Joke of the Day

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  • tsbservice
    Field tech

    Site Contributor
    5,000+ Posts
    • May 2007
    • 7927
    #4771
    Re: Joke of the Day

    This Farmer has a rooster that screws everything.
    Chickens, birds, rabbits, everything. He told the old rooster if he didn't stop it he was going to screw himself to death.
    A few days latter the farmer went out for a walk. He saw the Rooster laying on his back with his feet up in the air.
    He went over to the rooster and looked down at him and said I knew you would screw yourself to death.
    The old rooster opened one eye and went "Shhhhh buzzards".
    A tree is known by its fruit, a man by his deeds. A good deed is never lost, he who sows courtesy, reaps friendship, and he who plants kindness gathers love.
    Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused.

      Comment

      • izzynut
        Gov.

        5,000+ Posts
        • Aug 2013
        • 5347
        #4772

          Comment

          • slimslob
            Retired

            Site Contributor
            25,000+ Posts
            • May 2013
            • 36905
            #4773
            Re: Joke of the Day

            Why cats are banned from pirate ships!

              Comment

              • slimslob
                Retired

                Site Contributor
                25,000+ Posts
                • May 2013
                • 36905
                #4774
                Re: Joke of the Day

                  Comment

                  • slimslob
                    Retired

                    Site Contributor
                    25,000+ Posts
                    • May 2013
                    • 36905
                    #4775
                    Re: Joke of the Day

                      Comment

                      • slimslob
                        Retired

                        Site Contributor
                        25,000+ Posts
                        • May 2013
                        • 36905
                        #4776
                        Re: Joke of the Day

                          Comment

                          • Phil B.
                            Field Supervisor

                            10,000+ Posts
                            • Jul 2016
                            • 22798
                            #4777
                            Re: Joke of the Day

                            Originally posted by slimslob
                            Bad move!

                            Sent from my SM-G960U using Tapatalk

                              Comment

                              • slimslob
                                Retired

                                Site Contributor
                                25,000+ Posts
                                • May 2013
                                • 36905
                                #4778
                                Re: Joke of the Day

                                  Comment

                                  • tsbservice
                                    Field tech

                                    Site Contributor
                                    5,000+ Posts
                                    • May 2007
                                    • 7927
                                    #4779
                                    Re: Joke of the Day

                                    copier.jpg
                                    A tree is known by its fruit, a man by his deeds. A good deed is never lost, he who sows courtesy, reaps friendship, and he who plants kindness gathers love.
                                    Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused.

                                      Comment

                                      • tsbservice
                                        Field tech

                                        Site Contributor
                                        5,000+ Posts
                                        • May 2007
                                        • 7927
                                        #4780
                                        Re: Joke of the Day

                                        A guy phones a law office and says, "I want to speak to my lawyer."

                                        The receptionist replies, "I'm sorry but he died last week."

                                        The next day he phones again and asks the same question. The receptionist replies, "I told you yesterday, he died last week."

                                        The next day the guy calls again and asks to speak to his lawyer. By this time the receptionist is getting annoyed and replies, "I keep telling you that your lawyer died last week. Why do you keep calling?"

                                        The guy responds, "Because I just love hearing it."
                                        A tree is known by its fruit, a man by his deeds. A good deed is never lost, he who sows courtesy, reaps friendship, and he who plants kindness gathers love.
                                        Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused.

                                          Comment

                                          • tsbservice
                                            Field tech

                                            Site Contributor
                                            5,000+ Posts
                                            • May 2007
                                            • 7927
                                            #4781
                                            Re: Joke of the Day

                                            Worstnumber2020.PNG
                                            A tree is known by its fruit, a man by his deeds. A good deed is never lost, he who sows courtesy, reaps friendship, and he who plants kindness gathers love.
                                            Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused.

                                              Comment

                                              • tsbservice
                                                Field tech

                                                Site Contributor
                                                5,000+ Posts
                                                • May 2007
                                                • 7927
                                                #4782
                                                Re: Joke of the Day

                                                Two Irish hunters got a pilot to fly them to Canada to hunt moose.
                                                They managed to bag six of the beasts, all with massive antlers.
                                                As they were loading the plane to return, the pilot said the plane
                                                could take only four moose.

                                                The two lads objected strongly, 'Last year we shot six. The pilot let
                                                us take them all and he had the same plane as yours.'.
                                                Reluctantly, the pilot gave in and all six were loaded.

                                                However, even on full power, the little plane couldn't handle the load
                                                and went down.

                                                Somehow, surrounded by the moose bodies, Paddy and Mick survived the crash.
                                                After climbing out of the wreckage, Paddy asked Mick, 'Any idea where we are?'

                                                Mick replied, 'yup...I think we're pretty close to where we crashed last year'
                                                A tree is known by its fruit, a man by his deeds. A good deed is never lost, he who sows courtesy, reaps friendship, and he who plants kindness gathers love.
                                                Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused.

                                                  Comment

                                                  • tsbservice
                                                    Field tech

                                                    Site Contributor
                                                    5,000+ Posts
                                                    • May 2007
                                                    • 7927
                                                    #4783
                                                    Re: Joke of the Day

                                                    Little Johnny was sitting outside a church playing with sulphuric acid.

                                                    The priest came up to him and said "Child why are you playing with sulphuric acid? Thats dangerous! I've got some holy water inside that is much more powerful."

                                                    Little Johnny replied "How come?"

                                                    "Well last week I splashed some holy water on Mrs.Wilson's tummy and she passed a baby!" said the priest proudly.

                                                    "Thats nothing," retorted Little Johnny "I spashed some sulphuric acid on my dog's balls and he passed a Ferrari!"
                                                    A tree is known by its fruit, a man by his deeds. A good deed is never lost, he who sows courtesy, reaps friendship, and he who plants kindness gathers love.
                                                    Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused.

                                                      Comment

                                                      • tsbservice
                                                        Field tech

                                                        Site Contributor
                                                        5,000+ Posts
                                                        • May 2007
                                                        • 7927
                                                        #4784
                                                        Re: Joke of the Day

                                                        The teacher asked Little Johnny to use the word "fascinate" in a sentence...

                                                        Johnny stood up and said,

                                                        "My sister has a sweater with 10 buttons, but her boobs are so big she can only fasten eight!
                                                        A tree is known by its fruit, a man by his deeds. A good deed is never lost, he who sows courtesy, reaps friendship, and he who plants kindness gathers love.
                                                        Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused.

                                                          Comment

                                                          • BillyCarpenter
                                                            Field Supervisor

                                                            Site Contributor
                                                            VIP Subscriber
                                                            10,000+ Posts
                                                            • Aug 2020
                                                            • 16308
                                                            #4785
                                                            Re: Joke of the Day

                                                            Originally posted by tsbservice
                                                            The teacher asked Little Johnny to use the word "fascinate" in a sentence...

                                                            Johnny stood up and said,

                                                            "My sister has a sweater with 10 buttons, but her boobs are so big she can only fasten eight!

                                                            Boy, you ain't right.

                                                            That's pretty good.
                                                            Adversity temporarily visits a strong man but stays with the weak for a lifetime.

                                                              Comment

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