What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

[gneebore]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

This one was a new low for me...

me: 'Excuse me, your copier is indicating that the black toner cartridge is empty, you wouldn't have a spare?'

client: 'OMG THAT IS SO RACIST!'

me: 'erm.... what did I say?'

client 'YOU CAN'T SAY BLACK'

Not surprising in today's climate. Of course there was one time when I needed to test a copier and needed to use other than plain white paper. So I asked for some colored paper and got the same result. "Racist comments are not allowed in our office" So glad it was in our office service area and I could tell the idiot he was a jerk.

[theengel]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

I remember when I was first starting out in a company who had a B&W Division and a Color Division. When someone was referring to someone in the color division, they simply said, one of the "color guys." I was sent to ask Joe a question, and I didn't know who he was. My coworker said, "He's the color guy wearing a green shirt." I searched for half an hour because I was new and didn't want to sound like an idiot. I found the only black man working there, and he wasn't wearing a green shirt, but I said "Are you Joe?" He wasn't Joe.

[JPiek]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

Waaay back, in the 90's i worked at a Ministry here in Holland, desktopside PC support. Then they decided to give everyone Emai... Now that would be progression, ppl could mail their reports, others could comment and mail it back ! We had to stop them or they would have taken the copiers away the same day ! The first to have a paperless office !

Reality : they printed a lot more....

"Oh, important info in his mail, I should not forget this !" [PRINT]
"Let's read this report during my coffeebreak..." [PRINT]
"Oh, funny. my colleage should see this ! [PRINT]


I don't think they where quite ready for it...

[slimslob]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

Waaay back, in the 90's i worked at a Ministry here in Holland, desktopside PC support. Then they decided to give everyone Emai... Now that would be progression, ppl could mail their reports, others could comment and mail it back ! We had to stop them or they would have taken the copiers away the same day ! The first to have a paperless office !

Reality : they printed a lot more....

"Oh, important info in his mail, I should not forget this !" [PRINT]
"Let's read this report during my coffeebreak..." [PRINT]
"Oh, funny. my colleage should see this ! [PRINT]


I don't think they where quite ready for it...

I have seen the same thing with hospitals going "paperless." It used to be that when a doctor went to visit a patient, he/she would stop at the nursing station and get the patient's medical records jacket. After the visit was over, the jacket was returned to the nursing station. Nothing printed. Enter paperless medical records. Now a doctor comes to the nursing station, sits down at the computer provided to look at the medical records. Doctor decides that he/she will need to have them in the patient's room so prints a copy. Doctor finishes visit and places copy of records in the secure shredding bin. In the course of the day multiple primary care and specialists may visit the same patient. At the end of the day, instead of one copy being in secure storage at the nursing station, there are multiple copies in the shredding bin.

[gneebore]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

I have seen the same thing with hospitals going "paperless." It used to be that when a doctor went to visit a patient, he/she would stop at the nursing station and get the patient's medical records jacket. After the visit was over, the jacket was returned to the nursing station. Nothing printed. Enter paperless medical records. Now a doctor comes to the nursing station, sits down at the computer provided to look at the medical records. Doctor decides that he/she will need to have them in the patient's room so prints a copy. Doctor finishes visit and places copy of records in the secure shredding bin. In the course of the day multiple primary care and specialists may visit the same patient. At the end of the day, instead of one copy being in secure storage at the nursing station, there are multiple copies in the shredding bin.

This reminded me of a requirement the federal paper saving technique. Went on a service call a couple years ago. I was looking at a copier next to three HP printer, Networked and shared to reduce energy use, three printers running is better than forty. Plus they had every computer print driver set to automatically duplex all print jobs. While I was there I watched as at least ten single paged documents had the first side printed and then watched as the duplex mechanism printed a blank second side. I explained to the guy that they were wasting a heck of a lot of toner and putting an extra service load on the machines. He replied that the orders came down that printing on one side was wasting too much paper going into the shredders and then a landfill. So someone figured out that all the pc print drivers could be set to default to always duplex. He did not know that the toner cartridges had chips that counted the number of pages printed and then would call for a replacement after a certain number were printed. So they were getting at the rate I saw single sided letters being printed about a third less use out of their toners than they should. And the type of toner they used in printer cartridges was not recyclable. Plus toner cost a heck of a lot more than paper. Went back to deliver supplies for the copier a few weeks later and the person I explained it to told me he called a supervisor. Who then told him the policy was set by Washington and could not be changed. They were doing it to "Save the forestry resources" Funny thing was i had to look at what they were printing because once it was printed someone inevitably came to the printers. Picked up their printed pages and then ran them through the copier to make copies to distribute as proof that they sent the information along and have a hard copy on file in case the hard drive failed and the letters were lost.

[Mark1989]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

I had a customer ask if I could speed up the copier as it was too slow for him.

