Joke of the Day

[ZOOTECH]

Re: Joke of the Day

For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies.

1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans...

5. The Germans drink a lot of beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.


CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.

[slimslob]

Re: Joke of the Day

[slimslob]

Re: Joke of the Day

https://www.facebook.com/maromalone.manning/videos/535280786584074/

[Iowatech]

Re: Joke of the Day

https://imgur.com/gallery/KAIWYx0

[theengel]

Re: Joke of the Day

Common guys. Links? Really?

[slimslob]

Re: Joke of the Day

Common guys. Links? Really?

YES when they are funny.

[Lagonda]

Re: Joke of the Day

YES when they are funny.

Well they would be if you didn't have a IT manager that suffers badly from a deep and irrational fear that he is being targeted by Russian hacking gangs and so has blocked access to anything non work related. I'm waiting for his next attack and then find that forums are on his banned list.

[slimslob]

Re: Joke of the Day

Well they would be if you didn't have a IT manager that suffers badly from a deep and irrational fear that he is being targeted by Russian hacking gangs and so has blocked access to anything non work related. I'm waiting for his next attack and then find that forums are on his banned list.

Simple solution. Use your computer at home. I don't have time at work to get on CTN.

[fixthecopier]

[NeoMatrix]

Re: Joke of the Day

Well they would be if you didn't have a IT manager that suffers badly from a deep and irrational fear that he is being targeted by Russian hacking gangs and so has blocked access to anything non work related. I'm waiting for his next attack and then find that forums are on his banned list.

haha... Paranoia... Just because a person is paranoid does mean they're still not out to get him.

I've witness first hand 4 cyber hacking attacks to customers. 2 attacks lost $2000 each, one attack net $4000 and one ripper scam net around $60,000 so I'm informed. There are some other attacks but I'm not sure about the of the source of the information. BTW it was Russian crypto-locker algorithm hacking software used for the attack. Two hard drive sources where sent to the Australian Federal Police for confirmation.

The I.T. guys are damned if they do and damned if they don't...

All's fair in Luv an internet war....



(Appology for off topic.....)

[Lagonda]

Re: Joke of the Day

Simple solution. Use your computer at home. I don't have time at work to get on CTN.

You think about photocopiers when you're not at work? You need help!

[Iowatech]

Re: Joke of the Day

Crap. I haven't put my "Beware of links" warning in many of my posts lately. Sorry about that.
I'll do better, I promise.

[slimslob]

Re: Joke of the Day

You think about photocopiers when you're not at work? You need help!

No, I enjoy helping others.

[fixthecopier]

Re: Joke of the Day

What is the difference between a thief and a politician?

Thief: They steal your money then run
Politician: They run and then steal your money

[fixthecopier]

Re: Joke of the Day

A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack. "Miss Whack, I'd like to get a $30,000 loan to take a vacation." Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick, and that it's okay, he knows the bank manager. Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral. The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed. Very confused, Patty explains that she'll have to consult with the bank manager and disappears into a back office. She finds the manager and says, "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000, and he wants to use this as collateral." She holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what in the world is this?" The bank manager looks back at her and says... "It's a knick-knack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone."