Joke of the Day

[fixthecopier]

Re: Joke of the Day

[fixthecopier]

Re: Joke of the Day

My wife just called me.
She said, "Three of the girls in the office have just received some flowers for Valentines Day. They are absolutely gorgeous."
I said, "Well that's probably why they've received flowers then."

[Debs1964]

Re: Joke of the Day

My wife just called me.
She said, "Three of the girls in the office have just received some flowers for Valentines Day. They are absolutely gorgeous."
I said, "Well that's probably why they've received flowers then."

As a woman I probably shouldn't have laughed quite so loud at this

I shall now take the feminist stance and tell you that post is extremely offensive and sexist

[fixthecopier]

Re: Joke of the Day

As a woman I probably shouldn't have laughed quite so loud at this

I shall now take the feminist stance and tell you that post is extremely offensive and sexist

Yep, that's one I am not repeating to my wife.

[gneebore]

Re: Joke of the Day

My wife just called me.
She said, "Three of the girls in the office have just received some flowers for Valentines Day. They are absolutely gorgeous."
I said, "Well that's probably why they've received flowers then."

Thought you were going to add "And then the fight started"

[slimslob]

Re: Joke of the Day

[Akitu]

Re: Joke of the Day

My friend that only dates Asian girls just started dating his ex-girlfriend again.
I don't know if I should tell him.

[Gazzahos]

Re: Joke of the Day

"Sepp Blatter, Valcke and I are all in a car. Who is driving? The police."

Told by the PR reprosentative at FIFA!!!!

[Akitu]

Re: Joke of the Day

My girlfriend has a tattoo of a seashell on her inner thigh. When I put my ear to it I can smell the ocean. How is this possible?

[fixthecopier]

Re: Joke of the Day

I was on vacation in Pamplona last week, and while I was there I decided to get a nice bull-related souvenir. There were certainly a lot of options, lemme tell ya. Bull hats, bull postcards, bull lamps, bull this, bull that. I was thinking about getting this one really cool shirt, but I decided "nah I don't want that bullshirt" and kept looking. Finally, I saw it. This amazing bull figurine, in brilliant opal. I looked at the price tag... ooh, $800, yikes. It was kind of a small figurine, and $800 was pretty steep, but it was just too gorgeous to pass on. I bought it and took it back to my hotel.

The next day, to my dismay, I saw that the opal was gone, and the figure had clouded over in a boring tan color. I took it back to the shop to get my $800 back. The shop owner, who had rung me up for my purchase the day before, told me that it was a color-changing bull figurine, but that most of the time it "rested" at its current tan color. He said that it was only a matter of time before it would change back to opal, or sapphire, or jade, or ruby, and he advised patience. Before turning to help another customer, he gave me a matter-of-fact shrug and concluded "Is tan bull, not constant in opal."

[fixthecopier]

Re: Joke of the Day

Donald Trump has just announced his candidacy for president



Yep, that's it, funniest damn thing I read all week.

[Akitu]

Re: Joke of the Day

My friend found out recently that he is both gay and dyslexic. He is still in Daniel.

[fixthecopier]

Re: Joke of the Day

A Priest and a Sheppard...


.. from Australia participate in a gameshow on TV. After answering all the questions, there is a tie. So both are given one final assignment. It is to write a poem in three minutes, using the word "Timbuktu". It's a city in Africa. The priest returns with the fruit of his inspiration:
"I was a father all my life, I had no children, had no wife, I read the bible through and through on my way to Timbuktu ... "
The poem makes a great impression, and the priest smells a sweet victory. But then comes the shepherd, with his poem:
"When Tim and I to Brisbane went We met three ladies cheap to rent. But they were three and we were two, So I booked one and Tim Booked Two ... "

[Lagonda]

Re: Joke of the Day

Donald Trump has just announced his candidacy for president



Yep, that's it, funniest damn thing I read all week.

Yep, 8 billion and still can't find a decent barber

[Lagonda]

Re: Joke of the Day

A Priest and a Sheppard...


.. from Australia participate in a gameshow on TV. After answering all the questions, there is a tie. So both are given one final assignment. It is to write a poem in three minutes, using the word "Timbuktu". It's a city in Africa. The priest returns with the fruit of his inspiration:
"I was a father all my life, I had no children, had no wife, I read the bible through and through on my way to Timbuktu ... "
The poem makes a great impression, and the priest smells a sweet victory. But then comes the shepherd, with his poem:
"When Tim and I to Brisbane went We met three ladies cheap to rent. But they were three and we were two, So I booked one and Tim Booked Two ... "

Can you tell me where abouts in Brisbane these "ladies" are? I shall do some further investigation into their pricing structure.

p.s. in Oz you would find stockman or shearer working on a sheep station, the only place you would find a shepherd is in the Bible