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Re: Joke of the Day
they had a healing session at the local hall.the healer said I want everyone with a problem to come out to the front and the lord will heal you .
no one moved so he said have faith and come up to me.
a bloke walked to the front and the preacher said what is your name and problem.
he said my name is bill and I have a lithp and I have lithped all my life and I would like to be cured .
the preacher said go behind the screen have faith and you will be cured.
another bloke limped up using two crutches .whats your name and whats your problem said the preacher.
my name is sid and I cant walk without these crutches.go behind the screen and have faith and you will be cured.
he said to the congregation all hold hands and keep chanting sid and bill will be cured over and over.
they started to chant and the preacher said sid throw one of your crutches over the screen ,lo and behold a crutch came flying over the screen .
he then said sid throw your other crutch over the screen ,lo and behold the other crutch came flying over the screen .
then there was a terrible crashing and banging.the preacher said bill what has happened and bill said thids fell overComment
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Re: Joke of the Day
How you know you have had too much and it's time to quit drinking...http://i.imgur.com/yF2RWQl.jpgThe greatest enemy of knowledge isn't ignorance, it is the illusion of knowledge. Stephen HawkingComment
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Re: Joke of the Day
What does the highest paid WNBA player make?
Sandwiches.Cthulhu for president! Why settle for the lesser evil?Comment
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The greatest enemy of knowledge isn't ignorance, it is the illusion of knowledge. Stephen HawkingComment
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Re: Joke of the Day
Working people frequently ask retired people what they do to make their days
interesting. Well, for example, the other day I went into town and visited a shop.
When I came out, there was a cop writing out a parking ticket. I went up to him and I
said, 'Come on, man, how about giving a senior citizen a break?' He ignored me and
continued writing the ticket. I called him an "asshole". He glared at me and started
writing another ticket for having worn-out tires. So I called him a "shit head". He
finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then, he started
writing more tickets. This went on for about 20 minutes. The more I abused him,
the more tickets he wrote. Just after the Officer left, my bus arrived, and I got on it
and went home. I always look for cars with "OBAMA 2012 stickers. I try to have a little
fun each day now that I'm retired. It's important at my age.Comment
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Re: Joke of the Day
Helium walks into a bar.
The bartender says, "We don't serve noble gasses in here."
Helium doesn't react.Comment
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The greatest enemy of knowledge isn't ignorance, it is the illusion of knowledge. Stephen HawkingComment
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Re: Joke of the Day
A king has a slutty daughter who has had sex with practically everyone in the Kingdom. The King's services are needed elsewhere so he has to leave the Kingdom temporarily. Before he leaves he puts his faith in three of his most loyal men. He tells them to protect her and to ensure she doesn't mess around with other guys. For more cautious measures, the King slides a knife into his daughters vagina and asshole to ensure a nasty surprise for any man willing to bang her. The King leaves and before you know it he's back from his trip. The King asks for his 3 men to appear in front of him and asks if there were any problems? They all reply, "No". The King then asks for the men to pull their pants down. The first man has a cut on his penis and is escorted away as requested by the King. The second also has a cut and given the same treatment. The third man however has an uncut penis. The King says "Thank you so much for being honest and faithful to me. As King I shall reward you with anything you ask for. What would you like?" The third man replies "Pftpftblublpftp".Cthulhu for president! Why settle for the lesser evil?Comment
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Re: Joke of the Day
If someone knows where to have these made as stickers, I want several. http://imgur.com/dm76HEYThe greatest enemy of knowledge isn't ignorance, it is the illusion of knowledge. Stephen HawkingComment
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The greatest enemy of knowledge isn't ignorance, it is the illusion of knowledge. Stephen HawkingComment
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Re: Joke of the Day
You know spring is here when you see your first Robin...http://i.imgur.com/N00LTvm.jpgThe greatest enemy of knowledge isn't ignorance, it is the illusion of knowledge. Stephen HawkingComment
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Cthulhu for president! Why settle for the lesser evil?Comment
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