What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

[mrwho]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

Just yesterday after repairing the fuser of a MP301 and while testing the machine out while on the company of a customer's employee, another one comes I don't know from where and tells that because I was working on the machine all printers disappeared from his computer.

Fortunately the girl accompanying me was computer literate and told him that wasn't possible.

[nottoosharp]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

The stupidest things ever said by customers:
Me: Did someone take out the fuser? ( holding broken fuser)
Them: no, I don't think anyone here is smart enough to do that.


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[Setright]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

Having installed a new high-volume digital printer....to replace an older version from a competing brand:

Client, printing on 350gram/m2: "The paper is very warm when it leaves the machine."

Me: "Yes, that's how we fuse toner to the paper, and 350gram/m2 means surface temperature around 200, so that will feel warm."

Client: The old machine didn't heat the paper.

[kingarthur]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

Had a customer complain that her new bizhub was printing too dark & wanted it lightened, I went around to see her, and said I thought it was perfect, she replied, that her old m/c printed everything in a fuzzy grey and that's what they wanted with their new m/c....

[fixthecopier]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

We have this customer that is a psyc office. At one point they hired an office manager who was a complete bitch. She wrote a bad online review of our company over some minor bullshit, I think it was over paying overage charges one month. The owner caved and ate the charges but she refused to remove the review. Months later I am delivering toner. The machine is waiting on the black so I installed it. The bitch calls the shop raising hell because when I installed the toner, I somehow caused all of their computers to drop off the network. When I went back a few months later, she had been fired, the girls in the office apologized and removed the bad review.

[gneebore]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

Customer placed a service call saying no one could print. When I get there I find they all had new computers. Told her I would need to reinstall the print drivers. Computers were all locked down to the point where it was asking for an administrator password to add a printer. I told her she would have to contact her IT for the password. And she said I don't understand why you don't know the password to install the printer, it is your printer isn't it? I said you need the computer password, there is no way I would know the password to your BRAND NEW computers. She got frustrated and asked me to leave. Didn't even leave the parking lot when my boss called and said the customer just called him and told him I was very rude and not at all helpful.

Very long time ago when typewriters could be installed as printers we sold a new electronic typewriter to a company. I went and installed it. Took the manufacturers write protected disk out of the box with the typewriter. Got the (this is how long ago flashback) parallel cable hooked up and put the driver disk in to set up the drivers. Pc does not read disk. I pulled it out and 1/4 inch of dust is on the disk, 5 1/4 floppy btw. Cleaned it off and reinserted the disk and finally the pc read the disk and installed the drivers. However I did notice a weird noise from the hard drive when it was copying the drivers, and when the user pulled up a file to print on the typewriter. I put it on the delivery ticket that they needed their computer tech to check the pc for possible hard drive problems. I made them initial that line on the ticket. Three months later they called and demanded we pay for a new hard drive since I was the last person who installed anything on it and their computer tech (contractor) said it had to be my fault. We refused and they threatened to sue us. Had to point out they were warned to have their computer tech check the hard drive three months ago. Had to have someone from the manufacturer of the typewriter explain their software was certified virus free which is why the drivers were on a write protected disk and there was no known virus that would cause a hard drive to fail to be listed in the bios, like theirs was. It was an equipment failure. We lost a customer over that. And we quit installing printer drivers after that. It was hand the disks over and have the customer do the installation while I watched. Explained it as simply teaching them how to do it on other pc's if they needed to upgrade their computer or swap the typewriter/printer to a different office.

[nmfaxman]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

Having installed a new high-volume digital printer....to replace an older version from a competing brand:

Client, printing on 350gram/m2: "The paper is very warm when it leaves the machine."

Me: "Yes, that's how we fuse toner to the paper, and 350gram/m2 means surface temperature around 200, so that will feel warm."

Client: The old machine didn't heat the paper.

Old machine could have been a Canon 120/125 that used pressure to fuse the toner.
Of course that machine is over 25 years old.
Only cold pressure fusing I can remember after all these years.

[blackcat4866]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

Old machine could have been a Canon 120/125 that used pressure to fuse the toner.
Of course that machine is over 25 years old.
Only cold pressure fusing I can remember after all these years.

Also Mita 500D, 600D, 800D, 900D.

I remember the first call I did on the Canon 120. I'm looking all around the machine (doing the "grope") to find the main power switch. There is no main power switch, just a Start button. I felt particularly foolish right then. =^..^=

[nottoosharp]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

We had (HAD) a time & material customer that bought a couple Konica Minolta machines online. He insisted he was only going to run b/w because the toner, and color DV prices are stupid high. Close to a grand for color DV. He called for a noise coming from the machine. I'm a sharp guy. It's really all I've trained on, but an mfp is an mfp is an mfp. So I go to work tracking down the issue. I finally track it to the toner pipe. It's been a couple hours, and I can't fix it. Let him know I'll have the boss get back to him. He calls before I can get back to the shop and is throwing a fit. Boss goes to figure out what I did wrong. Turns out this guy has been refilling his toner carts. He drilled holes in them. Well the shavings have made it through the system and clogged them tight.