[slimslob]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

This reminded me of a requirement the federal paper saving technique. Went on a service call a couple years ago. I was looking at a copier next to three HP printer, Networked and shared to reduce energy use, three printers running is better than forty. Plus they had every computer print driver set to automatically duplex all print jobs. While I was there I watched as at least ten single paged documents had the first side printed and then watched as the duplex mechanism printed a blank second side. I explained to the guy that they were wasting a heck of a lot of toner and putting an extra service load on the machines. He replied that the orders came down that printing on one side was wasting too much paper going into the shredders and then a landfill. So someone figured out that all the pc print drivers could be set to default to always duplex. He did not know that the toner cartridges had chips that counted the number of pages printed and then would call for a replacement after a certain number were printed. So they were getting at the rate I saw single sided letters being printed about a third less use out of their toners than they should. And the type of toner they used in printer cartridges was not recyclable. Plus toner cost a heck of a lot more than paper. Went back to deliver supplies for the copier a few weeks later and the person I explained it to told me he called a supervisor. Who then told him the policy was set by Washington and could not be changed. They were doing it to "Save the forestry resources" Funny thing was i had to look at what they were printing because once it was printed someone inevitably came to the printers. Picked up their printed pages and then ran them through the copier to make copies to distribute as proof that they sent the information along and have a hard copy on file in case the hard drive failed and the letters were lost.

In most parts of the world they print most things in duplex. They also use single space printing and keep the margins as narrow as they can. Some countries even require it. But even where it is required, the MFP and printers are allowed to be set to ignore a blank back page, i.e. if a print job is an odd number of pages it will not duplex the paper to print a blank page. If the HP printers cannot be set to ignore blank pages, it might save them money and reduce the landfill stream if they replace them with units that can. Toner cartridges that have to be replaced due to page count but still have toner remaining to me are a greater environmental hazard going to landfills than shredded paper. Also shredded paper can be recycled into new paper.

[roho]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

I had a customer ask if I could speed up the copier as it was too slow for him.

I think at one point most of us have had that question, also the question of converting a bw printer into a color one, as if it is a Lego set or something. I still like the one post at the start of this thread, asking if there was a model that used less paper. I also remember 2K, and the terror everyone had of tech failure, and having to show a government IT fellow how these stand alone analog machines wouldn't zilch upon the date change.

Another customer called complaining the device was turning the originals black. Upon arrival I found the platen cover missing and the user was feeding the original through the bypass and feeding it through the machine. That one was chargeable as well!

[gneebore]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

In most parts of the world they print most things in duplex. They also use single space printing and keep the margins as narrow as they can. Some countries even require it. But even where it is required, the MFP and printers are allowed to be set to ignore a blank back page, i.e. if a print job is an odd number of pages it will not duplex the paper to print a blank page. If the HP printers cannot be set to ignore blank pages, it might save them money and reduce the landfill stream if they replace them with units that can. Toner cartridges that have to be replaced due to page count but still have toner remaining to me are a greater environmental hazard going to landfills than shredded paper. Also shredded paper can be recycled into new paper.

Kind of what I tried to make clear was the problem with the toners. But someone at head quarters decided the problem was wasting paper and thinning old growth forests to make paper. Never mind the fact that the wood used to make paper is harvested from tree farms for the most part. Yes I know there are places where natural forests are being decimated to make way for farms and agriculture and cities. They also seemed to miss the concept of page counts were how the machine service cycle was checked. So if one out of eight pages is a blank sides duplex they are losing nearly 15 percent of the service life of the printer and toner usage. Which I pointed out was actually happened while we were standing there talking.

This place was where the drivers were not local, but were installed on a remote server. And the people in charge of the servers and printers wanted a plain simple easy to use interface that was one size fits all. None of the click here if printing only a one sided document, Problem with ignoring blank pages is usually software driven. I have seen some programs that have the "ignore blank pages when printing." But you have to select that option when printing and that is almost always a local printer driver and not a driver on a print server. Can't really say if I have set up a printer to ignore the blank page print jobs. But then I worked mainly on copiers and occasionally on printers.

[gneebore]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

I think at one point most of us have had that question, also the question of converting a bw printer into a color one, as if it is a Lego set or something. I still like the one post at the start of this thread, asking if there was a model that used less paper. I also remember 2K, and the terror everyone had of tech failure, and having to show a government IT fellow how these stand alone analog machines wouldn't zilch upon the date change.

Another customer called complaining the device was turning the originals black. Upon arrival I found the platen cover missing and the user was feeding the original through the bypass and feeding it through the machine. That one was chargeable as well!

Want to hear a really stupid Y2k story. Well here goes. Back then I worked in a three person shop. Me, the owner, and a secretary. We actually had service calls called in to certify IBM selectric typewrites as Y2K compliant. Most of them would accept a phone assurance that nothing was going to mess with their typewriters on Jan 01 ,2000. However there were actually some government offices that required in writing a bill documenting a physical inspection of the equipment as proof that they were complying with the standards to comply with ALL aspects and models of office equipment being certified as being able to operate in the year 2000. I actually had to add a manual typewriter to one bill because the office manager wanted to show the regional manager how silly he was insisting on all equipment in use being Y2k compliant.

