Joke of the Day

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  • Shadow
    PHD in Sh!t Disturbing

    250+ Posts
    • Sep 2011
    • 455

    #1516
    Re: Joke of the Day

    A husband walks into Victoria's Secret to purchase a sheer negligee for his wife. He is shown several possibilities that range from $250 to $500 in price -- the more sheer, the higher the price. Naturally, he opts for the most sheer item, pays the $500, and takes it home. He presents it to his wife and asks her to go upstairs, put it on, and model it for him.





    Upstairs the wife thinks (she's no dummy), 'I have an idea. It's so sheer that it might as well be nothing. I won't put it on, but I'll do the modeling naked, return it tomorrow, and keep the $500 refund for myself.'





    She appears naked on the balcony and strikes a pose.





    The husband says, 'Good Grief! You'd think for $500, they'd at least iron it!'





    He never heard the shot.





    Funeral on Thursday at Noon.





    Closed coffin!
    $hit Happens - Deal with it and move on.....................................sigpic....................................Lock & Load

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    • Brian8506
      Service Manager

      Site Contributor
      1,000+ Posts
      • Feb 2009
      • 1658

      #1517
      Re: Joke of the Day

      Comment

      • collme
        Ricoh tech

        Site Contributor
        100+ Posts
        • Apr 2010
        • 221

        #1518
        Re: Joke of the Day

        1503824_10152156278283706_83490204_n.jpg

        Comment

        • mohan
          Technician

          50+ Posts
          • Oct 2013
          • 87

          #1519
          Re: Joke of the Day

          A man walks into a bar... and says: ''OWW!!, Who left that there!! Someone could get seriously hurt!!"

          Comment

          • fixthecopier
            ALIEN OVERLORD

            2,500+ Posts
            • Apr 2008
            • 4714

            #1520
            Re: Joke of the Day

            The greatest enemy of knowledge isn't ignorance, it is the illusion of knowledge. Stephen Hawking

            Comment

            • blsquires
              Trusted Tech

              Site Contributor
              250+ Posts
              • Nov 2008
              • 342

              #1521
              Re: Joke of the Day

              man walks into chemist and asks for a packet of plain condoms. the shop assistant said im sorry but we only have the rainbow ones.
              ok he said they will have to do .
              six months later he goes into the same chemist and said do you sell maternity bras.
              yes said the shop assistant. what bust
              he said the green one.

              Comment

              • Debs1964
                Service Manager

                1,000+ Posts
                • Oct 2010
                • 1687

                #1522
                Re: Joke of the Day

                Originally posted by collme
                [ATTACH=CONFIG]23362[/ATTACH]
                I was going to accuse you of stealing this off my Facebook page, then I realised, I don't have you on Facebook
                There are 10 types of people in this world, those who understand binary maths and those who don't

                Comment

                • fixthecopier
                  ALIEN OVERLORD

                  2,500+ Posts
                  • Apr 2008
                  • 4714

                  #1523
                  Re: Joke of the Day

                  Enjoy...http://imgur.com/gallery/5wBRU

                  I can't stop laughing at 4th place
                  The greatest enemy of knowledge isn't ignorance, it is the illusion of knowledge. Stephen Hawking

                  Comment

                  • Debs1964
                    Service Manager

                    1,000+ Posts
                    • Oct 2010
                    • 1687

                    #1524
                    Re: Joke of the Day

                    Originally posted by fixthecopier
                    Enjoy...http://imgur.com/gallery/5wBRU

                    I can't stop laughing at 4th place
                    I saw them a couple of days ago, 4th place is my favourite too, I don't think he deserves a Darwin award though, I think he deserves a Genius award
                    There are 10 types of people in this world, those who understand binary maths and those who don't

                    Comment

                    • slimslob
                      Retired

                      Site Contributor
                      25,000+ Posts
                      • May 2013
                      • 36890

                      #1525
                      Re: Joke of the Day

                      Originally posted by Debs1964
                      I saw them a couple of days ago, 4th place is my favourite too, I don't think he deserves a Darwin award though, I think he deserves a Genius award
                      Yes. And the mental hospital deserves the Darwin.

                      Comment

                      • Tonerbomb
                        AutoMajical Resolutionist

                        Site Contributor
                        2,500+ Posts
                        • Feb 2005
                        • 2589

                        #1526
                        Re: Joke of the Day

                        Forth place is hilarious!!!!!!!!!!!!! But for the stupid criminal factor #10 wins

                        here in Bugaha last week we had another stupid criminal, man went in to a Kum and Go robs it and walks 2 blocks home. an hour later walked back to the store and buys something with the stolen cash, gets recognized buy the clerk who followed him home and called the cops!!!!
                        Mystic Crystal Revelations

                        Comment

                        • KapeKopyTek
                          Trusted Tech

                          Site Contributor
                          250+ Posts
                          • Nov 2013
                          • 285

                          #1527
                          Re: Joke of the Day

                          Originally posted by Tonerbomb
                          man went in to a Kum and Go
                          That's quite a name for a business - it sounds like a ... well, never mind.

                          Comment

                          • slimslob
                            Retired

                            Site Contributor
                            25,000+ Posts
                            • May 2013
                            • 36890

                            #1528
                            Re: Joke of the Day

                            Originally posted by KapeKopyTek
                            That's quite a name for a business - it sounds like a ... well, never mind.
                            Reminds me of a rhyme I heard many years ago.

                            There once was a gent form Kent
                            His dick was so long it bent
                            The girls around town
                            would all put him down
                            For instead of cumming he went

                            Comment

                            • Shadow
                              PHD in Sh!t Disturbing

                              250+ Posts
                              • Sep 2011
                              • 455

                              #1529
                              Re: Joke of the Day

                              A Saskatchewan man is drinking in a Fort MacMurray bar
                              when he gets a call on his cellphone.

                              He orders drinks for everybody in the bar because, he announces, his wife has just produced a typical Saskatchewan baby boy weighing 25 pounds.

                              Nobody can believe that any new baby can weigh in at 25 pounds, but the Saskatchewan man just shrugs, "That's about average
                              folks...like I said - my boy's a typical Saskatchewan baby boy."

                              Two weeks later the Saskatchewan man returns to the bar.

                              The bartender says, "Say, you're the father of that typical Saskatchewan baby that weighed 25 pounds at birth, aren't you? Everybody's been makin' bets about how big he'd be in two weeks. ....so how much does he weigh now?"

                              The proud father answers, "Seventeen pounds."
                              The bartender is puzzled, and concerned.



                              "What happened? He was 25 pounds the day he was born."

                              The Saskatchewan father takes a slow swig from his LaBatts beer,
                              wipes his lips on his shirt sleeve,leans into the bartender and proudly says,



                              "Had him circumcised".

                              God Bless Saskatchewan!!!
                              $hit Happens - Deal with it and move on.....................................sigpic....................................Lock & Load

                              Comment

                              • Herrmann
                                Senior Tech

                                Site Contributor
                                500+ Posts
                                • Jan 2006
                                • 792

                                #1530
                                Re: Joke of the Day

                                If you have the choice of getting 1 billion Dollar or establish peace on earth, in what color would you order your maserati?
                                If sometimes you feel a little useless, offended and depressed always remember that you were once the fastest and most victorious sperm of hundreds of millions!

                                Comment

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