Joke of the Day

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  • tsbservice
    Field tech

    Site Contributor
    5,000+ Posts
    • May 2007
    • 7989

    #4936
    A tree is known by its fruit, a man by his deeds. A good deed is never lost, he who sows courtesy, reaps friendship, and he who plants kindness gathers love.
    Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused.

    Comment

    • izzynut
      Gov.

      5,000+ Posts
      • Aug 2013
      • 5347

      #4937
      Re: Joke of the Day
      Your learning lesson for the day. You know a day without learning is a day wasted.

      Written across the wall of the cave were the following symbols:



      It was considered a unique find and the writings were said to be at least 3,000 years old!

      The piece of stone was removed, brought to the museum, and archaeologists from around the world came to study the ancient symbols.

      They held a huge meeting after months of conferences to discuss the meaning of the markings.

      The president of the society pointed to the first drawing and said:






      You can also tell they were intelligent, as the next symbol is a donkey, so they were smart enough to have animals help them till the soil.



      The next drawing is a shovel, which means they had tools to help them.


      Even further proof of their high intelligence is the fish which means that during a famine, they seek food from the sea.


      The last symbol appears to be the Star of David which means they were evidently Hebrews."

      The audience applauded enthusiastically.

      Then an old Jewish man stood up in the back of the room and said,


      "Idiots...Hebrew is read from right to left..
      It says: 'Holy mackerel, dig the ass on that chick".



      Comment

      • Phil B.
        Field Supervisor

        10,000+ Posts
        • Jul 2016
        • 22798

        #4938
        Re: Joke of the Day

        Bill Clinton ahead of his conference on Women's Rights went to the doctor to get checked out... the doctor took several vials of blood for testing.

        Days later the doctor calls Bill back in for results of his test.

        Well Mr. Clinton your STD's seem to be contained .. there was one startling discovery

        Bill looked puzzled and worried... " What is it doc? "

        Well it seems you have native american blood lineage.. the doc replied.

        Really I had no idea? What tribe am I a part of? Bill said.

        "I Rap A Ho" the doc replied.

        Comment

        • slimslob
          Retired

          Site Contributor
          25,000+ Posts
          • May 2013
          • 37408

          #4939
          Re: Joke of the Day

          Hello Father...
          Two priests decided to go to Hawaii on their holidays.
          They were determined to make this a real vacation by not wearing anything that would identify them as clergy. As soon as the plane landed they headed for a store and bought some really outrageous shorts, shirts, sandals, sunglasses.

          The next morning they went to the beach dressed in their 'tourist' garb. They were sitting on beach chairs, enjoying a drink, the sunshine and the scenery when a 'drop dead gorgeous' topless blonde came walking straight towards them ......They couldn't help but stare.

          As the blonde passed them she smiled and said 'Good Morning, Father ~ Good Morning, Father,' nodding and addressing each of them individually, then she passed on by. They were both stunned. How in the world did she know they were priests?

          So the next day, they went back to the store and bought even more outrageous outfits.

          Once again, in their new attire, they settled down in their chairs to enjoy the sunshine. After a little while, the same gorgeous topless blonde came walking toward them. Again she nodded at each of them and said 'Good morning, Father ~ Good morning, Father,' and started to walk away.

          One of the priests couldn't stand it any longer and said, 'Just a minute, young lady.' 'Yes, Father?' 'We are priests and proud of it, but I have to know, how in the world did you know we are priests, dressed as we are?'

          She replied, 'Father, it's me, Sister Kathleen.'

          Comment

          • slimslob
            Retired

            Site Contributor
            25,000+ Posts
            • May 2013
            • 37408

            #4940
            Re: Joke of the Day

            Comment

            • slimslob
              Retired

              Site Contributor
              25,000+ Posts
              • May 2013
              • 37408

              #4941
              Re: Joke of the Day

              Comment

              • slimslob
                Retired

                Site Contributor
                25,000+ Posts
                • May 2013
                • 37408

                #4942
                Re: Joke of the Day

                Comment

                • Phil B.
                  Field Supervisor

                  10,000+ Posts
                  • Jul 2016
                  • 22798

                  #4943
                  Re: Joke of the Day

                  Comment

                  • Phil B.
                    Field Supervisor

                    10,000+ Posts
                    • Jul 2016
                    • 22798

                    #4944
                    Re: Joke of the Day

                    Comment

                    • Phil B.
                      Field Supervisor

                      10,000+ Posts
                      • Jul 2016
                      • 22798

                      #4945
                      Re: Joke of the Day

                      Comment

                      • Phil B.
                        Field Supervisor

                        10,000+ Posts
                        • Jul 2016
                        • 22798

                        #4946
                        Re: Joke of the Day

                        Comment

                        • slimslob
                          Retired

                          Site Contributor
                          25,000+ Posts
                          • May 2013
                          • 37408

                          #4947
                          Re: Joke of the Day

                          A Message From Joe For 4.4.2021

                          Comment

                          • slimslob
                            Retired

                            Site Contributor
                            25,000+ Posts
                            • May 2013
                            • 37408

                            #4948
                            Re: Joke of the Day

                            Comment

                            • Phil B.
                              Field Supervisor

                              10,000+ Posts
                              • Jul 2016
                              • 22798

                              #4949
                              Re: Joke of the Day

                              Comment

                              • slimslob
                                Retired

                                Site Contributor
                                25,000+ Posts
                                • May 2013
                                • 37408

                                #4950
                                Re: Joke of the Day

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