Joke of the Day

[fixthecopier]

Re: Joke of the Day

A mother-in-law arrives home from shopping to find her son-in-law, Paddy in a steaming rage and hurriedly packing his suitcase.

"What happened Paddy?" she asks anxiously.
"What happened? I'll tell you what happened! I sent an email to my wife telling her I was coming home today from my fishing trip. I get home ... and guess what I found? Your daughter, my wife, Jean, naked with Joe Murphy in our marital bed! This is unforgivable! The end of our marriage. I'm done. I'm leaving forever!"
"Ah now, calm down, calm down Paddy!" says his mother-in-law. "There is something very odd going on here. Jean would never do such a thing! There must be a simple explanation. I'll go speak to her immediately and find out what happened."
Moments later, the mother-in-law comes back with a big smile. "Paddy, there, I told you it must be a simple explanation.............She never got your email!

[fixthecopier]

Re: Joke of the Day

My wife hates it when I steel the kitchen utensils, but it's a whisk I willing to take.

[ZOOTECH]

Re: Joke of the Day

My wife hates it when I steel the kitchen utensils, but it's a whisk I willing to take.

Just don't get caught in the shredder.

[Lagonda]

Re: Joke of the Day

My wife hates it when I steel the kitchen utensils, but it's a whisk I willing to take.

Groan.jpg

[gneebore]

Re: Joke of the Day

My wife hates it when I steel the kitchen utensils, but it's a whisk I willing to take.

You trying to stir up trouble again.

[KenB]

Re: Joke of the Day

My wife hates it when I steel the kitchen utensils, but it's a whisk I willing to take.

I know when I'm whipped.

[ZOOTECH]

Re: Joke of the Day

A medical school professor is giving a lecture, using slides to discuss different cases. He brings up
an X-ray image and says, "As you can see class, this patient limps because his right fibula and tibia
are radically arched."
Turning, he points to a student, and asks: "You there, what you do in a case like this?"
The student stares at the X-ray, ponders for a moment and then replies, "I suppose I would limp, too."

[slimslob]

Re: Joke of the Day

[fixthecopier]

[ZOOTECH]

Re: Joke of the Day

I need a better 'bookmark' for that GROAN button.

[slimslob]

Re: Joke of the Day

two men are in a pub...
“I want to kill my wife”, says one. “Why not ask Arti, over there”, says the other man, pointing to a man at the fruit-machine. “Arti over there is a top hitman” the friend goes on. So the man approaches Arti. “Are you Arti the hitman?” asks the man. “Sure am”, replies Arti. “You couldn’t murder my wife for me, could you?” asks the man. “I can”, replies Arti, “And you know, I promised my Master, who taught me the noble art of assassination, that I would do my one hundredth kill for a fee of just one pound, and give the client two further kills for free”. “Great”, says the man”could you kill my wife, her sister and my mother in law”. “OK”, replies Arti. “Get them to go to Tesco’s tomorrow at 10.00am”. “Right”, says the man. The following day the man’s wife, her sister and his mother-in-law are tricked by the man to go to Tesco’s. In walks Arti and in no time at all he strangles the wife, her sister and mother-in-law. All the newspapers lead with the same headline the following day – Arti chokes three for a pound at Tesco’s.

I need a better 'bookmark' for that GROAN button.

I know exactly where mine is. I use it frequently on Facebook.
Groan.jpg

[Gallus]

Re: Joke of the Day

Everybody needs a groan button.

[slimslob]

Re: Joke of the Day

Everybody needs a groan button.

You're free to save the image if you want.

[slimslob]

Re: Joke of the Day

[slimslob]

Re: Joke of the Day