What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

[emujo2]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

After dealing with weeks of troubleshooting an Autostore issue, and of course, all the blame being placed on our shoulders, I was logging into a server to continue our efforts when I got "your account has been locked out "message. I asked the IT guy to reset the account and questioned why it had been locked in the 1st place. He says Oh it's probably just my Russian friends trying to hack into our system (large law firm)". I laughed at this and he says No I'm not kidding. Turns out this account (service account mind you) gets locked out several times per day, sometimes 1/2 dozen times, and each time it shuts downs the AS services. After weeks of this it never occurred to him to mention this. Emujo

[Dennis Wood]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

I provide this out of order sign to my customers, to cut down on dumb questions.




-DEVICE IS OUT OF ORDER -WARNING MACHINE SUBJECT TO BREAKDOWN DURING PERIODS OF CRITICAL NEED
A special circuit, known as the crisis detector, detects the emotional state of the operator. It produces a malfunction proportional to the need at that time. Threatening the machine with violence or the use of obscenities may soothe the user, but will only aggravate the situation. Likewise, attempts to use another machine may cause it to malfunction because they belong to the same union.
The crisis detector is reset when the service technician arrives and asks about the symptoms of the malfunction, at which time the device will work perfectly.
Keep calm and say nice things to the machine. Nothing else seems to work!

[DBToner]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

"Is it broken?" When you have everything out of the copier, screwdriver in your hand, replacing a hot roller is still a classic.

I usually tell them no it is not broke it is taken apart there is a differences.

[Coptech]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

When asked "is that thing broken again"? I respond with "there seems to be some debate on whether is it broken again or it is broken still".

[gneebore]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

Not a working tech any more, retired last year. But when out and about at a mall doing some shopping for books I over heard a really good discussion about another old topic. The "why do those hinges break all the time" Then he explained they break when you open the document feeder and push the top corner against the wall behind the machine. Which is why we required at least six inches between the wall and the back of the machine. Then I heard him when he pointed and told the manager where the covers were also scratching the paint and even put a small hole in the wall where the document feed corners where hitting the wall. Seems she did not want to hear that because the front of the copier had to line up with the front of filing cabinets. He quite simply told the customer that the hinges were not covered under contract or warranty since he had a copy of a prior service ticket that had in writing "the customer has been informed to not push the machine flat against the wall. Doing so will bend the hinges when the document feeder is lifted and the corners hit the wall" And of course I hung around long enough to over hear several "how much longer before it's fixed" And "we never had these problems with our old copier"

Just how dumb do you have to be to ignore a written instruction to not push a machine against the wall?

[Obtex]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

My colleague had a call from a client few years ago.
I dont remember the model, but it was a small fax machine.
The client tried to send the fax while he was on the phone with my colleague.
On the display was was the OFF HOOK message. The same hook he talked to my colleague.

[gneebore]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

Another little fun conversation overheard yesterday. Had to go check on some prescriptions that had not been called in by the doctor's office. Then I went and stopped at the mall to walk around have a nice ice tea and lunch. Sitting at the table next to me was a small group of people having their lunch. They did not recognize me but I knew two of them from a former customer. They were talking about computer and printer/scanning networking problems. Then the first dimwitted statement I heard was: "You mean that was not Microsoft Security that detected a virus on my computer?" Number two was: "I wasn't supposed to follow his instructions to allow him to scan my pc?" When she said that the others started laughing. Apparently the it guy was there and said he was happy he switched the server to Ubuntu and could remotely scan the network to clean the ransom ware out of the system. Seems there may have been another incident at the office there that caused him to switch the server where files were actually stored and not locally on the pc's on the desks. Then he recognized me and wanted to know if I could come back and help him set up the pc's and network scanning on his three copiers. Had to turn him down and said he had to call the office if they were still under contract. If I went and things weren't perfect then I knew the service company would invoke the "other than approved service technician" clause in their contract and rake them over the coals.

[NeoMatrix]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

When asked "is that thing broken again"? I respond with "there seems to be some debate on whether is it broken again or it is broken still".

My reply to "is it broken aaggaaain... ":

Nothing is really broken, its just usable....
Given enough money, we can repair anything.

[KenB]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

I had it happen where when I arrived to do a service call, that the customer waited all of about 30 seconds to ask, "You did bring the toner we ordered with you, right? We thought we'd save the shipping cost by having you deliver it."

Fortunately, the call didn't require toner to be added, but, seriously?

It's not totally uncommon for customers to assume that we're rolling supply wagons.

[Brettf]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

Recently has a lovely young lady (emphasis on the young, so cant be too harsh I guess) who suggested the machine was printing A3 when no A3 was loaded in the machine. After 30 mins on the phone she could not be convinced.

After a 30min drive to her site found A3 paper loaded in tray4 - lol

Expensive lesson for her lol

[Geo]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

Hi
A teacher, using a color copier wanted to know how to print white on black (tag?) paper...No, she did not accept my explanation/s and complained to the school principal....SMH...

[KenB]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

Hi
A teacher, using a color copier wanted to know how to print white on black (tag?) paper...No, she did not accept my explanation/s and complained to the school principal....SMH...

Oddly enough, there actually IS such a thing as white toner. Same goes for clear.

Who knew?

I saw both on a Ricoh production color machine at a very large print shop a few months ago.

[Hansoon]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

Some analog Minolta's had it in the old days. Also there is an OKI laserprinter with white toner.

Hans

[Phil B.]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

Some analog Minolta's had it in the old days. Also there is an OKI laserprinter with white toner.

Hans

Yes the Okidata is the 941e it has white and clear toner... rumor was they were working on a metallic blue also when I was in Jersey getting trained on the unit.

[PJB]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

We had a customer wanting to order GREEN toner because they had "run out" of it.....