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If sometimes you feel a little useless, offended and depressed always remember that you were once the fastest and most victorious sperm of hundreds of millions! -
Re: Joke of the Day
I can see a couple of drawbacks with your second option, but you're pretty much spot on with the first
Anyone wants to tell me why I'm fool enough to still want a man in my life then 
There are 10 types of people in this world, those who understand binary maths and those who don'tComment
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Re: Joke of the Day
Women, Can't live with them....can't live with them.
Women, Can't live with them...can't take them out back and shoot them...If you don't see your question answered in the forum, please don't think it's OK to PM me for a personal reply...I do not give out firmware and/or manuals.Comment
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Re: Joke of the Day
i feel the need to get in on this...
WHY DOGS ARE BETTER THAN WOMEN
1. Dogs don't cry.
2. Dogs love it when your friends come over.
3. Dogs don't care if you use their shampoo.
4. Dogs think you sing great.
5. A dog's time in the bathroom is confined to a quick drink.
6. Dogs don't expect you to call when you are running late.
7. The later you are, the more excited dogs are to see you
8. Dogs will forgive you for playing with other dogs.
9. Dogs don't notice if you call them by another dog's name.
10. Dogs are excited by rough play.
11. Dogs don't mind if you give their offspring away.
12. Dogs understand that farts are funny.
13. Dogs love red meat.
14. Dogs can appreciate excessive body hair.
15. Anyone can get a good-looking dog.
16. If a dog is gorgeous, other dogs don't hate it.
17. Dogs don't shop.
18. Dogs like it when you leave lots of things on the floor.
19. A dog's disposition stays the same all month long.
20. Dogs never need to examine the relationship.
21. A dog's parents never visit.
22. Dogs love long car trips.
23. Dogs understand that instincts are better than asking for directions.
24. Dogs understand that all animals smaller than dogs were made to be hunted.
25. When a dog gets old and starts to snap at you incessantly, you can shoot it.
26. Dogs like beer.
27. Dogs don't hate their bodies.
28. No dog ever bought a Kenny G or Hootie & the Blowfish album.
29. No dog ever put on 100 pounds after reaching adulthood.
30. Dogs never criticize.
31. Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.
32. Dogs never expect gifts.
33. It's legal to keep a dog chained up at your house.
34. Dogs don't worry about germs.
35. Dogs don't want to know about every other dog you ever had.
36. Dogs like to do their snooping outside as opposed to in your wallet, desk, and the back of your sock drawer.
37. Dogs don't let magazine articles guide their lives.
38. Dogs would rather have you buy them a hamburger dinner than a lobster one.
40. You never have to wait for a dog. They're ready to go 24 hours a day.
41. Dogs have no use for flowers, cards, or jewelry.
42. Dogs don't borrow your shirts.
43. Dogs never want foot-rubs.
44. Dogs enjoy heavy petting in public.
45. Dogs find you amusing when you're drunk.
46. Dogs can't talk.
47. Dogs aren't catty.
48. Dogs seldom outlive you.The greatest enemy of knowledge isn't ignorance, it is the illusion of knowledge. Stephen HawkingComment
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The greatest enemy of knowledge isn't ignorance, it is the illusion of knowledge. Stephen HawkingComment
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Re: Joke of the Day
So I assume, when I turn the volume up for Pink Floyd, AC/DC or Deep Purple, most men wouldn't object. And when I turn the radio to another channel when Take That, Westlife or anything from a TV talent show comes on, I'm guessing that most men wouldn't complain at that either
There are 10 types of people in this world, those who understand binary maths and those who don'tComment
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Re: Joke of the Day
Reasons Why Beer is Better Than Men
1. A beer NEVER leaves the toilet seat up.
2. A beer lasts longer than seven seconds.
3. A beer won't expect you to cook dinner when you're not hungry.
4. A beer will never expect you to sit in the wet spot IT makes.
5. A beer doesn't care if you go shopping.
6. A beer doesn't mind when your mother visits.
7. A beer does as many chores as a man, with a LOT less complaining.
8. Having a beer can't make you pregnant.
9. A beer won't tease you because you once liked Barry Manilow.
10. If a beer had a sports car, it wouldn't love it more than you.
11. A beer doesn't want to go out alone with the other beers.
12. A beer doesn't sulk.
13. A beer wouldn't waste its money on Playbeer magazine.
14. A beer won't switch the TV channel.
15. A beer doesn't have to sleep with the windows open.
16. A beer doesn't snore.
17. A beer can't interrupt.
18. A beer doesn't care that you can't find your car's carburetor.
19. A beer doesn't think black leather bikinis are neat.
20. A beer doesn't belch. Or fart.
21. A beer doesn't mind having pantyhose dry in the bathroom.
22. A beer doesn't care that you don't balance your checkbook.
23. A good beer is easy to find.
24. A beer can't pout.
25. A beer doesn't have a mother.
26. A beer doesn't have friends who will drink your beer.
27. A beer wouldn't yell if you dented the car.
28. A beer won't get jealous if you enjoy another beer.
29. A beer won't care if you gain five pounds.
30. A beer will be there for anytime of the month.
31. A beer doesn't want children.
32. A beer doesn't think poetry is queer.
33. A beer isn't ready until you're ready.
34. If the beer is finished before you are, you can have another beer.
35. Hangovers go away.
36. A beer tastes good.
37. Having a beer doesn't make you want to take a shower.
38. A beer will never invite friends home for dinner without calling.
39. A beer's life does not revolve around the football.
40. A beer would never make fun of your new outfit.
41. A beer never needs a shave.
42. You don't have to let a beer win.
43. A beer doesn't care what toppings you get on the pizza.
44. Just because you have dinner with a beer doesn't mean you have to sleep with a beer too.
45. A beer doesn't have morning breath.
46. A beer is happy to go where ever you want to go.
47. A beer will never drink the last beer.
48. A beer will never take the newspaper apart before you've read it.
49. When a beer is finished, it doesn't roll over and go to sleep.
50. A beer wouldn't mind if you wanted it to wear a condom.
51. A beer is never temperamental.
52. A beer will never complain about your cooking.
53. A cold beer is a good beer.
54. A beer will never worry about losing its hair.
55. A big, fat beer is nice to have.
56. A beer won't steal the covers.
57. You don't have to laugh at a beer's jokes.
58. A beer won't mind at all if you're not in the mood for beer.
59. You can enjoy a beer when you are on your period.
NOTE, #7 is especially true
There are 10 types of people in this world, those who understand binary maths and those who don'tComment
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The greatest enemy of knowledge isn't ignorance, it is the illusion of knowledge. Stephen HawkingComment
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Re: Joke of the Day
The Deaf Italian Bookkeeper
A Mafia Godfather finds out that his bookkeeper of 20 years, Guido, has cheated him out of $10,000,000.00. Guido is deaf which is why he got the job in the first place.
The Godfather assumed that since Guido could not hear anything, he could never testify in court. When the Godfather goes to confront Guido about his missing $10 million, he takes along his personal lawyer because he knows sign language.
T
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Re: Joke of the Day
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