Joke of the Day

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  • ZOOTECH
    Senior member of CRS

    Site Contributor
    2,500+ Posts
    • Jul 2007
    • 3374
    #4816
    Re: Joke of the Day

    HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING
    YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED

    Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me
    in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next."
    They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.
    "You can't trust your eyes, if your mind is out of focus" --

      Comment

      • slimslob
        Retired

        Site Contributor
        25,000+ Posts
        • May 2013
        • 36890
        #4817
        Re: Joke of the Day

          Comment

          • slimslob
            Retired

            Site Contributor
            25,000+ Posts
            • May 2013
            • 36890
            #4818
            Re: Joke of the Day

              Comment

              • Phil B.
                Field Supervisor

                10,000+ Posts
                • Jul 2016
                • 22798
                #4819
                Re: Joke of the Day

                Originally posted by slimslob

                We've been living it for a couple of months now!

                  Comment

                  • slimslob
                    Retired

                    Site Contributor
                    25,000+ Posts
                    • May 2013
                    • 36890
                    #4820
                    Re: Joke of the Day

                      Comment

                      • slimslob
                        Retired

                        Site Contributor
                        25,000+ Posts
                        • May 2013
                        • 36890
                        #4821
                        Re: Joke of the Day

                          Comment

                          • slimslob
                            Retired

                            Site Contributor
                            25,000+ Posts
                            • May 2013
                            • 36890
                            #4822
                            Re: Joke of the Day

                              Comment

                              • slimslob
                                Retired

                                Site Contributor
                                25,000+ Posts
                                • May 2013
                                • 36890
                                #4823
                                Re: Joke of the Day

                                The Biblical Scholar
                                A YOUNG WOMAN BROUGHT HER FIANCEE HOME TO MEET HER PARENTS.

                                AFTER DINNER, HER MOTHER TOLD THE GIRL'S FATHER TO FIND OUT ABOUT THE YOUNG MAN.

                                THE FATHER INVITED THE FIANCEE TO HIS STUDY FOR A TALK.

                                "SO, WHAT ARE YOUR PLANS?" THE FATHER ASKED THE YOUNG MAN.

                                "I AM A BIBLICAL SCHOLAR," HE REPLIED.

                                "A BIBLICAL SCHOLAR, HMMM?" THE FATHER SAID.

                                "ADMIRABLE, BUT WHAT WILL YOU DO TO PROVIDE A NICE HOUSE FOR MY DAUGHTER TO LIVE IN?"

                                "I WILL STUDY," THE YOUNG MAN REPLIED, "AND GOD WILL PROVIDE FOR US."

                                "AND HOW WILL YOU BUY HER A BEAUTIFUL ENGAGEMENT RING, SUCH AS SHE DESERVES?" ASKED THE FATHER.

                                "I WILL CONCENTRATE ON MY STUDIES," THE YOUNG MAN REPLIED, "GOD WILL PROVIDE FOR US."

                                "AND CHILDREN?" ASKED THE FATHER. "HOW WILL YOU SUPPORT CHILDREN?"

                                "DON'T WORRY, SIR, GOD WILL PROVIDE," REPLIED THE FIANCEE.

                                THE CONVERSATION PROCEEDED LIKE THIS...AND EACH TIME THE FATHER QUESTIONED, THE YOUNG IDEALIST INSISTED THAT GOD WOULD PROVIDE.

                                LATER, THE MOTHER ASKED, "HOW DID YOUR TALK GO, HONEY?"

                                THE FATHER ANSWERED: "HE'S A DEMOCRAT. HE HAS NO JOB, HE HAS NO PLANS. AND HE THINKS I'M GOD."

                                  Comment

                                  • slimslob
                                    Retired

                                    Site Contributor
                                    25,000+ Posts
                                    • May 2013
                                    • 36890
                                    #4824
                                    Re: Joke of the Day

                                      Comment

                                      • slimslob
                                        Retired

                                        Site Contributor
                                        25,000+ Posts
                                        • May 2013
                                        • 36890
                                        #4825
                                        Re: Joke of the Day

                                          Comment

                                          • bob marley
                                            Service Manager

                                            1,000+ Posts
                                            • Jan 2012
                                            • 1339
                                            #4826
                                            Live for yourself and you will live in vain. Live for others, and you will live again

                                              Comment

                                              • KenB
                                                Geek Extraordinaire

                                                2,500+ Posts
                                                • Dec 2007
                                                • 3945
                                                #4827
                                                Re: Joke of the Day

                                                “I think you should treat good friends like a fine wine. That’s why I keep mine locked up in the basement.” - Tim Hawkins

                                                  Comment

                                                  • slimslob
                                                    Retired

                                                    Site Contributor
                                                    25,000+ Posts
                                                    • May 2013
                                                    • 36890
                                                    #4828
                                                    Re: Joke of the Day

                                                      Comment

                                                      • FrohnB
                                                        Service Manager

                                                        Site Contributor
                                                        1,000+ Posts
                                                        • Jul 2017
                                                        • 1919
                                                        #4829
                                                        Re: Joke of the Day

                                                        A221609B-7161-49F8-95AF-E49EF042C072.jpg

                                                        HAHAHA!! Too good not to share!
                                                        Omertà

                                                          Comment

                                                          • allan
                                                            RTFM!!

                                                            5,000+ Posts
                                                            • Apr 2010
                                                            • 5459
                                                            #4830
                                                            Re: Joke of the Day

                                                            Originally posted by slimslob
                                                            Slim are you using a special font in you posts?
                                                            Whatever

                                                              Comment

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