What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

[blackcat4866]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

My wife works in a medical related industry. One day she request a physicians order be faxed to her office. When it arrived, there were a few corrections to be made. The sender re-faxed the corrected document ... then requested that the original be faxed back when she was finished with it.

It took 5 minutes of explaining to convince the sender that she was still holding the original in her hand. =^..^=

[nekowaiidesu]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

My manager told me about this story.. I'm not sure if he's taking me for a ride with some urban legend or if this really did happen - the latter is not unbelievable. It was quite some time ago I heard this, so I'm pretty vague. It seemed believable since my manager included the company name and many other details that I've since forgotten... but here's the gist of it:

So one of the sales guys years ago went his clients to push a new cross-cut shredder that came into stock. He was at one of the businesses, owned by an old man (a ruthless businessman too), giving his presentation about the benefits of the shredder; showing off how fast it is, how many pages it can take, etc etc. Seemed to him most of the company were impressed, but what our salesman really needed was to get the big-boss on board since it would ultimately be his decision if his company invests in a bunch of these shredders or not.

He invites the man up to test the machine for himself. Boss says "sure, I have this paper here actually" as he approaches. Inserts his document into the shredder and watches the blades cross cut the page into confetti. He pauses, not entirely impressed, looks at the sales guy and asks "So how long does it take for the first copy to come out?"

[Synthohol]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

in my first year in this biz i went into an account and had to pee.
i was brought to the machine for CQ problem, i asked for the mens room key and she told me her boss gave explicit instructions not to let me "leave" until the issue was resolved.
no this didnt go the way your mind is headed, so i asked again and said id only be a minute. she said she didnt want to be fired for letting me "leave" the machine.
urgency level 9 is now in play so thinking about all the career choices id have if i just up and did something stupid.
i said to her "so if i find the problem i can have the bathroom key?" she said absolutely.
i reached in my toolbag, grabbed my little hammer and opened the doc feeder and smashed the platen glass.
i said "i found the problem and have to order the part so can i NOW have the key?"
she gave me the key, i took care of business, grabbed my tools and left the key in the pile of shards and left.
never heard from that customer again. they didnt even call my office to complain.
needless to say i closed the ticket complete.

[ZOOTECH]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

in my first year in this biz i went into an account and had to pee.
i was brought to the machine for CQ problem, i asked for the mens room key and she told me her boss gave explicit instructions not to let me "leave" until the issue was resolved.
no this didnt go the way your mind is headed, so i asked again and said id only be a minute. she said she didnt want to be fired for letting me "leave" the machine.
urgency level 9 is now in play so thinking about all the career choices id have if i just up and did something stupid.
i said to her "so if i find the problem i can have the bathroom key?" she said absolutely.
i reached in my toolbag, grabbed my little hammer and opened the doc feeder and smashed the platen glass.
i said "i found the problem and have to order the part so can i NOW have the key?"
she gave me the key, i took care of business, grabbed my tools and left the key in the pile of shards and left.
never heard from that customer again. they didnt even call my office to complain.
needless to say i closed the ticket complete.

I might have just opened the front door, and pissed (with the power cord unplugged).

[NeoMatrix]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

I might have just opened the front door, and pissed (with the power cord unplugged).

Whaaat.... Where's is your spirit of adventure... leave the power cord plugged in.....

I stepped over an electric fence one day an got zapped(40Kv) on my right inside leg just below my right testicle.... Oh sh!!!!!!t yeeeer... NOT RECOMMENDED for the faint hearted.... Took me ten minutes to get off the ground, an at least another hour of "you look white ,are you alright dear" from my wife.

[roho]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

Whaaat.... Where's is your spirit of adventure... leave the power cord plugged in.....

I stepped over an electric fence one day an got zapped(40Kv) on my right inside leg just below my right testicle.... Oh sh!!!!!!t yeeeer... NOT RECOMMENDED for the faint hearted.... Took me ten minutes to get off the ground, an at least another hour of "you look white ,are you alright dear" from my wife.

