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A tree is known by its fruit, a man by his deeds. A good deed is never lost, he who sows courtesy, reaps friendship, and he who plants kindness gathers love.
Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused. -
Re: Joke of the Day
A monkey is sitting in a tree smoking a joint when a lizard walks past.
The lizard looks up and says, "Hey, What are you doing?"
The monkey says "Smoking a joint, come on up and join me!"
So, the lizard climbs up and sits next to the monkey, and they smoke another joint.
After a while the lizard says his mouth is very dry, and that he's going to go get a drink from the River.
At the riverbank the lizard is so stoned that he leans over too far and falls into the water.
A crocodile sees this, swims over to the stoned lizard, and helps him to the bank.
He then asks the lizard, "What's the matter with you?"
The lizard explains to the crocodile that he was sitting in the tree, smoking a joint with a monkey and his mouth got dry, and since he was so wasted, when he went to get a drink from the river, he fell in!
The inquisitive crocodile says he has to check this out.
The crocodile walked into the jungle, and found the tree that the monkey was sitting in....finishing a joint.
The croc looks up and says "HEY, MONKEY!"
The monkey looks down and says, "OH MY GOD!! DUUUUUUUUUDE.....HOW MUCH WATER DID YOU DRINK?!"OmertÃComment
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Inauguration to the "AI cancel-culture" fraternity 1997...
•••••• •••[§]• |N | € | o | M | Δ | t | π | ¡ | x | •[§]••• ••••••Comment
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Re: Joke of the Day
Two bananas are parking down next to the river tanning in the sun when a turd swims past.
Turd calls to them, "hey come and swim the water is perfect".
The one banana looks at the other banana and asks him, "really can you believe this shit?".WhateverComment
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A tree is known by its fruit, a man by his deeds. A good deed is never lost, he who sows courtesy, reaps friendship, and he who plants kindness gathers love.
Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused.Comment
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A tree is known by its fruit, a man by his deeds. A good deed is never lost, he who sows courtesy, reaps friendship, and he who plants kindness gathers love.
Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused.Comment
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A tree is known by its fruit, a man by his deeds. A good deed is never lost, he who sows courtesy, reaps friendship, and he who plants kindness gathers love.
Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused.Comment
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A tree is known by its fruit, a man by his deeds. A good deed is never lost, he who sows courtesy, reaps friendship, and he who plants kindness gathers love.
Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused.Comment
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A tree is known by its fruit, a man by his deeds. A good deed is never lost, he who sows courtesy, reaps friendship, and he who plants kindness gathers love.
Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused.Comment
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A tree is known by its fruit, a man by his deeds. A good deed is never lost, he who sows courtesy, reaps friendship, and he who plants kindness gathers love.
Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused.Comment
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Re: Joke of the Day
Two factory workers are talking. The woman says, "I can make the boss give me the day off."
The man replies, "And how would you do that?" The woman says, "Just wait and see." She then
hangs upside down from the ceiling. The boss comes in and says, "What are you doing ?" The
woman replies, "I'm a light bulb." The boss then says, " You've been working so much that
you've gone crazy. I think you need to take the day off." The man starts to follow her and
the boss says, "Where are you going?"
The man says, "I'm going home, too. I can't work in the dark."Live for yourself and you will live in vain. Live for others, and you will live againComment
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Re: Joke of the Day
Why does Stephen Hawking only do One-Liners?
Because he can't do Stand-Up!
Say what you want about pedophiles,
but at least they drive slow through the school zones.
What do you call a man who cries while he's pleasuring himself?
A Tearjerker!OmertÃComment
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Re: Joke of the Day
Two Mexicans are lost in the desert. They see a tree
in the distance. As they get nearer they see its draped
with rasher upon rasher of juicy bacon.
"Hey Pepe", says the first man.
"Ees a bacon tree, we're saved!"
Then he runs to the tree but is gunned down
in a hail of bullets.
"What happened?" shouts Pepe. With his last breath,
his friend shouts "Run amigo, ees not a bacon tree.
Ees a ham bush"A tree is known by its fruit, a man by his deeds. A good deed is never lost, he who sows courtesy, reaps friendship, and he who plants kindness gathers love.
Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused.Comment
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Re: Joke of the Day
Cheltenham Horse Races.
A group of primary school infants, accompanied by two female teachers, went on a field trip to Cheltenham races to see and learn
about thoroughbred horses.
When it was time to take the children to the toilet, it was decided that the girls would go with one teacher and the boys would go with the other.
The teacher assigned to the boys was waiting outside the men's toilet when one of the boys came out and told her that none of them could reach the urinal.
Having no choice, she went inside, helped the boys with their pants, and began hoisting the boys up, one by one,
holding their willies to direct the flow away from their clothes.
As she lifted one, she couldn't help but notice that he was unusually well endowed.
Trying not to show that she was staring, the teacher said, 'You must be in year four.'
'No, madam,' he replied.
'I'm riding Silver Arrow in the 2.15.A tree is known by its fruit, a man by his deeds. A good deed is never lost, he who sows courtesy, reaps friendship, and he who plants kindness gathers love.
Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused.Comment
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Re: Joke of the Day
An American, a Frenchman, and a Chinese guy are on a boat.
The boat sinks and they get stuck on a deserted island.
The American says:
"Okay, I'll be in charge of building us shelter, French guy, you're in charge of finding drinking water, and Chinese guy, you're in charge of the supplies."
They all agree to that and go off to get started.
At the end of the day the American has built a nice tent and the Frenchmen has found a good water hole, but the Chinese guy doesn't come back.
He doesn't come back the next day either so they go to search for him.
Finally, they are searching for him and the Chinese guy jumps out from behind a tree and yells
"SUPPLIES!"A tree is known by its fruit, a man by his deeds. A good deed is never lost, he who sows courtesy, reaps friendship, and he who plants kindness gathers love.
Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused.Comment
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