Joke of the Day

[nmfaxman]

Re: Joke of the Day

An old Indian was asked the name of his wife.
He replied, "Wife Name - Three Horse."
"That's an unusual name for your wife, Three Horse. What does it mean?"
"It's an old Indian name. Means Nag, Nag, Nag."

[emujo]

Re: Joke of the Day

Since were on this subject....


A young indian lad walks to his fathers TeePee and says "father, how do you come up with our names"?. His father says " When you children are born, I open the flap of our Teepee and look out at all mother nature has to offer, the 1st thing I see is what I name you...Why do you ask, Two Dogs Fucking"?

[igi]

Re: Joke of the Day

Gang of bikers pull next to old dinner,

the one biker wearing a helmet with hornes( looks like viking)

in the dinner an old indian just keep on stearing at him the whole time

after a while the biker with the helmet could not help himself,but to ask

the old indian why you are looking at me the whole time

the indian replied: many moons ago i slept with a buffalo

i think you my son

[mrwho]

Re: Joke of the Day

A guy with a black eye boards his plane bound for Pittsburgh and sits down in his seat.

He notices immediately that the guy next to him has a black eye, too.

He says to him, "Hey, this is a coincidence, we both have black eyes; mind if I ask how you got yours?"

The other guy says, "Well, it just happened, it was a tongue twister accident.
See, I was at the ticket counter and this gorgeous blonde with the most massive breasts in the world was there. So, instead of saying, 'I'd like two tickets to Pittsburgh,' I accidentally said, 'I'd like two pickets to Tittsburgh'....so she socked me a good one."

The first guy replied, "Wow! This is unbelievable. Mine was a tongue-twister too. I was at the breakfast table and I wanted to say to my wife, "Please pour me a bowl of Frosties, honey.'
But I accidentally said, 'You have ruined my life you evil, self-centered, fat-assed bitch.'

[Shadow]

Re: Joke of the Day

Finnegin: My wife has a terrible habit of staying up 'til two o'clock in the morning. I can't break her out of it.
Keenan: What on earth is she doin' at that time?
Finnegin: Waitin' for me to come home.

[mjarbar]

Re: Joke of the Day

Tony had just finished reading a new book entitled, 'You Can Be The Man of Your House.'

He stormed to his wife in the kitchen and announced, 'From now on, you need to know that I am the man of this house and my word is Law. You will prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, and when I'm finished eating my meal, you will serve me a sumptuous dessert.

After dinner, you are going to go upstairs with me and we will have the kind of sex that I want. Afterwards, you are going to draw me a bath so I can relax. You will wash my back and towel me dry and bring me my robe.

Then, you will massage my feet and hands. Then tomorrow, guess who's going to dress me and comb my hair?'

His Sicilian wife Gina replied, "The fucking funeral director would be my first guess."

"Where do you want this big roll of bubble wrap ?" I asked my boss.
"Just pop it in the corner" he said.

It took me 3 hours.

[ZOOTECH]

Re: Joke of the Day

If you are a senior you will understand this one, if you deal with
seniors, this should help you understand them a little better, and if you are not
a senior yet........God willing, someday you will be.......

The 2.99 Special



We went to breakfast at a restaurant where the 'seniors' special' was two
eggs, bacon, hash browns and toast for $2.99.

'Sounds good,' my wife said. 'But I don't want the eggs.'

'Then, I'll have to charge you $3.49 because you're ordering a la carte,'
the waitress warned her.

'You mean I'd have to pay for not taking the eggs?' my wife asked
incredulously.

'YES!' stated the waitress.

'I'll take the special then,' my wife said..

'How do you want your eggs?' the waitress asked.

'Raw and in the shell,' my wife replied. She took the two eggs home and
baked a cake.

DON'T MESS WITH SENIORS!!!
WE'VE been around the block more than once!

[Shadow]

Re: Joke of the Day

YYJ8461276.1.jpg

[Shadow]

Re: Joke of the Day

pen_stuck.jpghow do you approach this mishap with the client?

[NeoMatrix]

Re: Joke of the Day

[ATTACH=CONFIG]16562[/ATTACH]how do you approach this mishap with the client?

Asks the customer can they see the point of it.

[mjarbar]

Re: Joke of the Day

[ATTACH=CONFIG]16562[/ATTACH]how do you approach this mishap with the client?

Ask where the rest of him is!!!!

[ZOOTECH]

Re: Joke of the Day

Why Men Wear Earrings

A man is at work one day when he notices that his co-worker is wearing an earring.

This man knows his co-worker to be a normally conservative fellow and is curious about his sudden change in 'fashion sense.'

The man walks up to him and says, 'I didn't know you were into earrings.'

'Don't make such a big deal, it's only an earring,' he replies sheepishly.

His friend falls silent for a few minutes, but then his curiosity prods him to say, "So, how long have you been wearing one?"

"Ever since my wife found it in my car."

(I always wondered how this trend got started.)

[ZOOTECH]

Re: Joke of the Day

Fable of the

Porcupine

It was the coldest winter ever. Many animals died because of the cold. The porcupines, realizing the situation, decided to group together to keep warm. This way they covered and protected themselves; but the quills of each one wounded their closest companions.

After awhile, they decided to distance themselves one from the other and they began to die, alone and frozen. So they had to make a choice: either accept the quills of their companions or disappear from the Earth.

Wisely, they decided to go back to being together. They learned to live with the little wounds caused by the close
relationship with their companions in order to receive the heat that came from the others. This way they were able to survive.

The best relationship is not the one that brings together perfect people, but when each individual learns to live with the imperfections of others and can admire the other person's good qualities.


The moral of the story is:

Just learn to live with the Pricks in your life!

[NeoMatrix]

Re: Joke of the Day

A businessman is on his deathbed calls to his mate of manys years and,say "Bob I want you to promise me that when I died you will have my remain cremated."
"Okay "his mate said and what do you want me to do with the ashes?

I would like you to put them in an envelope and mail them to tax department with a note saying "ok ya bastards now you have everything."

[NeoMatrix]

Re: Joke of the Day

A man come home from the social security office .
"Honey" he says to his wife ."I've finally convinced them that I'm old enough to collect the age pension.
"How?" his wife asks, knowing full well that the department of records in their small town had burnt to the ground and all birth certificate records where lost.

"Well I just unbutton my shirt top and showed them all the grey hair on my chest",replies the man.
That finally convinced them that I was old enough.

His wife replies "Well while you where at it why didn't you drop your old-fella out and show them that ,you could have gotten disability as well."