Grew up on a farm, and the old man had installed a electrical fence. He went to show off wearing rubber boots and held the line. My brother, who wasn't wearing rubber boots was intriqued and grabbed the old mans' arm, zapping them both. Good thing it was a pulse and not steady, but that was a priceless moment. The look those two had!

[SwisSeV]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

Customer today came in our copyshop with USB stick with recorded bussines meeting mp3 file.He wanted to have printed text of the meeting.

All you had to do was send it to Speechpad and double their rates as a "service fee". Gotta make that money wherever you can find it these days.

[NeoMatrix]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

Grew up on a farm, and the old man had installed a electrical fence. He went to show off wearing rubber boots and held the line. My brother, who wasn't wearing rubber boots was intriqued and grabbed the old mans' arm, zapping them both. Good thing it was a pulse and not steady, but that was a priceless moment. The look those two had!

The smaller Horse paddock size pulsed Electric fences are about 5-10Kv at around 10ma with a perimeter up to 5-10km. The bigger cattle property pulsed electrical fences out west here pack about 20kv-40kv around ~50ma with a perimeter upward of 50km. The closer to the property Homestead power supply the more the darn mule kicks. Not something your want to place you tongue on to test if it's working. Trust me, I'm now a veteran expert on electrical fences, I have the T-shirt....

[slimslob]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

Whaaat.... Where's is your spirit of adventure... leave the power cord plugged in.....

I stepped over an electric fence one day an got zapped(40Kv) on my right inside leg just below my right testicle.... Oh sh!!!!!!t yeeeer... NOT RECOMMENDED for the faint hearted.... Took me ten minutes to get off the ground, an at least another hour of "you look white ,are you alright dear" from my wife.

My high school auto shop had a spark plug tester that had a pin hole in the rubber boot that covered the clip for connecting to the spark plug. If you didn't get enough sleep the night before and forgot to let go of the boot before hitting the test button, you got woken up immediately.

[Synthohol]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

Me- there are staples stuck in the adf again, is there any way you can train your users not to throw removed staples wherever they want?
Customer- what do you mean? We dont throw staples in the machine.
Me- well someones aim got better this week.tmp_30187-20160425_132133415702171.jpg

[kingpd@businessprints.net]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

Ha. At least they took the staples out. I've seen k-12 teachers of all people put docs in a feeder without removing the staples or worse put a paper clipped stack of docs in. oi veh.

Me- there are staples stuck in the adf again, is there any way you can train your users not to throw removed staples wherever they want?
Customer- what do you mean? We dont throw staples in the machine.
Me- well someones aim got better this week.[ATTACH=CONFIG]32692[/ATTACH]

[SwisSeV]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

Me- there are staples stuck in the adf again, is there any way you can train your users not to throw removed staples wherever they want?
Customer- what do you mean? We dont throw staples in the machine.
Me- well someones aim got better this week.[ATTACH=CONFIG]32692[/ATTACH]

That is a terrifying scene. I can't believe how sloppy those users are.

[Lagonda]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

Me- there are staples stuck in the adf again, is there any way you can train your users not to throw removed staples wherever they want?
Customer- what do you mean? We dont throw staples in the machine.

Me- didn't say a thing, just pulled the bridge unit out of copier, held it upside down over her desk and shook it. Wish I'd taken a photo of the look on her face as a handful of staples rained down on her desk.

[skookumchuck]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

I have seen literally that many staples INSIDE a document feeder. Some were hanging on the wires above the circuit board inside. The result of hundreds or thousands of stapled packets through it.

[NeoMatrix]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

My high school auto shop had a spark plug tester that had a pin hole in the rubber boot that covered the clip for connecting to the spark plug. If you didn't get enough sleep the night before and forgot to let go of the boot before hitting the test button, you got woken up immediately.

I watched an old motor mechanic one day testing for an V8 engine misfire. He pulled the spark plug rubber caps off a running V8 motor. He pulled two plugs off at a time, his whole body does a break dance move that would make Michael Jackson envious , but he just puts them back on the spark plugs an moves to the next one. Some people's natural body water is more alkaline than others, that allows them to do this sort of activity.

My lawn mower spark plug boots quite enough for me...