Oh yeah the manual typewriter was used in a secure environment and occasionally outside a secure environment in the US. Because the Soviets managed to figure out how to "bug" IBM selectrics.

Here's a link to how it was actually done. Selectric bug

[George J]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

Waaay back, in the 90's i worked at a Ministry here in Holland, desktopside PC support. Then they decided to give everyone Emai... Now that would be progression, ppl could mail their reports, others could comment and mail it back ! We had to stop them or they would have taken the copiers away the same day ! The first to have a paperless office !

Reality : they printed a lot more....

"Oh, important info in his mail, I should not forget this !" [PRINT]
"Let's read this report during my coffeebreak..." [PRINT]
"Oh, funny. my colleage should see this ! [PRINT]


I don't think they where quite ready for it...

I've seen government departments were for years to standard operating procedure for mail was:

1) Print mail and dump print into large 'in' tray
2) Somebody tried to figure out who would be most likely to respond to the printed mail
3) Send print via internal mail system to recipient.
4) Recipient would type out an answer and print it and send it back via the internal mail.
5) Somebody would read the print and type it word by word into a reply mail

Needless to say, the average response time for a simple mail was between 3 - 6 weeks.

[jmaister]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

I heard from a colleague...

somebody asked him if the cassettes can have names in the print driver...




too many things wrong with that question and apparently came from an IT.

[sturmtrooper]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

This reminded me of a requirement the federal paper saving technique. Went on a service call a couple years ago. I was looking at a copier next to three HP printer, Networked and shared to reduce energy use, three printers running is better than forty. Plus they had every computer print driver set to automatically duplex all print jobs. While I was there I watched as at least ten single paged documents had the first side printed and then watched as the duplex mechanism printed a blank second side. I explained to the guy that they were wasting a heck of a lot of toner and putting an extra service load on the machines. He replied that the orders came down that printing on one side was wasting too much paper going into the shredders and then a landfill. So someone figured out that all the pc print drivers could be set to default to always duplex. He did not know that the toner cartridges had chips that counted the number of pages printed and then would call for a replacement after a certain number were printed. So they were getting at the rate I saw single sided letters being printed about a third less use out of their toners than they should. And the type of toner they used in printer cartridges was not recyclable. Plus toner cost a heck of a lot more than paper. Went back to deliver supplies for the copier a few weeks later and the person I explained it to told me he called a supervisor. Who then told him the policy was set by Washington and could not be changed. They were doing it to "Save the forestry resources" Funny thing was i had to look at what they were printing because once it was printed someone inevitably came to the printers. Picked up their printed pages and then ran them through the copier to make copies to distribute as proof that they sent the information along and have a hard copy on file in case the hard drive failed and the letters were lost.

This is why I hate AIO cartidges so much. And that stupid chip system. I'd rather a machine with a proper toner end sensor and toner bottles that only have toner in them. Just run the bottle till it's dry then put in a new one. Saves so much money. But so many people LOVE those little desktops that run on those damn AIOs. Because everyone wants their own printer.

[gneebore]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

This is why I hate AIO cartidges so much. And that stupid chip system. I'd rather a machine with a proper toner end sensor and toner bottles that only have toner in them. Just run the bottle till it's dry then put in a new one. Saves so much money. But so many people LOVE those little desktops that run on those damn AIOs. Because everyone wants their own printer.

It's kind of funny but towards the end of my career some companies were actually getting rid of desktop laser printers and switching to the networked copier/printer and larger high speed laser printers. The copiers can in some instances be set to not print out any print jobs until you enter your code from the control panel. One hospital office required that feature because of privacy laws. In one instance a large law firm also told me their electric bill went down when they switched to three high speed network printers instead of twenty lasers printers, one on each desk. They actually also put the printers in a common area next to the copier. One of the secretaries also mentioned it was o much quicker and easier to print out three or four copies all at once and go get the job without then needing to use the copier. They did keep the copier because of the scanning function and other needs. One other benefit mentioned. The high speed printers had a better per page price so their toner costs went down too.

[gneebore]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

dontcha just love when a customer drops of a printer for eval/service.... you go to test it ( It's not printing is the issue ) you fire the puppy up and first thing is says " out of black ink ... please replace black ink " you call the customer and they say " oh yeah we knew that! " damn how are you supposed to service it if you have no ink for it.
Told the customer ok we will buy some for me to test it... " Are we going to have to PAY for that ink!?"


I'm thinking " NO TWIT.. we love buying ink for you dumb asses!"

We were a warranty repair center for desktops of a certain brand. Had quite a few that would bring their copiers in for warranty repair that had the cheapest mail order cartridges they could find. Can not count the number of times I took the cheap one out put a spare OEM toner in and it worked fine. Put their toner back in and lousy copies. And of course more than half the time got the "well why can't you fix it to work with my toner". Had quite a few that claimed the warranty covered the aftermarket toners because the box said it was for XYZ copiers. Actually had a copy of the warranty that said "warranty void for use of non-OEM toners" and had to show a whole bunch of people that nice phrase. One got so irate and loud the secretary actually threatened to call the police to get rid of them.