Re: Joke of the Day
How do you know if a good looking sheila is ticklish ?
You give her a testicle .... o!o....
How do you know if a good looking sheila is ticklish ?
You give her a testicle .... o!o....
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Inauguration to the "AI cancel-culture" fraternity 1997...
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Re: Joke of the Day
The Lord looks down on Eden and sees Adam walking around looking very sad...He says "Hello Adam, why so forlorne?". Adam says.."Eden is just great, the perfect place, but I'm getting very lonely with nothing but plants and animals around". The Lord says "Fine, I'll make you the perfect companion..one that will look after you, feed you when hungry, nurse you when you're sick, never argue with you, always say yes when you're feeling armorous, take care of your children and remain at your side until you leave this world". Adam says "that sounds great, what's it gonna cost me?" The Lord says "an arm and a leg". Adam thinks for a moment and says "what can I get for a rib?" EmujoIf you don't see your question answered in the forum, please don't think it's OK to PM me for a personal reply...I do not give out firmware and/or manuals.Comment
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Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Coke in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO-HOO, what a ride!".Comment
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Re: Joke of the Day
I would like to share an experience with you, about drinking and driving.
As you well know, some of us have been known to have had brushes with the authorities on our way home from the odd social session over the years.
A couple of nights ago, I was out for a few drinks with some friends at the Marriott Hotel and had a few too many beers and some rather nice red wine.
Knowing full well I may have been slightly over the limit, I did something I've never done before: I took a bus home.
Sure enough I passed a police road block but as it was a bus, they waved it past.
I arrived home safely without incident, which was a real surprise; as I have never driven a bus before and am not sure where I got it.Comment
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' "But the salesman said . . ." The salesman's an asshole!'
Mascan42
'You will always find some Eskimo ready to instruct the Congolese on how to cope with heat waves.'
Ibid
I'm just an ex-tech lurking around and spreading disinformation!Comment
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Re: Joke of the Day
I haven't read all the jokes so I hope this is not a repeat.
There are 2 canibals in the woods eating a clown when one turns to the other and ask. Does this taste funny to you?Comment
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Re: Joke of the Day
I want you to have this feeling too - it is my moral responsibility to help you achieve this inner freedom
Read more at Dmitri Mendeleev Quotes - BrainyQuote
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Tip for the day; Treat every problem as your dog would.....If you cant eat it or f*ck it....then p*ss on it & walk away...Comment
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If you don't see your question answered in the forum, please don't think it's OK to PM me for a personal reply...I do not give out firmware and/or manuals.Comment
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Re: Joke of the Day
I stopped at a friend's house the other day and found him stalking around with a fly-swatter.
When I asked if he was getting any flies, he answered: 'Yeah, three males and two females.'
Curious, I asked how he could tell the difference.
He said: 'Three were on a beer can and two were on the phone.
"You can't trust your eyes, if your mind is out of focus" --
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Re: Joke of the Day
I truly can understand these kind's of Mondays!
The Pharmacist's Monday
Before he could say more than a word or two, the druggist told him,Upon arriving home, a husband was met at the door by his sobbing wife. Tearfully she explained,
"It's the druggist. He insulted me terribly this morning on the phone. I had to call multiple times before he would even answer the phone."
Immediately, the husband drove downtown to confront the druggist and demand an apology.
"Now, just a minute, listen to my side of it. This morning the alarm failed to go off, so I was late getting up. I went without breakfast and hurried out to the car, just to realize that I'd locked the house with both house and car keys inside and had to break a window to get my keys.
"Then, driving a little too fast, I got a speeding ticket. Later, when I was about three blocks from the store, I had a flat tire."
"When I finally got to the store a bunch of people were waiting for me to open up. I got the store opened and started waiting on these people, all the time the darn phone was ringing off the hook."
He continued, "Then I had to break a roll of nickels against the cash
register drawer to make change, and they spilled all over the floor.
I had to get down on my hands and knees to pick up the nickels and
the phone was still ringing. When I came up I cracked my head on the
open cash drawer, which made me stagger back against a showcase
with a bunch of perfume bottles on it. Half of them hit the
floor and broke."
"Meanwhile, the phone is still ringing with no let up, and I finally got
back to answer it. It was your wife. She wanted to know how to use a
rectal thermometer.
And believe me mister, as God ismy witness, all I did was tell her."Comment
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