Joke of the Day

[Akitu]

Re: Joke of the Day

An Irishman, Mick, goes to the doctor complaining of stomach pain. Doctor: "Well I cant find anything wrong with you , it must be the drinking"
Mick : "Ill come back when you're sober Doctor"

[Copier Addict]

Re: Joke of the Day

What do you get if you take the red dot off the Japanese flag?

The French flag!

You may have to explain that one to me.

[Akitu]

Re: Joke of the Day

You may have to explain that one to me.

It's a running joke that the French are quick to surrender. The Japanese flag is a white background with a red dot in the center, remove said red dot and you're left with a white flag; said white flag is the international symbol for surrender.

[Akitu]

Re: Joke of the Day

Two clowns are eating a cannibal. One says to the other "I think we're doing this joke wrong".

[slimslob]

Re: Joke of the Day

It's a running joke that the French are quick to surrender. The Japanese flag is a white background with a red dot in the center, remove said red dot and you're left with a white flag; said white flag is the international symbol for surrender.

You should have told him to think about it for a couple of days. If after that he still couldn't figure it out then tell them. It took me about 30 seconds.

[ZOOTECH]

Re: Joke of the Day

One day walking through the woods Rabbit came across Fox. Fox was about to drink himself silly and Rabbit told fox "Dear Fox don't drink yourself to death, life is good and worth living,
come run with me through the woods, what do you have to lose?" Fox agreed and off they ran full speed past tress and rocks till they came across Bear.

Bear was about to take pain killers 'till he couldn't move no more. Rabbit said "Bear we love you, life is great and worth living. Please run with us and enjoy life and all will be great."
Bear threw the pills down and off they ran.

Soon they came across Deer who was doing heroin. Rabbit yells "Deer please stop and come with us. We are in touch with nature and loving life!!" Deer agrees and off they run.

Then they came across Lion who was about to smoke some weed. Rabbit said "Lion please come us"...... But before he could finish Lion chomped the rabbit and ate him in one quick bite.

All the animals were shocked and asked Lion "why did you eat Rabbit".
Lion responds "Every time that little shit does ecstasy he gets a group of friends running through the woods looking like a bunch of idiots!"

[Akitu]

Re: Joke of the Day

The control tower gives them a runway assignment, and they start their approach.
The pilot says, "Does that runway look kind of short to you?"
The co-pilot says, "It sure does."
"I thought it was supposed to be longer than that"
"Me too"
"Better set full flaps."
"Full flaps set."
"I want thrust reversers the minute we touch."
"Standing by on the thrust reversers."
"And full power once thrust reversers are set."
"Roger that."
"I'm gonna try to catch the very end of the runway, and stand on the brakes. Stand by to reverse thrust."
"Roger that."
They touch down, blast the thrust reversers, stomp the brakes, and just manage to get the plane stopped before it runs off into the grass.
The pilot says, "Damn, that was a short runway."
The co-pilot says, "Yeah, but look how wide it is."

[KenB]

Re: Joke of the Day

The control tower gives them a runway assignment, and they start their approach.
The pilot says, "Does that runway look kind of short to you?"
The co-pilot says, "It sure does."
"I thought it was supposed to be longer than that"
"Me too"
"Better set full flaps."
"Full flaps set."
"I want thrust reversers the minute we touch."
"Standing by on the thrust reversers."
"And full power once thrust reversers are set."
"Roger that."
"I'm gonna try to catch the very end of the runway, and stand on the brakes. Stand by to reverse thrust."
"Roger that."
They touch down, blast the thrust reversers, stomp the brakes, and just manage to get the plane stopped before it runs off into the grass.
The pilot says, "Damn, that was a short runway."
The co-pilot says, "Yeah, but look how wide it is."

It's been 35 years since I heard that one... But it's still just as funny!

[Akitu]

Re: Joke of the Day

A prospector struck it rich, so he came down from the mountains and walked into a saloon in the nearest town. "I'm lookin' for the meanest, roughest and toughest whore in the Yukon!" he said to the bartender.
"Well, we got her!" replied the barkeep. "She's upstairs in the second room on the right." The prospector handed the bartender a gold nugget to pay for the whore and two bottles of beer.
He grabbed the bottles, stomped up the stairs, kicked open the second door on the right and yelled, "I'm lookin' for the meanest, roughest and toughest whore in the Yukon!"
The woman inside the room looked at the miner and said, "You found her!" Then she stripped naked, bent over and grabbed her ankles. "How do you know I want to do it in that position?" asked the miner.
"I don't," replied the whore, "but I thought you might like to open those beers first."

[Akitu]

Re: Joke of the Day

A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street.
"But officer," the man began, "I can explain."
"Just be quiet," snapped the officer. "I'm going to let you cool your heels in jail until the chief gets back."
"But, officer, I just wanted to say,..."
"And I said keep quiet! You're going to jail!"
A few hours later the officer looked in on his prisoner and said, "Lucky for you that the chief's at his daughter's wedding. He'll be in a good mood when he gets back."
"Don't count on it," answered the fellow in the cell. "I'm the groom."

[Akitu]

[blsquires]

Re: Joke of the Day

i was very disappointed yesterday ,i saw a sign to the zoo .i went to the gate and paid $15 dollars to get in .
the zoo covered acres of ground but the only thing in there was a box with a dog in it.i went closer to read the sign on the box and apparently it was a shitzoo.

[Brian8506]

Re: Joke of the Day

Three cowboys were seated around the campfire out on the lonesome sagebrush prairie and with the pride for which these men were famous.
It was a night of bravado, rot gut whiskey and night of tall tales.



Frank, the hand from Wyoming says, "I must be the strongest, meanest,

toughest cowboy there is. Why, just the other day, a bull got loose in the corral. It had gored six men before I wrestled it to the ground by the horns with my bare hands and castrated that sucker with my teeth."



Snake River Ben, from Idaho, couldn't stand to be bested.

"That's nothing, I was walking down the trail yesterday and a 15 foot

diamondback rattler slid out from under a rock and made a move for me. I grabbed that bastard with my bare hands, bit off its head, and sucked the poison down in one gulp and didn't even get a belly ache."



Old Red River Tom, the cowboy from Montana, remained silent, slowly stirring the campfire coals with his pecker.

[habik]

Re: Joke of the Day

I have seen the punch line before.

I thought you gonna say the Hook line

[Akitu]

Re: Joke of the Day

Three cowboys were seated around the campfire out on the lonesome sagebrush prairie and with the pride for which these men were famous.
It was a night of bravado, rot gut whiskey and night of tall tales.



Frank, the hand from Wyoming says, "I must be the strongest, meanest,

toughest cowboy there is. Why, just the other day, a bull got loose in the corral. It had gored six men before I wrestled it to the ground by the horns with my bare hands and castrated that sucker with my teeth."



Snake River Ben, from Idaho, couldn't stand to be bested.

"That's nothing, I was walking down the trail yesterday and a 15 foot

diamondback rattler slid out from under a rock and made a move for me. I grabbed that bastard with my bare hands, bit off its head, and sucked the poison down in one gulp and didn't even get a belly ache."



Old Red River Tom, the cowboy from Montana, remained silent, slowly stirring the campfire coals with his pecker.

I posted this long ago; and then to boot I think I reposted myself afterwards.