Re: Joke of the Day
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Re: Joke of the Day
Nice one Kyo Fan
Sent from my iDon't believe in marketing device using TapatalkComment
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Re: Joke of the Day
Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth. Then it just becomes a soap opera!Cthulhu for president! Why settle for the lesser evil?Comment
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Re: Joke of the Day
A colleague felt the need to interrupt us with
"Did you hear that guy complaining about the ink in the copier machine needing replaced?"
"I didn't like his toner voice".....
<groan>Comment
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Re: Joke of the Day
A customer made me a cup of tea today, I really, really wanted to steal the mug it came in
men cup.jpgThere are 10 types of people in this world, those who understand binary maths and those who don'tComment
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The greatest enemy of knowledge isn't ignorance, it is the illusion of knowledge. Stephen HawkingComment
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Re: Joke of the Day
I have met a lot of men who treat women the same way. Then when they want to settle down they wonder why no one wants them. I have always found that if you treat everyone with respect until they prove that they do not deserve it, you will get respect back.Comment
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Re: Joke of the Day
Men can be worse. The more macho, the bigger double standard they have. I was always amazed that that guys would have a good time with one type of girl, then marry another type. I would want to spend my life with someone who was fun, rather than someone that impressed my mom. And from what I have seen, if you can't have fun with the one you marry, it will not last.
That's why I dated a clown for a while. Drawback was that every time I went down on her, my face came up looking like a Picasso painting.The greatest enemy of knowledge isn't ignorance, it is the illusion of knowledge. Stephen HawkingComment
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Cthulhu for president! Why settle for the lesser evil?Comment
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Re: Joke of the Day
Married in heaven
On their way to get married, a young Catholic couple is involved in a fatal car accident. The couple found themselves sitting outside the Pearly Gates waiting for St. Peter to process them into Heaven. While waiting, they began to wonder: Could they possibly get married in Heaven? When St. Peter showed up, they asked him. St. Peter said, "I don't know. This is the first time anyone has asked. Let me go find out,'" and he left. The couple sat and waited, and waited. Two months passed and the couple were still waiting. While waiting, they began to wonder what would happen if it didn't work out; could you get a divorce in heaven? After yet another month, St. Peter finally returned, looking somewhat bedraggled. "Yes," he informed the couple, "You can get married in Heaven." "Great!" said the couple, "But we were just wondering, what if things don't work out? Could we also get a divorce in Heaven?" St. Peter, red-faced with anger, slammed his clipboard onto the ground. "What's wrong?" asked the frightened couple. "OH, COME ON!," St. Peter shouted, "It took me three months to find a priest up here! Do you have any idea how long it'll take me to find a lawyer?"Why do they call it common sense?
If it were common, wouldn't everyone have it?Comment
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Re: Joke of the Day
A man and his ever-nagging wife went on vacation to Jerusalem. While they were there, the wife passed away.
The undertaker told the husband, "You can have her shipped home for $5,000, or you can bury her here, in the Holy Land, for only $150."
The man thought about it and decided he would just have her shipped home for $5000.
The undertaker asked, "Why would you spend $5,000 to ship your wife home, when it would be wonderful to be buried here and you would spend only $150 ?"
The man replied, "Long ago a man called Jesus Christ died here, was buried here, and three days later he rose from the dead...I just can't take that chance."The greatest enemy of knowledge isn't ignorance, it is the illusion of knowledge. Stephen HawkingComment
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Re: Joke of the Day
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Re: Joke of the Day
not sure if this has already been posted here, apologies if it has
gets me everytimeComment
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Re: Joke of the Day
I was in the pub last night when the barman asked me "How come I never see you in here with Pete anymore?"
I asked him, "Would you drink with a bloke who's a liar, always late, borrows money he never pays back, always tries to squirm out of his round, jealous of everything you have, and when your back is turned he tries to fuck your wife and daughter?"
"Bloody hell! No!" he said, somewhat flabbergasted.
"Well, neither would Pete"Cthulhu for president! Why settle for the lesser evil?Comment
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