she's still arguing that they don't sell buckets of chicken...so I asked her to please step outside, and when she did I pointed to the "HUGE REVOLVING BUCKET OF CHICKEN on the sign out front, and said, "you don't sell those"????. At this point the manager came out and said the employee was new and KFC had stopped selling buckets since before she was hired so she could be forgiven for her ignorance. I did get a good size "Box" of chicken on the house for my trouble though. Emujo

Our KFC has buckets.