Joke of the Day

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  • fixthecopier
    ALIEN OVERLORD

    2,500+ Posts
    • Apr 2008
    • 4713
    #3346
    Re: Joke of the Day

    Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates. 'In honor of this holy season' Saint Peter said, 'You must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven.' The Englishman fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. 'It's a candle', he said. 'You may pass through the pearly gates' Saint Peter said. The Scotsman reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said, 'They're bells.' Saint Peter said 'You may pass through the pearly gates'. The Irishman started searching desperately through his pockets and finally pulled out a pair of women's panties. St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, 'And just what do those symbolize?' The Irishman replied, 'These are Carol's'
    And So The Christmas Season begins......and I sure hope the jokes get better.
    The greatest enemy of knowledge isn't ignorance, it is the illusion of knowledge. Stephen Hawking

      Comment

      • copyman
        Owner / Technician

        Site Contributor
        2,500+ Posts
        • Sep 2005
        • 4646
        #3347
        Re: Joke of the Day

        Why is a dumb blonde secretary like a broken copier?

        You don't appreciate them until they "go down" on you.......

          Comment

          • slimslob
            Retired

            Site Contributor
            25,000+ Posts
            • May 2013
            • 37400
            #3348
            Re: Joke of the Day

              Comment

              • fixthecopier
                ALIEN OVERLORD

                2,500+ Posts
                • Apr 2008
                • 4713
                #3349
                Re: Joke of the Day

                Originally posted by slimslob

                I confess, back in my younger days I had done that.
                The greatest enemy of knowledge isn't ignorance, it is the illusion of knowledge. Stephen Hawking

                  Comment

                  • fixthecopier
                    ALIEN OVERLORD

                    2,500+ Posts
                    • Apr 2008
                    • 4713
                    #3350
                    Re: Joke of the Day

                    A boy was born without a body, no arms, no legs, he was just a head.
                    So for his 18th birthday his dad takes him the pub for his first pint. He takes a sip and BOOM - his body pops out. "Take another sip!" everyone shouts, then BOOM - his arms pop out. "Another!" everyone chants, so he takes another sip and his legs pop out.
                    The boy is really happy and he runs outside in excitement and he's hit by an oncoming truck and killed instantly.
                    "What a shame" his dad said.
                    "He should have quit while he was ahead"
                    The greatest enemy of knowledge isn't ignorance, it is the illusion of knowledge. Stephen Hawking

                      Comment

                      • fixthecopier
                        ALIEN OVERLORD

                        2,500+ Posts
                        • Apr 2008
                        • 4713
                        #3351
                        Re: Joke of the Day

                        The greatest enemy of knowledge isn't ignorance, it is the illusion of knowledge. Stephen Hawking

                          Comment

                          • ZOOTECH
                            Senior member of CRS

                            Site Contributor
                            2,500+ Posts
                            • Jul 2007
                            • 3375
                            #3352
                            Re: Joke of the Day

                            Road Rage gone bad: LiveLeak.com - Road Rage - Trust me, this is not the outcome you were expecting
                            "You can't trust your eyes, if your mind is out of focus" --

                              Comment

                              • fixthecopier
                                ALIEN OVERLORD

                                2,500+ Posts
                                • Apr 2008
                                • 4713
                                #3353
                                Re: Joke of the Day

                                Originally posted by ZOOTECH
                                Road Rage gone bad: LiveLeak.com - Road Rage - Trust me, this is not the outcome you were expecting

                                You were correct. Did not see that coming.
                                The greatest enemy of knowledge isn't ignorance, it is the illusion of knowledge. Stephen Hawking

                                  Comment

                                  • KenB
                                    Geek Extraordinaire

                                    2,500+ Posts
                                    • Dec 2007
                                    • 3944
                                    #3354
                                    Re: Joke of the Day

                                    Originally posted by fixthecopier
                                    You were correct. Did not see that coming.
                                    Just try to explain that one to the police....or the emergency room...or your insurance company...
                                    “I think you should treat good friends like a fine wine. That’s why I keep mine locked up in the basement.” - Tim Hawkins

                                      Comment

                                      • blackcat4866
                                        Master Of The Obvious

                                        Site Contributor
                                        10,000+ Posts
                                        • Jul 2007
                                        • 22999
                                        #3355
                                        Re: Joke of the Day

                                        Originally posted by ZOOTECH
                                        Road Rage gone bad: LiveLeak.com - Road Rage - Trust me, this is not the outcome you were expecting
                                        You don't see that every day. =^..^=
                                        If you'd like a serious answer to your request:
                                        1) demonstrate that you've read the manual
                                        2) demonstrate that you made some attempt to fix it.
                                        3) if you're going to ask about jams include the jam code.
                                        4) if you're going to ask about an error code include the error code.
                                        5) You are the person onsite. Only you can make observations.

                                        blackcat: Master Of The Obvious =^..^=

                                          Comment

                                          • Iowatech
                                            Not a service manager

                                            2,500+ Posts
                                            • Dec 2009
                                            • 3930
                                            #3356
                                            Re: Joke of the Day

                                            Originally posted by blackcat4866
                                            You don't see that every day. =^..^=
                                            Just goes to show you can never be totally sure who's in the vehicle next to you.
                                            Heh, kind of reminds me of the time I was heading home from my brother's place and a stretch limo passed me. The back window was open and there were three or four people looking out with Groucho Marx masks on. I was laughing so hard I almost had to pull off the Interstate.

                                              Comment

                                              • bob marley
                                                Service Manager

                                                1,000+ Posts
                                                • Jan 2012
                                                • 1339
                                                #3357
                                                Re: Joke of the Day

                                                3 drunk guys entered a taxi .The taxi driver knew that they were drunk so he started the engine
                                                and turned it of again .He told them : we have reached . The first guy gave him money and the
                                                2nd guy said : thank u .The 3rd guy gave the driver a slap .

                                                The driver was shocked , thinking the 3rd drunk knew what he did . But he asked what is that for.
                                                The 3rd guy replied : control your speed next time you nearly killed us
                                                Live for yourself and you will live in vain. Live for others, and you will live again

                                                  Comment

                                                  • slimslob
                                                    Retired

                                                    Site Contributor
                                                    25,000+ Posts
                                                    • May 2013
                                                    • 37400
                                                    #3358
                                                    Re: Joke of the Day

                                                      Comment

                                                      • KenB
                                                        Geek Extraordinaire

                                                        2,500+ Posts
                                                        • Dec 2007
                                                        • 3944
                                                        #3359
                                                        Re: Joke of the Day

                                                        Originally posted by slimslob
                                                        Oddly enough, about 3 years ago I worked on a team that was responsible for putting the data together and printing signs just like this one for a grocery chain.

                                                        Heads would have rolled if we ever had anything like this print.
                                                        “I think you should treat good friends like a fine wine. That’s why I keep mine locked up in the basement.” - Tim Hawkins

                                                          Comment

                                                          • subaro
                                                            Service Manager

                                                            1,000+ Posts
                                                            • Oct 2010
                                                            • 1274
                                                            #3360
                                                            Re: Joke of the Day

                                                            lots of entertainment here boys. good fun the way it suppose to be.


                                                            THE ONLY THING FOR EVIL TO TRIUMPH IS FOR GOOD MEN TO DO NOTHING..........edmund burke

                                                              Comment

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