What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

[Lagonda]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

and the Samsuck website was a PIA.... 6 different screens before you could even start placing a claim.. and yes we had repairs refused also

And it hasn't got any better now that HP are running their copier division. The shittiest website I've ever had to deal with, no service manuals, parts manuals only show a 3rd of the parts and torturous path to try to order any. Which they don't have in stock anyway.

[blackcat4866]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

I think that my co-worker won't mind my sharing this story:

He was out on a bizhub 754e/FS-534 that has a long history of J72-17 and J72-19 jams, but they were never reproducible. I had been there on a few occasions, but this was his turn.

As luck would have it the enduser with the problem showed up at his elbow asking about that terrible jamming problem (that noone else has ever experienced). She explained that she gets this cardstock (the famous "cardstock"). By appearances it's about 300gsm. It might surprise you that the enduser is a teacher. The conversation goes something like this:

Enduser: "So I take this cardstock. It comes as 9" x 24", so I cut it exactly in half to get two pieces 8 1/2" x 11" letter.
Tech: "You do?"
Enduser: "Yes."
Tech: "See my ruler here ... this paper is 9" x 12".
Enduser: (confused) That can't be. I cut it in half."
Tech: "Yes, half of 24" is 12". And you don't cut the other dimension, so that's 9" x 12".
Enduser: (still confused)
Tech: So when you program the tray as 8 1/2" x 11" these little guides here in the finisher automatically adjust to 8 1/2" wide, 1/2" narrower than your 9" paper. So you can do one of two things: 1) you can cut the paper smaller to 8 1/2" x 11", or 2) you can program the tray to a custom paper size 9" x 12". Either one will work.

I hope she wasn't a math teacher. =^..^=

[Ben Franklin]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

Customer puts a black and white photo on the glass of a color copier and asks why the resulting print hasn't been made color.

[KipCody]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

A customer once asked me why their paper was so sharp and why they kept getting paper cuts from it.....

[mrwho]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

When the customer rides your ass because "you don't calibrate the machine often enough" but keeps printing the jobs with the fiery option "colorwise off" because "the colors come out more natural"...

[kingarthur]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

not so much a dumb question, but a dumb action, customer logs a call in the afternoon, "can't print to device, have tried more than 1 pc so it has to be the copier", pop in next morning as passing & it's printing..... another call logged just after lunch today, same thing, I had to go & look at another of theirs so looked at this at same time, went to "devices & printers" it's greyed out, check network port, no lights flashing, trace network cable to source, it's in a wireless router....no lights on the router, it's plugged in to an extension lead....no lights on the extension lead....check mains socket....it's turned off... apparently the person who sits there finishes at 1 and switches everything off....

[Andysnave]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

Had a customer ring up a few years ago for a chargeable call on some ancient Minolta or Canon. I asked for the model of the machine, details of the problem and also if possible the serial number so I could prepare their paperwork before I came out.
"It's a chubby little copier that jams a lot. The serial number is 220-240 V 50-60 Hz."..........................


"Unfortunately we're very busy at the moment, goodbye!"

[Phil B.]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

went to a call this AM... customer said it kept jamming when trying to copy ( IR 2200 )

got there.. she had ran an errand..

took blank paper .. stuck it in the ADF... pulled all 32 pgs thru NPF

waited for her to get back..asked 'Missy' to show me what she was doing...

20pgs STAPLED TOGETHER.. she stuck in the ADF.. pressed START


" SEE!!!! IT'S BEEN DOING THIS ALL MORNING LONG .... FIX THE DAMN THING"

Ma'am please hold on a second.. whipped my pocket knife out .. yanked the staples.. stuck the stack back in ADF..

No Runs.. no Drips.. No Errors.

THEN she had the NERVE to ask me NOT TO CHARGE " cuz my boss will be PISSED at me"

Sorry $95 please and May I speak to your BOSS?

needless to say.. she called the office AND THE O.M. stood WITH ME! ( and yesssss.. her boss WAS PISSED! OFW! )

[gneebore]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

went to a call this AM... customer said it kept jamming when trying to copy ( IR 2200 )

got there.. she had ran an errand..

took blank paper .. stuck it in the ADF... pulled all 32 pgs thru NPF

waited for her to get back..asked 'Missy' to show me what she was doing...

