Joke of the Day
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"The Serenity Prayer" . . .
God grant me the serenity to accept stupid people , the courage to not waste my time and energy on them , and the wisdom to know that I cannot fix STUPID .Comment
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"In a cruel and evil world, being cynical can allow you to get some entertainment out of it."
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Re: Joke of the Day
So I was sat on my porch one day and I saw 2 blondes working hard at the end of the street. One was digging a hole and the other would fill it in immediately after the first was done. This went on for about 2 hours until I walked over and said "Hey, you two are working pretty hard there, but I don't understand what you are trying to achieve?" To which one of the blondes replied "Well there's usually 3 of us, but the one who plants the trees is off sick today".Cthulhu for president! Why settle for the lesser evil?Comment
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The greatest enemy of knowledge isn't ignorance, it is the illusion of knowledge. Stephen HawkingComment
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Re: Joke of the Day
A horse walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender is in shock, an actual horse just walked into his bar, sat down at the bar like a person, and ordered a beer in perfect English. He tells the horse,
"I'm sorry sir, I just have to go speak to my manager for a moment."
So the bartender goes to the back, and explains the situation to his manager. The manager thinks for a moment and then says to the bartender,
"Okay look, this is a bar so go ahead and serve that horse a beer. However considering he's a horse, he probably doesn't know how much beer costs, so go ahead and charge him $50 for it."
The bartender shrugs and goes back to the front, where the horse is still sitting, visibly watching football on the TV. The bartender gets to the bar and asks the horse,
"Okay, what'll you have?"
The horse turns back around and says,
"Gimme an IPA"
So the bartender pours him an IPA, and slides the beer across to him. He then slowly slides the $50 check across the bar to the horse. The horse picks up the check with his hooves, passively looks at it, pulls out his credit card, slowly slides it and the check back, and then calmly goes back to watching the game as he laps his beer. Now the bartender is still confused, the situation is difficult to get his head around, but he doesn't want to risk offending a 1000lb horse by asking the wrong questions. So he opts to start some small talk and says to the horse,
"You know, we don't really have too many horses coming in here."
The horse slowly, impassively turns back around to face the bartender and replies,
"You know with prices like these I'm not surprised."Cthulhu for president! Why settle for the lesser evil?Comment
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Re: Joke of the Day
A man is in bed with his Thai girlfriend. After having great sex, she spends the next hour just stroking his penis, something she had lovingly done on many occasions. Rather enjoying it, he turns and asks her, 'Why do you love doing that?' She replies: 'Because I really miss mine'Cthulhu for president! Why settle for the lesser evil?Comment
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Re: Joke of the Day
An old couple gets pulled over and...
Lady cop - "May I see you license and registration sir?"
Old man - "ugh, what did she say?"
Old wife - "She needs to see you license and registration dear."
The old man hands it to the lady cop and...
Lady cop - "Oh, I see you are from New York. I used to have a lover from New York, he was the worst lover I ever had."
Old man - "ugh, what did she say?"
Old wife - "Nothing dear, She thinks she used to know you."Cthulhu for president! Why settle for the lesser evil?Comment
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Re: Joke of the Day
An Englishman has started his own business in Afghanistan
He is making Land Mines that look like prayer mats
The business is really doing well
Prophets are going through the roof.
Welcome home Sgt. Bowe BergdahlSome days, it's just not worth chewing through the restraintsComment
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Re: Joke of the Day
Personally, I would have said "The business is really booming."Comment
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Inauguration to the "AI cancel-culture" fraternity 1997...
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