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[gneebore]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

We had (HAD) a time & material customer that bought a couple Konica Minolta machines online. He insisted he was only going to run b/w because the toner, and color DV prices are stupid high. Close to a grand for color DV. He called for a noise coming from the machine. I'm a sharp guy. It's really all I've trained on, but an mfp is an mfp is an mfp. So I go to work tracking down the issue. I finally track it to the toner pipe. It's been a couple hours, and I can't fix it. Let him know I'll have the boss get back to him. He calls before I can get back to the shop and is throwing a fit. Boss goes to figure out what I did wrong. Turns out this guy has been refilling his toner carts. He drilled holes in them. Well the shavings have made it through the system and clogged them tight.


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Like a customer we had once with a Konica Minolta color copier. They ran out of color toners so went ahead and clipped the lockouts on the black toners and used them instead of the color cartridges. Then had a fit when we gave them the estimate to replace the color developer units. So they just ordered color toners and called an out of town company to come in and fix the poor color quality. I think they eventually did buy a new used machine instead.

[Phrag]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

"You have to fix it NOW, it's a patient critical printer!"





So has there been a huge medical break through while I wasn't looking and they now use printers as part of a medical procedure?
So you can't print labels out because you insist on trying use cut price El Cheapo labels and they've now jammed the printer solid?
Tough, write them out by hand.

I wonder if they use El Cheapo sutures as well.

[shamgar1981]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

"You have to fix it NOW, it's a patient critical printer!"





So has there been a huge medical break through while I wasn't looking and they now use printers as part of a medical procedure?
So you can't print labels out because you insist on trying use cut price El Cheapo labels and they've now jammed the printer solid?
Tough, write them out by hand.

Don't talk to me about labels, I'm the sole printer tech at a company that does full computer systems just for Pharmacies. You know, the ones that print labels to go on all your pill bottles. You become very familiar with with the effect poor quality, custom designed labels can do to a printer. On the upside I only have to worry about 4-6 models of printer that I work on at any given time.

[shamgar1981]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

I used to work on Savin Liquid toner V-35 style machines that would get gummed up with dried out toner in the toner tank gears. The gears would stop turning and the drive belt would make a horrible loud noise. The toner mixes with a clear dispersant fluid that we also use to clean the machines. I keep a squeeze bottle filled with the clear dispersant to service the machines. It was common for these tank gears to get stuck with dried toner and just wetting them with dispersant would fix it.

Customer, "Our machine is making a horrible loud noise. I really think it's possessed"

Me, "Possessed you say? I think I can handle that. (take out my dispersant bottle) It's a good thing I remembered to bring my holy water with me. (turns on machine with front door jumped, machine makes loud noise) BEGONE EVIL SPIRIT! (squirts dispersant on the tank gears, noise suddenly stops and machine runs quiet)"

Customer, "HOLY CRAP!!!!!"

I wish it were that easy with the Kyocera 4200's when they start making noise.

[sibleyrc]

Re: Sure...why not!

[QUOTE=Jimbo1;60287]You are doing a major PM and the copier is completely gutted.

Customer walks up..."Could I make just one copy???????"

That's when I back up and say "Sure go right ahead".

[gneebore]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

Don't talk to me about labels, I'm the sole printer tech at a company that does full computer systems just for Pharmacies. You know, the ones that print labels to go on all your pill bottles. You become very familiar with with the effect poor quality, custom designed labels can do to a printer. On the upside I only have to worry about 4-6 models of printer that I work on at any given time.

Got to thinking about this and gummed labels in copiers and a story a friend told me. There is a brand of label sheets to be used in printers. You can print an entire sheet of twenty labels at once in a desktop HP printer. Box actually had a warning not to use in high speed copies or printers. Well one customer decided to print fifty sheets of them on a Sharp color copier. Guess what peeled off on the transfer belt, two drums and of course the fuser and feed tray pick up rollers. He had to replace the separation belt assembly, the two drums and could clean the fuser snf feed rolls. The really stupid part was three weeks later the very same customer had a volunteer that ignored the printed warning on the front of the copier to "DO NOT PUT LABEL SHEETS IN COPIER," because she needed to make fifty sheets of labels for mailing again. And of course it did the same thing. The customer was not very happy when informed they were paying for the parts because they ignored the warning to not use the copier to use to print labels.