20pgs STAPLED TOGETHER.. she stuck in the ADF.. pressed START


" SEE!!!! IT'S BEEN DOING THIS ALL MORNING LONG .... FIX THE DAMN THING"

Ma'am please hold on a second.. whipped my pocket knife out .. yanked the staples.. stuck the stack back in ADF..

No Runs.. no Drips.. No Errors.

THEN she had the NERVE to ask me NOT TO CHARGE " cuz my boss will be PISSED at me"

Sorry $95 please and May I speak to your BOSS?

needless to say.. she called the office AND THE O.M. stood WITH ME! ( and yesssss.. her boss WAS PISSED! OFW! )

Had a a few customers wit typewriters that commonly would buy after market ribbons. Not a problem if they bought the right style to be able to use the correcting lift off feature. There were three type of ribbon and all used the same cartridges. A multi strike, a non-correctable carbon and the correctable film ribbons. Quite a few times I had to write up a service call for the wrong ribbon style when the customer called in correction key not working. If it was a contract customer no big deal I wrote it up and did an unscheduled pm on the machine to save a call in the future. The charge calls were also pm'd but all the techs working in the company were told to put specifically the real reason for the charge. Worst ones I actually went into the supply closet and put a message on the ribbons "do not use in correcting typewriter will not correct" Had way too many people call again in two to three weeks again. And right there most of the time in their trash can or next to the typewriter was the box I had written my note. And they got charged without any consideration for it being a repeat call. Boy were there some fun conversations with the office managers when I went into the office the next morning.

[FrohnB]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

Had one yesterday. Customer called in and said machine was "burning the yellow toner". I asked her if she meant "burning THROUGH yellow toner (like going through yellow too fast), she said "No, the yellow toner is burnt to almost a yellow/brown color". Confused as all hell, I told her that I had a call up that way (40 miles away), and I would stop by and check it out while I was there. I finish my other call, with the thought of "burnt toner? WTH?" swirling around my head the whole time. I get over there, and notice a red light on the machine, Message reading "Waste Toner bottle Full", I ask customer why she didn't mention that and show her how to switch it out, and as I pull out the Old waste bottle she Exclaims "THERE, that's the burnt yellow toner I was talking about". FacePalm!! Had to explain to her it was the mix of waste toner (which she had a hard time understanding).


Also had one a few months ago. Call for ADF jamming. Show up and customer explains that the ADF will run better or worse depending on how hard they pressed the Start key. If they pressed it "too hard, it would add pages to the final output, and too soft it would run slow". Told customer I would check to see what it does. After cleaning dust off of machine for 30 minutes and testing Start button (no problem), went and told the customer I recalibrated the pressure on the start button so it would work with a light push of the finger. . She says, "I knew there must be a setting in there for that!!"

[Lagonda]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

Heres one from a salesman.......do we have an adaption kit for the visual impaired to use a photocopier?
Oh well if he makes the sale we'll never have a complaint about copy quality!

[ZOOTECH]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

Heres one from a salesman.......do we have an adaption kit for the visual impaired to use a photocopier?
Oh well if he makes the sale we'll never have a complaint about copy quality!

Well, I did service a copier at a 'Blindness Aware Center' once for a CQ problem - it looked fine to me.😉

[NeoMatrix]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

Well, I did service a copier at a 'Blindness Aware Center' once for a CQ problem - it looked fine to me.��

re. CQ.
Bugger... no more braille over the copy....

[fixthecopier]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

It was nothing a customer said, but something a dispatcher said made me think about some of the people in our industry. I was doing a third party call and was calling to close the call. The dispatcher ask me if the code was gone from the machine. I kind of sarcastically ask, "do you think I would close the call if the code was still there?" She replied that I have no idea how many call in and try to close calls when the machine is still broke. Sadly, I think I do.

[keithxxiii]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

Had a call charge customer owning a Mono Machine (ricoh). He then asked me what options need to be installed to turn it into a color copier/printer.