Joke of the Day

[Akitu]

Re: Joke of the Day

I told my friends I had a date with a really attractive girl. They told me she was imaginary; but the joke's on them, they are too!

[Akitu]

Re: Joke of the Day

A completely inebriated man was stumbling down the street with one foot on the curb and one foot in the gutter.
A cop pulled up and said, "I've got to take you in pal. You're obviously drunk."
The wasted man asked, "Officer, are you absolutely sure I'm drunk?"
"Yeah buddy, I'm sure," said the cop, "Let's go."
Breathing a sigh of relief, the wino said, "Thank goodness. I thought I was crippled."

[ZOOTECH]

Re: Joke of the Day

What do you call a deer with no eyes?



No eye deer.

[slimslob]

Re: Joke of the Day

[NeoMatrix]

Re: Joke of the Day

A women is wondering through her lakeside home one day looking for a quite place to settle down and read a book.
She see's her husbands boat full of fishing gear tied to the jetti.
She decides to take the boat out into the middle of the lake to find peace and quite.

A short time later a local fisheries patrol office pulls up along side the women in the boat.
Officer : "Madam I see you are out here fishing in the off season."
Women :" Oh no officer I'm not fishing, I'm just reading a book."
Officer : "It appears you have all the necessary tools, you could start at any time; I'm going to have to take you in."
Women : "Well if that's the case then Officer , I'm going to have to charge you with sexual assult."
Officer : "How can you prove that?"
Women : " Well it appears you have all the necessary tools; you could start at any time."

[emujo]

Re: Joke of the Day

What do you call a deer with no eyes?



No eye deer.

What do you call a blind dinosaur? A "Doyouthinkhesaurus Rex"...Credit Jurassic Park.

What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? A "Lickalotopus".. Emujo

[slimslob]

Re: Joke of the Day

[Akitu]

Re: Joke of the Day

What do you call a deer with no eyes?



No eye deer.

What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs? Still no eye deer.

What do you call a deer with no eyes, no legs and no balls? Still no fucking eye deer.

[Akitu]

Re: Joke of the Day

My dad was fired from his job in road work for theft.

I didn't believe it at first, but when I got home all the signs were there.

[Akitu]

Re: Joke of the Day

I was offered sex today, with a 21 year old girl. In exchange for that, I was supposed to advertise some kind of bathroom cleaner on copytechnet. Of course I declined because I am a person of high moral standards with a strong willpower. Just as strong as Ajox, the super strong bathroom cleaner. Now available scented with lemon or vanilla.

[Debs1964]

Re: Joke of the Day

This was posted to my FaceBook wall, and Emujo suggested I should repost it here, so if it makes you groan too much then all complaints should be directed at Emujo

Punography.jpg

[bigdaddy]

Re: Joke of the Day

Q: What did one eye say to the other?
A: Between you and me, something smells.

[habik]

Re: Joke of the Day

I was offered sex today, with a 21 year old girl. In exchange for that, I was supposed to advertise some kind of bathroom cleaner on copytechnet. Of course I declined because I am a person of high moral standards with a strong willpower. Just as strong as Ajox, the super strong bathroom cleaner. Now available scented with lemon or vanilla.

Well done! I just joked on my morning toast


Sent from my iDon't believe in marketing device using Tapatalk

[Akitu]

Re: Joke of the Day

What do you call a cannibal that only eats coma patients?

A vegetarian.

[Akitu]

Re: Joke of the Day

A Minneapolis couple decided to go to Florida to thaw out during a particularly icy winter. They planned to stay at the same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier. Because of hectic schedules, it was difficult to coordinate their travel schedules. So, the husband left Minneapolis and flew to Florida on Thursday, with the wife flying down the following day. The husband checked into the hotel. There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an e-mail to his wife. However, he accidentally left out one letter in her e-mail address, and without realizing his error, sent the e-mail.
Meanwhile, somewhere in Houston, a widow just returned home from her husband's funeral. He was a minister who was called home to glory following a heart attack. The widow decided to check her e-mail since she was expecting messages from relatives and friends. After reading the first message, she screamed and fainted. The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read:
To: My Loving Wife Subject: I've Arrived Date: November 18, 2004
I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now and you are allowed to send e-mails to your loved ones. I've just arrived and have been checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you then! Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was.
PS. Sure is freaking hot down here.