Joke of the Day

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  • Tricky
    Field Supervisor

    Site Contributor
    2,500+ Posts
    • Apr 2009
    • 2621
    #2341
    Re: Joke of the Day


     A couple of naked lesbians barged into the house today, and started wrestling with my wife while she was in the bath.

    I tried to help, but I could only knock one out.

      Comment

      • Akitu
        Legendary Frost Spec Tech

        Site Contributor
        2,500+ Posts
        • Oct 2010
        • 2595
        #2342
        Re: Joke of the Day

        Someone told me I'm condescending.

        That means I talk down to people.
        Cthulhu for president! Why settle for the lesser evil?

          Comment

          • fixthecopier
            ALIEN OVERLORD

            2,500+ Posts
            • Apr 2008
            • 4714
            #2343
            Re: Joke of the Day

            The greatest enemy of knowledge isn't ignorance, it is the illusion of knowledge. Stephen Hawking

              Comment

              • Akitu
                Legendary Frost Spec Tech

                Site Contributor
                2,500+ Posts
                • Oct 2010
                • 2595
                #2344
                Re: Joke of the Day

                My friend's dog died the other day, so I surprised her by going out and getting an identical dog.

                She was furious, she said "what am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?"
                Cthulhu for president! Why settle for the lesser evil?

                  Comment

                  • NeoMatrix
                    Senior Tech.

                    2,500+ Posts
                    • Nov 2010
                    • 3514
                    #2345
                    Re: Joke of the Day

                    Originally posted by gwaddle
                    [ATTACH=CONFIG]26421[/ATTACH]
                    Obviously it's a "brother" printer....
                    Inauguration to the "AI cancel-culture" fraternity 1997...
                    •••••• •••[§]• |N | € | o | M | Δ | t | π | ¡ | x | •[§]••• ••••••

                      Comment

                      • KenB
                        Geek Extraordinaire

                        2,500+ Posts
                        • Dec 2007
                        • 3945
                        #2346
                        Re: Joke of the Day

                        My wife told me I'm out of shape.

                        That's not true....round is a shape, is it not?

                        Sheesh!
                        “I think you should treat good friends like a fine wine. That’s why I keep mine locked up in the basement.” - Tim Hawkins

                          Comment

                          • slimslob
                            Retired

                            Site Contributor
                            25,000+ Posts
                            • May 2013
                            • 36895
                            #2347
                            Re: Joke of the Day

                            Originally posted by gwaddle
                            [ATTACH=CONFIG]26421[/ATTACH]
                            Originally posted by NeoMatrix
                            Obviously it's a "brother" printer....
                            I had first seen it from as a feed from "Old Lutheran" Facebook page. Gwaddle either got it from there or from when I shared it on my Facebook time line.

                              Comment

                              • Akitu
                                Legendary Frost Spec Tech

                                Site Contributor
                                2,500+ Posts
                                • Oct 2010
                                • 2595
                                #2348
                                Re: Joke of the Day

                                A Jehovah's Witness knocks on a Jew's door.
                                Jew: "Can I help you?"
                                Witness: "Hello sir, I'm here to tell you about the great Lord Jehovah!"
                                Jew: "Is that what you call him? You know, we have a name for him too..."
                                Witness: "No way?!"
                                Jew: "Yahweh."
                                Cthulhu for president! Why settle for the lesser evil?

                                  Comment

                                  • slimslob
                                    Retired

                                    Site Contributor
                                    25,000+ Posts
                                    • May 2013
                                    • 36895
                                    #2349
                                    Re: Joke of the Day

                                    From Natural Solutions Magazine's Facebook page.

                                      Comment

                                      • Akitu
                                        Legendary Frost Spec Tech

                                        Site Contributor
                                        2,500+ Posts
                                        • Oct 2010
                                        • 2595
                                        #2350
                                        Re: Joke of the Day

                                        Sometimes I hide my wife's inhaler. The neighbours think I am a stud when they hear her panting heavily "give it to me!"
                                        Cthulhu for president! Why settle for the lesser evil?

                                          Comment

                                          • gwaddle
                                            Senior Tech

                                            500+ Posts
                                            • May 2009
                                            • 782
                                            #2351
                                            Re: Joke of the Day

                                            Originally posted by slimslob
                                            From Natural Solutions Magazine's Facebook page.


                                            I stole it.
                                            I know I should be ashamed of myself. Strangely though, I am not.

                                              Comment

                                              • Iowatech
                                                Not a service manager

                                                2,500+ Posts
                                                • Dec 2009
                                                • 3930
                                                #2352
                                                Re: Joke of the Day

                                                Why some people take the bus:
                                                Dilbert comic strip for 09/28/2014 from the official Dilbert comic strips archive.

                                                  Comment

                                                  • Akitu
                                                    Legendary Frost Spec Tech

                                                    Site Contributor
                                                    2,500+ Posts
                                                    • Oct 2010
                                                    • 2595
                                                    #2353
                                                    Re: Joke of the Day

                                                    I found a rock yesterday that measured 1760 yards in length. Must be some kind of milestone...
                                                    Cthulhu for president! Why settle for the lesser evil?

                                                      Comment

                                                      • igi
                                                        Service Manager

                                                        1,000+ Posts
                                                        • Apr 2009
                                                        • 1507
                                                        #2354
                                                        Re: Joke of the Day

                                                        I carry a little rock from mars in my pocket
                                                        I must be marsupial

                                                          Comment

                                                          • blsquires
                                                            Trusted Tech

                                                            Site Contributor
                                                            250+ Posts
                                                            • Nov 2008
                                                            • 342
                                                            #2355
                                                            Re: Joke of the Day

                                                            a truck driver rang his boss and said you know that country run you sent me on ,well i have run over and killed a pig what can i do.
                                                            the boss said are you sure you have killed it.
                                                            yes said the driver i am sure.
                                                            well said the boss just roll it into a ditch .
                                                            ok said the driver but what do i do with the uniform.

                                                              Comment

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