Joke of the Day

[fixthecopier]

Re: Joke of the Day

A couple of nights ago, I was out for a few drinks with some friends and had a few too many beers and then topped it off with a margarita. Not a good idea.
Knowing full well I was at least slightly over the limit, I did something I've never done before: I took a taxi home
Sure enough i pass a police road block but because it was a taxi they waved it past.
I arrived home safely without incident, which was a real surprise.
I have never driven a taxi before, am not sure where i got it.

[fixthecopier]

Re: Joke of the Day

[Tonerbomb]

Re: Joke of the Day

and that address would be: SEF main st, and LEF main st..............................

[slimslob]

[Iowatech]

Re: Joke of the Day

How to explain yourself to a doctor.

[slimslob]

Re: Joke of the Day

[bob marley]

Re: Joke of the Day

joke01.jpg

[fixthecopier]

Re: Joke of the Day

Two hunters were in the forest.They come across a very deep hole and one hunter says to the other "How deep is that?" They both find a rusty anvil and throw it in. The anvil falls so far that the hunters don't hear it hit the bottom but then they see a goat sprinting past them and jump into the hole. They stand by the hole thinking about what just happened until a farmer comes along. The farmer says "Have you seen my goat Becky?" The hunters reply, "Yeah, it ran passed us and jumped into that hole." The farmer says, "That's impossible. She couldn't have done that, she was chained to an anvil."

[slimslob]

Re: Joke of the Day



Linda Burnett, 23, a resident of San Diego, was visiting her in-laws and while there went to a nearby supermarket to pick up some groceries. Later, her husband noticed her sitting in her car in the driveway with the windows rolled up and with her eyes closed, with both hands behind the back of her head. He became concerned and walked over to the car. He noticed that Linda's eyes were now open and she looked very strange. He asked her if she was okay, and Linda replied that she had been shot in the back of the head and had been holding her brains in for over an hour.
The husband called the paramedics, who broke into the car because the doors were locked and Linda refused to remove her hands from her head. When they finally got in, they found that Linda had a wad of bread dough on the back of her head.
A Pillsbury biscuit canister had exploded from the heat, making a loud noise that sounded like a gunshot, and the wad of dough hit her in the back of her head. When she reached back to find out what it was, she felt the dough and thought it was her brains. She initially passed out, but quickly recovered.
Linda is a blonde, a Democrat, and an Obama supporter, but that could all be a coincidence.
The defective biscuit canister was analyzed and the expiration date was from 2008, so it was determined to be Bush's fault.

[fixthecopier]

Re: Joke of the Day

The 75-year-old had just finished his morning jog and wasn't even short of breath.
The 70-year-old was amazed at the guy's stamina and asked him what he did to have so much energy.
The 75-year-old said, "well, I eat rye bread every day. It keeps your energy level high and you'll have great stamina with the ladies."
So, on the way home the 70-year-old stopped at the bakery. As he was looking around, the saleslady asked if he needed any help.
He said, "do you have any rye bread?"
She said, "yes, there's a whole shelf of it. Would you like some?"
He said, "I want five loaves."
She said, "my goodness, five loaves! By the time you get to the 3rd loaf, it'll be hard."
He replied, "I can't believe everybody knows about this shit except me!?"

[bob marley]

Re: Joke of the Day

A teacher is teaching a class and she sees that Johnny isn't paying attention, so she
asks him, "If there are three ducks sitting on a fence, and you shoot one, how many are
left?" Johnny says, "None." The teacher asks, "Why?" Johnny says, "Because the shot
scared them all off." The teacher says , "No, two, but I like how you're thinking." Johnny
asks the teacher , " If you see three women walking out of an ice cream parlor , one is
licking her ice cream , one is sucking her ice cream , and one is biting her ice cream,
which one is married ? " The teacher says, "The one sucking her ice cream." Johnny
says, "No, the one with the wedding ring, but I like how you're thinking!"

[Iowatech]

Re: Joke of the Day

How to write a self evaluation.

[slimslob]

Re: Joke of the Day

[slimslob]

Re: Joke of the Day

One day a florist went to a barber for a haircut. After the cut, he
asked about his bill, and the barber replied, 'I cannot accept money
from you, I'm doing community service this week.'
The florist was pleased and left the shop.
When the barber went to open his shop the next morning, there was a
'thank you' card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door.
Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill,
the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing
community service this week.' The cop was happy and left the shop.
The next morning when the barber went to open up, there was a 'thank
you' card and a dozen doughnuts waiting for him at his door.
Then a Member of Congress came in for a haircut, and when he went to
pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from
you. I'm doing community service this week.' The Member of Congress
was very happy and left the shop.
The next morning, when the barber went to open up, there were a dozen
Members of Congress lined up waiting for a free hair cut And that, my friends, illustrates the fundamental difference between
the citizens of our country and the politicians who run it.

[blsquires]

Re: Joke of the Day

she went to the doctors suffering from wind problems .the doctor checked her over and said i dont think i can help you but i know a Chinese herbalist who possibly can.
she went to see the herbalist who said i want you to take off all your clothes then get down on all fours and move to the other side of the room.
so she did ,then he said i want you to turn around and make your way back when she got back she said what have you found .he said you are suffering from zackery disease.
oh dear she said what is that .he said your face looks exackry like your arsehole and the farts dont know which way to go .